Month: December 2018

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Dreams Always Tell Us the Truth

In his presentation titled “The Eagle’s Flight,” Jungian psychotherapist John Sanford says: “If we follow our dreams, we find that our dreams will correct us, encourage us, let us know when we’ve gotten off the path. Sometimes they will be beautiful dreams out of which we can derive faith and encouragement, and sometimes they will make us very uncomfortable. But they will always tell us the truth. They tell us how it is with us right now.” Sanford bases his comments both on his own dreams and on the dreams his clients shared with him during his many years working as a therapist. My experience since I began paying attention to my dreams many years ago attests to what he says.

I have shared several of my dreams in other posts to show how dreams have been valuable to me, with the hope that readers of my blog will see how their dreams can be valuable to them. A dream that stands out as an example of one that helped me to see I had gotten off my path had the image of a political figure who is bombastic and for whom I have no respect. By using the image of that person, my dream helped me to see that I was making some wrong decisions. Because I, like Sanford, believe dreams always tell us the truth, that dream helped me to take corrective action. An example of an encouraging dream was one that had many cats in it. Cats can symbolize health, and my dream came at a time when it helped me to be reassured that there were positive things occurring at an unconscious level.

Dreams are our primary link to what is happening in our unconscious. When Sanford says “they tell us how it is with us right now,” he is referring to what is happening right now in our unconscious and how that is related to what is happening at a conscious level. By honoring our dreams and trying to be open to what they might be telling us, we can use that information as we endeavor to live in a more genuine and grounded way.

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Putting Ourselves in Other People’s Places

In my work as a crisis line counselor, I have spoken with many women and men who have told me they have mental illness. The diagnoses I’ve heard most often are depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and schizophrenia. Many of the callers have told me they have a therapist and a psychiatrist, and some attend group therapy as well as individual therapy. Some have told me they have needed to be hospitalized at times.

I recently came across an Amish proverb that caused me to think about people who deal with the challenges of mental illness: “Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.” There is much need for more empathy in our world, including for people who have mental health problems. I am often impressed by the efforts people make to deal with their symptoms by doing coping skills, attending individual therapy and support groups, and practicing self-care, including healthy nutrition and exercise. For the more severe diagnoses, taking medication as prescribed also helps to manage their symptoms. Similar to having a physical illness such as diabetes where people need to monitor their blood sugar and do what is necessary to maintain a healthy level, people with mental illness need to notice when their symptoms increase and do self-care or coping techniques to help to manage them. This requires being aware and being motivated. Some people who call the crisis line talk about how overwhelming dealing with their mental illness is and the discouragement they sometimes feel.

It concerns me that many people who have the good fortune of not having mental illness have no idea what it is like for people who do, and therefore have no appreciation of the effort many people put into trying their best to take care of themselves. Too often people make generalizations and display little, if any, empathy. And too often this ignorance adds to the stigmatization of mental illness, another challenge callers have told me adds to their burden.

Through this post I want to acknowledge the women and men who struggle with mental illness and to applaud all that they do to cope and care for themselves. For I, and I’m sure many other people, are truly impressed by them.

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Doing Small Things with Great Love

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” I remind myself of this quotation by Mother Teresa from time to time. When I hear or read about some of the heartbreaking things that happen in our world, I sometimes feel discouraged. I question whether I and others can help to make our world a better place. And then I remember that whatever each of us does, when it is done with love, truly does matter.

On Thanksgiving Day some friends of mine volunteered to deliver meals prepared by a program for low-income and homebound people. Where I work some of my coworkers are collecting donations they will use to purchase gifts for children from low-income families who otherwise would not receive presents for the holidays. At the assisted living facility where my mother lives, I see adults spending time with their parents who live there and bringing items that their parents need. There are many additional examples of small things done with great love. And each of those things can mean so much to the person receiving them.

I visit my elderly mother several times a week. Each time she sees me her face brightens and she gives me a big smile. My visits to her are a small thing that I do out of love for her, and I in turn am the recipient of her love for me.

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A Meaningful Symbolic Connection

For many years I have kept a journal in which I write my dreams and synchronicities I’ve noted, along with my thoughts about both. Not long ago I experienced a meaningful connection between a synchronistic experience and a dream I had a few weeks after that.

About a month ago, I needed to take my cat to the vet. I was the only person in the waiting room when a woman came into the clinic with her dog which was on a leash. It was a tall, healthy-looking, attractive dog, with a light brown coat. As soon as the dog saw me, it started barking and straining at its leash. I love animals and had never had a dog act that way toward me. In a few minutes my cat was returned to me in her carrier and we left the clinic. The way the dog acted caused me to wonder if there might be meaning in what had occurred. For just as dreams use images of people and animals to symbolize certain traits and to get our attention, so do experiences in outer reality.

One thing that came to mind is that dogs can symbolize giving direction, based on the fact that dogs use their sense of smell to track and find people, other animals, etc. So on one level the incident served to remind me of the importance of trying to discern and trying to follow my inner direction.

About three weeks after that happened I had this dream: I’m standing outside when I see a person walking a tall dog on a leash. The person and the dog are a ways off, I would guess at least 150 feet away. When the dog sees me, he comes running toward me, not in an aggressive way; more like he’s just interested in me as a person standing there. The dog runs fast and it turns out the leash can extend that far. I’m not afraid of him–I’m more intrigued to know why he’s running to me–but I am concerned he’s coming so fast he might knock me down. But the owner is able to cause the dog to slow down as he nears me, and when he’s beside me I pet him and scratch his neck which it is apparent he likes. I learn from the person that this dog is available for adoption. Although I like this dog, I can’t consider adding caring for a pet to my busy schedule right now. Another person walking a dog in the adoption program comes up to us and says that often people will get a large dog and then give the dog up when they realize how much care it needs and the cost of its food, and that is why there are so many large dogs for whom they’re trying to find homes.

As I was remembering and writing down this dream, I was struck by the fact that the dog in the dream looked exactly like the dog at the vet’s. It was also significant to me how differently the two dogs acted toward me, the one in outer reality clearly disliking me and the dog in the dream clearly liking me. I felt like the dream maker, by having the dog in the dream look identical to the dog who had barked at me, did that to bring to my attention the contrasting behavior of the two dogs.

Seeing this symbolism, I believe my hesitation in the dream to adopt the dog reflects the hesitation I sometimes have of listening to and following my inner voice. I believe the dream was emphasizing the importance of my making this dog a part of my life; that is, embracing direction from within. The dog chose me and now I needed to choose him, no matter what objections my ego raises.

For these reasons I decided to write a dream extension; that is, to add to the dream and change how it ended. Here’s what I wrote: Even though I have some concerns about adopting a dog right now, I believe I should adopt this dog. It chose me and there must be a reason for that, even though that reason is not clear yet. So I tell the person I will adopt this dog, and the dog snuggles its snout against my leg as if to let me know he’s happy with my decision.

I felt good after writing the dream extension. It was my way of saying to my inner voice that I’m sorry my ego gets in the way and that I am thankful for the synchronicity and the dream that were given to me. And also that I honor how my inner voice spoke to me through both.