“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” I recently had an experience that exemplifies these words of poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou.
I needed to have a few pieces of furniture moved to my home and was considering hiring movers. There were some items light enough that I could have moved them without assistance, but there were two larger and heavier pieces that required at least two people to move them. But my daughter told me not to hire movers because she and her fiancé wanted to do the moving for me.
They were so helpful: they arranged to rent and picked up a van, moved most of the furniture without my help, having me hold open doors and carry some small items, and in general did a great job. And I could see they took pleasure in doing this for me. It was also an opportunity to spend some time together, something that is always special for me. It was certainly a situation where they gave cheerfully and I accepted gratefully—and joyfully.
For the most part I would say I tend to give cheerfully, for I enjoy helping people. I hope and believe this is because I want others to benefit from my assistance as well as from the assistance they receive from others. But I also recognize that giving to others makes me feel good about myself.
I need to improve, however, on accepting help. It’s not that I’m ungrateful when I receive assistance or gifts, for I am thankful and express my gratitude. It’s more that I tend to shy away from receiving help. I’m used to doing most things myself, not depending on others, and being quite independent. I’m hesitant to ask for help unless it’s essential that I do so. Part of me thinks I should do whatever needs to be done on my own, and there’s also a part of me who doesn’t want to feel like I’m bothering someone by asking for help.
In both giving and accepting, discernment is important. When we try to live in a thoughtful and conscious way, we are better able to determine those times when giving is part of our path and also when accepting is part of our path. We should avoid doing either in situations where we are just following a “societal should” or trying to look good rather than acting from our hearts.
Ms. Angelou’s words remind us that both giving and receiving are ways of expressing generosity and caring. Accepting a person’s offer to be of assistance can mean a lot to that person. And being generous when it feels like the right thing to do makes our lives more meaningful. At those times both the giver and the receiver truly are blessed.
