Month: December 2022

“Do unto Others as You Would Have Them Do unto You.”

These well-known words were spoken by Jesus and appear in the Christian Bible at Luke 6:31.  They are one of the many teachings that Jesus gave during his time on earth.  His message is clear and it seems as if it shouldn’t be hard to follow, but for many of us it is.  Or at least easier to follow in our interactions with some people and more difficult in our interactions with others.  When this quote came to mind recently, I thought of the ways I want to be treated by others.

I want to be treated with respect.  We should treat all people with respect.  To do that, we need to be watchful of our tendency to consider ourselves better than others.  If someone says or does something that decreases our respect for them, we need to be open to the possibility that that person may change.  There are situations when it is the right decision for us to no longer spend time with persons whose words and/or actions conflict with our values.  But being respectful is always the correct starting point with each person we meet.

I want to be given the benefit of the doubt.  We should approach others as being honest and trustworthy until they do or say something that shows they are not.  If that happens, we need to remember that people make mistakes, including ourselves.  When people learn from their mistakes, they grow in self-knowledge which helps them to approach future situations.

I want people to not judge me.  We are less apt to be judgmental if we remember we never know everything about other people’s lives: what behaviors were modeled for them when they were children and adolescents, whether they grew up with parents/guardians who were capable of loving them, whether they experienced or observed something that traumatized them sometime during their lives, and the other ways they have been affected by people and occurrences and even by their genetic makeup.  It’s also important when we have judgmental thoughts about others to consider to what extent psychological projection might be happening—whether that which we attribute to another person might be a reflection of something about ourselves of which we are not conscious.  And then to grow in consciousness by integrating what we’ve learned about ourselves.

There are many other qualities that I value, including wanting people to treat me with patience, kindness, and generosity.

What matters is that we try to approach each other in accepting ways, looking for the good in each person.  What matters is that in our day-to-day encounters, our trying to follow the Golden Rule would certainly add much to what is positive in our world.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

This quote is by Joseph Campbell, an American writer and professor of literature whose best-known book is The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

When I first read this quote, I thought of how it could refer to a person’s choice of career.  We might decide to attend college, a technical school, or some other post-high school program, or to instead apply for a job right out of high school.  It’s also fairly common to change jobs or to return to school to prepare for a different profession.  Whatever work we do makes up a large part of how we spend our time and becomes part of our identity.  And yet our occupation is only one of the many aspects of our lives for which we plan.

Campbell’s words are an observation that planning and making decisions from just an ego perspective are limiting, for there are many other influences that affect who we are and what we do.  We are affected by unforeseen occurrences, by the many people with whom we come into contact, by the way other people treat us, by the books and articles we read, by our unconscious phenomena such as projection and complexes, and in many other ways.

I believe that Campbell’s words about the life “that is waiting for us” refer to following our individual path, or trying our best to do so, by endeavoring to discern that which our inner wisdom conveys to us though our dreams, synchronicities, intuition, and unexpected happenings.  Following our path in major decisions, such as those having to do with our relationships and our career, as well as in smaller day-to-day decisions.  It also means drawing upon the courage and perseverance given to us to deal with challenges that arise, as well as experiencing the joyful times we are given.  These are all aspects of the life waiting for us when we take steps toward becoming the unique individuals we were created to be.