Month: December 2024

“The highest result of education is tolerance.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, who when she was 19 months old had an illness that caused her to become blind and deaf.  With the assistance and companionship of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to read, write, and speak, and eventually she became a famous author, speaker, and philanthropist who positively affected the lives of many people.

Tolerance, along with empathy, compassion, and courage, is a quality that each one of us should strive to develop.  Those four qualities, although not synonymous, have a connection with each other.  When we have empathy for other people, we are able to have a sense of what they are experiencing and of their feelings related to what they are experiencing.  This helps us to be tolerant of our differences.  Having compassion for others works in a similar way.  And sometimes it takes courage to be tolerant of people who have different viewpoints, priorities, and traditions from ours, such as when our being tolerant in certain situations is not accepted by friends or family members.

When I first read Keller’s quote, I thought of her use of the word education as referring to learning that takes place in school.  It is important that children be exposed to examples of tolerance throughout their elementary and secondary schooling.  Having teachers who are tolerant, reading stories where the characters show this quality, and learning in history classes about people who were tolerant in the past helps students to learn to have tolerance.

But I also thought about education in the broader sense, for all of us have opportunities to learn each day of our lives.  The words and actions of our parents and other people who influenced us when we were children and teens; the interactions we have with others as adults; the reading we do—whether it be news articles, novels, or other genres.  All are sources of education and provide possibilities of learning about people who model tolerance in their words and actions.

It concerns me and many other people that being tolerant isn’t valued by some people.  As much as I appreciate the numerous positive aspects of the internet, one of its negative aspects is the presence of websites where intolerant views are expressed, often based on ignorance of the truth, misinformation, and/or lies.  This is one of many reasons we need to be watchful of what children and teens are viewing and to make possible activities and books and other alternatives to being online.  And to do the same for ourselves.

Although much of value can be and is gained as a result of education in its various forms, I agree with Helen Keller that learning to be tolerant is a very valuable result.

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

This quote is by Aldous Huxley, who was an English writer and philosopher.  He wrote poetry, essays, and many books.

It’s a common human trait to want other people to change, including people who disagree with us, who act in ways we don’t consider to be acceptable, or with whom we feel uncomfortable because of our differences.  And there are times when our wanting other people to change is based on our sincere concern for them, such as someone we are close to who is addicted to a substance and ideally should start a treatment program or someone who shows clear signs of depression and who ideally should seek help by meeting with a therapist.

And yet, as Huxley says, the only person who each of us can improve is ourself.  We can encourage others, we can try to be good examples by modeling healthy behaviors, we might even be able to have some influence on helping others make changes that will benefit them.  But we cannot cause other people to change, for adults must make that decision for themselves.  And then make the effort that will lead to the changes they are seeking.  No one else can do that for them.

In my work as a crisis line counselor, I sometimes receive calls from people expressing sadness and/or frustration with their spouse or partner, saying how they wish that person would change, and wondering what they can do to cause their spouse or partner to change.  It’s hard to accept that we can’t change others.  What we can do is to try to be understanding and open-minded, and perhaps try to have a conversation with that person about our concerns.

As far as improving ourselves, all of us have areas that need improvement.  If we don’t recognize that, we’re not being honest with ourselves.  One of those areas for many of us has to do with our physical health:  eating nutritiously, exercising, having a healthy weight, getting sufficient sleep, and stopping smoking or using drugs.  Improvement in these areas not only decreases our chance of becoming seriously ill, but also improves our emotional and mental health.

Other ways we can make changes that will benefit ourselves and others are by becoming better listeners; starting or increasing the ways we try to help our environment by recycling, composting, and being aware of when we’re wasting energy; and having gratitude for all that is good in our lives, noticing those things we take for granted and instead recognizing how fortunate we are.

So as we try to make improvements in ourselves, we need to remember to take things a step at a time and be patient with ourselves.  To use Huxley’s words, work on that “one corner of the universe” who is you.