Month: May 2019

“Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance. Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us. Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy. The root of joy is gratefulness.” These words were written by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, psychologist, and author. When I read them, I immediately related to what Brother David is expressing.

Many things can make us feel happy. Spending time with people we care about, doing work we enjoy, having something positive happen that we hadn’t anticipated, and volunteering for a cause we care about are a few of the many activities or experiences that can add to our feelings of happiness.

Brother David’s words “The root of joy is gratefulness” especially resonate with me. It is important to remind ourselves often of all that we have been given and for which we should be thankful. It only takes reading a headline or two to realize how blessed we are. We are thankful for the times when we are content and have a sense of well-being. But we also need to be thankful for the more difficult and challenging times, because those experiences and how we approach them help us to grow as individuals, to become more empathic, courageous, and caring. In fact, I have found that reminding myself that there is a reason I am being faced with a challenge—even if that reason isn’t clear at the time—helps me to take the steps to deal with the challenge.

By being genuinely grateful, we open our hearts to joy, “that extraordinary happiness” of which Brother David writes. We cannot make joy happen—it is pure gift. Being thankful for our blessings and not taking them for granted help to prepare us to receive the gift of joy.

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” I smiled when I read this quote by poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou. I can certainly say the same about myself, and I believe every one of us, no matter our age, life experience, or education, always has more to learn. It’s important that we recognize this truth in order to live life more fully and to have a healthy degree of humility.

There are some people who are not open to learning because they think they have all the answers already. It’s too bad for them because they limit themselves by being that way. They miss out on those moments of discovery and clarity that being open to new ideas makes possible. Many of them also limit the possibility of having close relationships because it’s difficult to be with people who are that egotistic.

One way we learn is by reading well written books, both fiction and nonfiction. We as readers can find out more about certain topics and aspects of life by reading nonfiction, and we can vicariously live thoughts and actions of characters in fiction works. Those characters can model integrity, courage, sacrifice, and love, among many other qualities. I recently read an article about research studies that have found reading to be one of the most effective activities we can do to keep our brains healthy. Although I believe there’s a place for entertainment, it concerns me that, because of what modern technology makes available to us, many people no longer read but instead watch videos and play games during their free time.

We also learn from life experiences, such as dealing with challenges. We learn from our interactions with others and by simply noticing what is going on around us. And, as I have written in many of my posts, we learn from the symbolism and stories of our dreams, from synchronicities, and from intuitive promptings. These happenings broaden our minds and touch our hearts if we are open to what they can teach us.