Month: November 2024

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”

This quote is by Jack Kornfield, a writer and teacher of American Theravada Buddhism and mindfulness meditation.

Compassion is one of the most valuable qualities we can possess.  Whenever we have encountered people in our lives who have treated us with compassion, we have been very fortunate.  We have also been fortunate if we have been among people who show compassion for others, for their example has helped us to be more compassionate toward others as well.

As those of you who have read my posts know, I emphasize the importance of trying to follow our individual spiritual paths.  I have also written about how learning about the concepts of Jungian psychology has helped me and many others in our efforts to do that.  Noticing and trying to discern the possible meanings of synchronicities, writing down and contemplating our dreams, being watchful of when projection might have occurred and trying to ascertain what it might be telling us about ourselves—these are some of the many ways the findings of Carl Jung and the writings of others about Jungian psychology have assisted us.

By endeavoring to follow our individual paths, we are better able to become aware of the importance of caring about and helping others, for becoming more whole is not just for our own spiritual and emotional wellbeing.  Through inner work, we are also given direction to the ways that we are to help other people during our earthly journeys.  And it is essential that the way we treat others is also how we treat ourselves.  For as Kornfield says, compassion is not complete if it does not also include having compassion for ourselves.  This includes forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes, encouraging ourselves as we try to correct those mistakes, if possible, and also to learn from them, comforting ourselves when we are grieving or experiencing other difficulties, and being patient with ourselves.

So the next time you find yourself being hard on yourself or in other ways not being compassionate toward yourself, recall Jack Kornfield’s words.  I know I will be keeping them in mind.

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, feed just one.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to helping people in need.  She and others who worked in the charitable organizations she founded helped people who were living in poverty, provided care to people dying from terminal illnesses, and in many other ways treated people in need with dignity.

I appreciate Mother Teresa’s words because they are another way of expressing the truth that every effort we make to do what is right and good has value.  When that includes feeding the hungry, that certainly has value.  But I think of Mother Teresa’s use of the word “feed” as having a more expansive meaning, of referring to giving in many contexts:  having compassion, treating people with respect, being patient, assisting others, treating people fairly, being generous.

Whenever we act in a caring way toward others, it matters.  Sometimes that will be with just one person, at other times more.  Similarly, whenever we put effort into working on a task or project that has the purpose of helping others in some way, that has value too—whether it benefits many people or just one.

Endeavoring to follow our spiritual path helps us to discern the ways that we can do what we were created to do.  And keeping in mind Mother Teresa’s words of wisdom, which are based on loving kindness for others, will help us to follow our path.

“Agape love is . . . profound concern for the well-being of another, without any desire to control that other, to be thanked by that other, or to enjoy the process.”

This quote is by Madeleine L’Engle, a well-known author of works of adult and young adult fiction, nonfiction, and poetry.

I’ve written about agape love in some of my other posts, and of how it is a love that includes a sincere concern for the well-being of others, including people we have never met, not wanting to control others, and not expecting to be thanked for what we do.  And that whatever we do as a result of our having agape love has the intention of benefiting people in some way.  But L’Engle’s additional aspect that the person who has agape love might not necessarily enjoy the process is an aspect I had not seen referred to before.  And yet I can see where that would fit many situations.

Agape love is manifested by our concern for others that leads to our giving of our abilities, time, and energy to help other people.  Just three of numerous examples are volunteering to work at a food shelf, spending time with and reading to elderly people who live in assisted living facilities, and helping our neighbors to do a project.  These examples very likely would include some enjoyment for ourselves when doing them.  But there are times when we might feel tired or be extra busy on the days we’ve made the commitment to do these things and we would prefer to stay home; at those times we don’t enjoy the process (to use L’Engle’s word) as well as at other times.

And then I think about agape love in the form of social movements.  Many people in the past gave not only of their time and energy but also put themselves in danger to work toward making other people’s lives better.  People who helped slaves escape via the Underground Railroad, those who gave refuge to Jewish people in Nazi Germany, everyone who participated in the civil rights movement—these are just a few of the many examples.  The women, men, and children who did these things had great courage and perseverance as well as love.  And as a result of their heroic efforts, they helped individuals at the time and also helped bring about changes that have improved the lives of many people since.

And certainly there continue to be many causes where agape love is the basis for people’s efforts—social justice; affordable housing, healthcare, child care, and educational opportunities; safety for people being abused; climate change initiatives; and many other causes.  Thankfully, people are using their abilities to further bring about change that will improve the lives of women, men, and children now and in the future.

I also find myself thinking about how writers of quality fiction and nonfiction have agape love as at least part of their motivation for writing.  Those of us who read such books have experienced how writers enrich our lives.  Through their works they are able to reach many people, adding to our knowledge, expanding our life experience, and giving us enjoyment.  I respect writers for their creativity and skill, and also for their self-discipline and work ethic.

As each of us tries to grow in consciousness and to follow our individual paths, we need to endeavor to discern what it is that we are called to do.  And then have agape love for others as we take the steps to try to do what we have discerned.  What we are called to do is rarely easy and will include times when it will not be enjoyable—that’s true of the individuation process in general.  And yet by following our path we will live a meaningful life, a life of value.