Author: Susan Schulte

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Reading Books

“I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”

This quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Emerson was an American essayist, lecturer, philosopher, minister, abolitionist, and poet who lived in the 1800s.

Emerson’s quote caught my attention because of his choice of words that books have made him.  It’s a unique and effective way of underscoring the importance of reading books and also of choosing which books we read.  For what we read does become a part of who we are—a part of our lived experience. 

For many of us, it can be a challenge to find time to read because of being busy with other responsibilities and priorities.  This can be especially true for working parents who want to spend time with their children when the family is all together, something which is very important for their children as well as for the parents.  It’s also true for the many adults who need to have more than one job in order to earn enough money to pay for basic expenses.

When Emerson wrote the words I’ve quoted, there were far fewer options for ways to spend free time than there are today.  The arrival of television in homes in the late 1940s and early 1950s and more and more people getting into the pattern of watching it took away from reading time.  And for a number of years now PCs, laptops, smart phones, and other electronic devices have made viewing many types of content and playing games readily available, activities that have also decreased or replaced reading books.  Studies have shown that the percentage of the population who read books for enjoyment has noticeably decreased and continues to decrease.

I’m not suggesting that the technological advances that have made much available to us should not be part of how we spend our time.  I do believe (as do many others), however, that it’s important for our well-being to add reading to what we do.  For, depending on what we read, it can add much to how we view our world, it can strengthen our ability to be empathic toward and accepting of others, it can increase our knowledge about past and recent events from which we can learn, and in many other ways reading adds in valuable ways to our lives.  Even reading just a couple pages a day can make a difference.  And for those who have children, reading to them benefits both the children and the parents and can be a special time of togetherness.

I encourage everyone who is not already doing so to add reading books to what you do.  And to experience the many benefits that reading makes possible.

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Fairness and Justice

 “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

This quote is by the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  As one of the well-known leaders of the civil rights movement, he devoted a great deal of his time and energy working toward justice, equal treatment, and equal opportunities for all people.

Unjust actions and policies on a national and international level are the ones we most often hear about.  Those actions and policies have done a great deal of harm to countless people throughout history, including in the present.  These include injustices based on race, ethnicity, gender, age, and religious affiliation.  I’m thankful for the positive changes that have happened in many of these areas, but there is always more that needs to be done to stop the harm that many people must endure.

We don’t hear as much about injustices that individuals do to each other, which of course are also wrong.  Emotionally and physically abusive behavior and bullying are some of the harsher forms of injustice that occur on an individual level.  Being unfair, judging others, and even gossiping also fit within what Dr. King refers to as injustice anywhere.  When I say “even gossiping,” it’s because too many people don’t consider gossiping to be harmful.  On the contrary, people who are talked about negatively are definitely harmed.  Frequently people who gossip about others say things that they don’t know the full picture about and that often are not based on fact.  And many times people who have heard the gossip start avoiding the person spoken about or treating them negatively in other ways. 

Bullying, emotional abuse, unfairness, judging others, and gossip also happen far too often on the internet.  There is so much information on the internet that is fact-based and useful, but there is also much misinformation, disinformation, and content that has the purpose of hurting others.  I believe that these are also threats to justice, to use Dr. King’s words.

It’s essential for all of us to take care to question whether we are being unjust in any way, including by being unfair or judgmental.  It’s also important that we help our children and grandchildren by modeling fairness and acceptance.  In that way, we will help them to develop the virtues of being fair and just, leading to a better future for themselves and for the people with whom they interact.

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Being Thankful

I recently visited my daughter, son-in-law, and three-year-old grandson.  It was a lovely summer day.  The sky was blue with some wispy white clouds, it was around 70 degrees, and there was a breeze.  A perfect day to be outside.

While my grandson was taking a nap, I took a brisk walk on the trails in the large park near where they live.  The park has grassy areas, many trees and bushes, and a lake where I saw ducks and geese swimming.  I enjoyed listening to the sounds they made as well as to the birdsong of the many other smaller birds flying about.

My walk in the park reminded me of the many things for which I am thankful.  Being among the trees and other vegetation that are not only pretty to look at but that also produce oxygen that is essential to life, having the ability to walk at a pace that contributes to my health and is refreshing, having the time to take a break from life’s obligations, feeling at peace as I walked along, and just in general being able to take in the loveliness of the day.

After my walk I again spent time with my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson, and I was reminded of additional things for which I am thankful.  For the caring, fun, and supportive relationship we have with each other, for the many enjoyable visits we have, for being able to watch my grandson as he grows and adds to what he’s able to do, and for loving them and for being loved by them.

It can be easy to take such blessings for granted.  But we must be watchful that we don’t and that instead we take a moment each day to thank our Creator for the special people in our lives, for positive experiences, and for the many other gifts we’ve been given.

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Music Refreshes the Soul

“Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”

This quote is by Berthold Auerbach, who was a German poet and writer who lived in the 1800s.

One of my friends and I have season tickets to the performances of a musical group based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, called Cantus.  There are eight men vocalists who make up the group, and they are both very talented in their singing ability and also have a stage presence that adds to the excellence of their programs.  They often sing a capella but sometimes they have instrumentalists accompany them, and they too are very talented.  My friend and I went to one of their performances recently, which reminded me once again of how special music is in our world.  That specialness is reflected in Auerbach’s words.

Whenever I’ve gone to a live performance, whether it was musicians singing or musicians playing instruments, I’ve been impressed by and appreciative of the performers.  They have worked hard to develop their skills, from the music lessons that for most of them started when they were young children to the many rehearsals they do to prepare for each performance.  At today’s program and at others I’ve gone to, the applause of the people in the audience made it clear that they were appreciative as well.  For them and for my friend and for me, it was an hour and a half mini-vacation from our everyday lives.

And of course it’s not just the music performed by professional musicians that is special.  There are many celebrations by various cultures where music is central to those celebrations, and they often include dancing and the performers wearing colorful traditional costumes.  Also, most elementary schools and high schools have choral, band, and/or orchestra concerts that students present that are very enjoyable.  And how fun it is to hear little children sing just for the joy of it.  Recently, my three-year-old grandson entertained me with his rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

We are also fortunate that music of all genres is readily available to us from many sources, including our smart phones.

I’m thankful for many things, including for the gift of music in our world.

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Being Hopeful

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”

This quote is by Barack Obama, who was President of the United States from 2009 to 2017. He continues to be involved in important work, including speaking about preserving our democracy, as well as being involved in philanthropy, writing, and making documentaries.  I consider him to have been one of the most effective Presidents during my lifetime.

This quotation resonates with me because of its emphasis on the importance of our endeavoring to add to that which is hopeful in our world.  When we’re feeling down, it can be hard to find the motivation to, as Obama says, “get up and do something”; it can be hard even to have an idea of what to do.  Asking for guidance through prayer and trying to listen to our inner voice can help.

Once we have an idea of what we might do to “go out and make some things happen,” as Obama says, we need to remember to not put unreasonable expectations on ourselves and to take things a step at a time.  Even those beginning steps can result in our feeling more vital and therefore more hopeful.

It can help us to have a sense of purpose by becoming involved in causes we believe in and by assisting others through various organizations such as food shelves, children’s tutoring programs, and other types of volunteering.  It’s easy to search online to learn about volunteer opportunities in the communities where we live.  I believe we can also decrease the tendency for feeling hopeless by the choices we make for how we spend our free time, such as by finding and pursuing personal interests that are meaningful to us, reading well written books, and spending time in nature, all of which can lift our spirits and thus help us to be more hopeful.

Another way we can help ourselves feel more hopeful is to limit the amount of news we read or watch.  It’s one thing to be adequately informed; it’s another to read about or watch repeated coverage of the same happenings.  This repetition tends to multiply the negative effects news has on us emotionally.  Therapists frequently recommend limiting exposure to news to their clients who struggle with depression and/or anxiety.

My hope is that all of us take Obama’s words to heart and find and pursue ways that add hope to our world.

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Having the “Why” to Live

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

This quote is by Viktor Frankl from his book Man’s Search for Meaning.  A few weeks ago I wrote a post based on another quotation from the same book. If you haven’t read Man’s Search for Meaning, I encourage you to do so.

I believe that keeping Frankl’s words in mind can help us through any difficulties we encounter.  And knowing that these are the words of a man who survived being in concentration camps for three years where there was not only the psychological burden of  being imprisoned, but also forced labor, minimal food or warmth, seeing others die, and being beaten by guards further supports that it is possible to persevere despite horrendous circumstances.

I think about people I know who have serious illnesses and who, even though recognizing that the treatments for the illnesses might not cure them, continue to do what is needed, including experiencing painful side effects.  I think about people who are grieving–missing loved ones who have passed away, feeling alone after a spouse or partner chose to leave them, or missing the job they liked that was ended because of downsizing.  I think of people who had hoped to fall in love and have a committed relationship but that hasn’t happened for them.  For all of them and for all of us, that something that keeps us striving is the “why” of living.  And the “why” of living certainly includes those aspects of each of our lives that give it meaning.

I find Frankl’s words helpful to recall for less “life changing” experiences as well.  When I’m feeling down, I remind myself that it’s human to have various feelings, and I also remind myself of those things that make my life meaningful.  Those reminders can help us often, such as when we’re feeling lonely or disappointed or are having a bout of illness.

Although our world has many bad and wrong things about it, including that which Frankl and numerous others experienced in concentration camps, I’m thankful for the many good and right things that also exist in our world.  They include the positive actions and words of many people, organizations that provide help to people, and ethical and just causes. The good and right things are what make up a large part of that which gives us our “why” to live.

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Having a Sense of Purpose

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, a woman who, although becoming both deaf and blind when she was very young, learned to speak, read, and write and became a well-known author, presenter, and philanthropist.

Keller’s words emphasize the importance of having a sense of purpose.  In addition to it leading to true happiness, as she says, I would add that it also leads to a sense of peace and to a more meaningful life.  As I contemplate Keller’s words, I believe that what she calls true happiness refers to a genuine, deep happiness that is based on something of value, as compared to the more light-hearted happiness that we experience from time to time. 

Keller also stresses that self-gratification does not lead to true happiness.  Keller lived from 1880 to 1968 and therefore she wasn’t as surrounded by the media and advertising as we are today.  Many aspects of our culture, media, the internet, and advertising encourage us to prioritize obtaining items and having experiences that we want, suggesting that that is what causes us to be happy.  However, many people have found through personal experience that being able to have many material possessions may initially make them feel happy, but it is a transient happiness, not a true happiness. And they feel an emptiness as a result.  Thankfully, this experience helps many women and men to realize the importance of finding purpose in their lives.

There are many ways that we can experience a sense of purpose.  Some are by helping others by sharing our time and abilities with them; doing our best to be good parents and grandparents; and contributing financially to and/or volunteering at organizations that support valuable causes.

Having a sense of purpose is vital to living life well.  Trying to discern those things our Creator wants us to do and then trying our best to act upon what we discern lead us to those “worthy purposes” to which Keller refers.

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Courage, Not Conformity

“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”

This quote is by Rollo May, who was an American existential psychologist who lived from 1909 to 1994.

What often comes to mind when people think about courage are those heroic acts done by women and men that we learn about through the media:  people helping others at great risk to themselves, such as rescuing someone who is in a life-threatening situation.  I’m very thankful for and impressed by people who have the courage to help others in this way.

It also takes courage to face challenges that life presents to us in our personal lives, such as addressing relationship issues, making major decisions that impact our life and others’ lives, being assertive when it’s uncomfortable but necessary, getting help and making the effort to overcome an addiction, and dealing with many other types of difficulties.

And courage is also needed to endeavor to be the unique person each of us was created to be.  Among other things, this requires us to resist conforming to societal pressures because of fears that we won’t be accepted unless we do.  This is the conformity to which Rollo May refers, and he emphasizes that conformity is a common problem in our society.

Although May wasn’t a Jungian psychologist, his words reflect an essential aspect of Jungian psychological theory called individuation.  Individuation is the opposite of conformity.  Individuation is the inner process where we grow in consciousness and become more whole and unique persons.  We do this by endeavoring to discern and then to integrate contents from our unconscious into our consciousness.  And this type of personal growth also happens as we face difficulties and do our best to deal with them rather than fearing and running from them.  The process of individuation requires us to be brave, but as we become more individuated, we also grow in courage that helps us to deal with future challenges.  In addition, it enables us to be more generous, more helpful to others, more humble, and to acquire other positive qualities.

I encourage all of us to be watchful of our tendency toward conformity and instead to be our unique selves.

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A Light of Meaning

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.”

This quote by Carl Gustav Jung is from his memoir Memories, Dreams, Reflections.  Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist who lived from 1875 to 1961.  He founded the school of analytical psychology, and he wrote many books and articles about various aspects of it.  Foundational to his psychological theory were his extensive clinical work with clients and his own inner work.  He was also knowledgeable about a great many cultures, and that knowledge along with his travels to many areas of the world contributed to his understanding of the human psyche. 

Jungian theory emphasizes integrating unconscious contents into consciousness which leads to better self-understanding, personal growth, and what Jung termed individuation.  Individuation can be defined as the process of growing in consciousness and becoming more whole, thereby becoming the unique person each of us was created to be.  Some of the ways unconscious contents become part of our consciousness are by working with our dreams to try to understand their guidance for us, endeavoring to recognize when projection has occurred and learning about ourselves when it does, and discerning possible meanings of synchronicities.

According to Jungian dream theory, the persons who appear in our dreams symbolize aspects of ourselves.  When people who we know appear in our dreams, it is helpful to identify our associations to those people and then to see how those associations apply to ourselves.  For example, when I had a dream where a politician who I do not respect appeared, I was reminded that I need to be more open-minded and selfless—two qualities that the politician clearly doesn’t have and two areas where I needed to improve.  Identifying associations is just one of many ways that dreamwork helps us to incorporate information from our unconscious.

Projection occurs when we attribute to another person or group qualities and/or characteristics that are a reflection of something about ourselves of which we are not aware.  Racial and other types of prejudice are often the result of projection. Projection is not something we do consciously and therefore we cannot cause it to happen.  But we can become better at recognizing when it has happened and then learn from it.  An example from my life is when I had an attraction to a coworker who was intelligent and self-confident.  I automatically attributed many positive qualities to him even though I didn’t know him well.  When I later learned about projection, I realized that through the projections my unconscious was helping me to see that I had accomplished things that were a basis for having more confidence in myself.  Being reassured of this helped me to be less fearful of failure which had been holding me back from starting a new endeavor.

Synchronicities are meaningful, acausal occurrences; in other words, two things happen, neither causing the other, but those two things occurring lead to thoughts that are meaningful for us.  One of the times I recognized a synchronicity was when in one day I had difficultly opening three doors in three different buildings that usually opened without a problem.  I needed to pull one of the doors very hard for it to open, one scraped the floor as I opened it, and the other had a sign on it directing people to use a different entrance while repairs were being made.  I had been feeling some “stuckness” in my inner work, and this synchronicity helped me to recognize that I had been making excuses for myself and helped me to move forward—a door opening certainly symbolizes “moving forward”!

Jung stresses how vital it is that we have meaning in our lives when he says it’s the sole purpose of our existence and that without meaning we only exist.  Only existing is a very limited way of living.

Having a sense of meaning is essential to living life fully.  The people whose words I have quoted in the other posts I’ve written reflect various aspects of living a meaningful life.  Whether their words are about having courage, making sacrifices, growing in faith, acting with integrity, helping others, or appreciating nature–all of these and many other attributes add meaning to our lives.  And growing in consciousness kindles a light of meaning, to use Jung’s words, that helps us to develop these and many other positive qualities.

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Living Life Deeply

“It is not the length of life, but the depth.” 

This quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Emerson was an American essayist, lecturer, philosopher, minister, abolitionist, and poet who lived in the 1800s.

There are many people who live long lives, often living many years beyond the average age of death in the part of the world where they live.  A lot of older people’s ability to do tasks and activities and to live independently continues well into their older years, and many have been blessed with good physical and mental health.  I am one of those fortunate people.

And yet, as Emerson says, it is the depth of our lives—how we live our lives—that matters more than the number of years we live.  When based on ethical principles and integrity, our priorities and our approach to life give our existence value.  When they include caring about others and not just ourselves, adding to that which is good and right in this world through our words and actions, being thankful for our blessings—these are the thoughts that come to mind when Emerson speaks of the depth of living.  Endeavoring to live in this way also leads to having a meaningful life. 

To live life deeply can be experienced in many ways:  in the way we treat others, by not judging others, by being generous with our time, talents, and abilities, and by putting effort into doing the things we are called to do.  Living in a meaningful way can and does take place for many people who act genuinely and with humility.  Acknowledging that all of our abilities and the positive opportunities that come our way are gifts from our Creator helps us to be humble—a quality that is essential to living deeply.

I encourage all of us to do those things that add depth to our lives.  It takes effort, but the effort is well worth it.