Category: dreams

“Dreams are primarily about the dreamer.”

This quote is from John A. Sanford’s excellent book Dreams-God’s Forgotten Language.  Dr. Sanford was a Jungian analyst, Episcopal priest, writer, and speaker.  He wrote several books about Jungian psychology and related topics, and he had the gift of presenting C.G. Jung’s findings and insights in a clear and understandable way.

A primary concept of Jungian psychology is that dreams make it possible for information from the unconscious to become conscious.  One of the ways to try to discern what our dreams might be telling us is through our associations to the people and places that appear in our dreams.  When Sanford says “dreams are primarily about the dreamer,” he is referring to this.

If a person who appears in our dream is someone we recognize from physical reality, the dream is rarely about that person.  I say “rarely” because, according to dream research, there are exceptions to this.  However, the great majority of the time dream figures represent aspects of the dreamer.  That person symbolizes certain qualities or characteristics that we associate with her or him.  If, for example, a characteristic we associate to that person is selfishness, it is likely our unconscious is telling us through the imagery of the dream to recognize areas where we tend to be selfish.  Perhaps we hadn’t noticed this about ourselves, and our dream brings it to our awareness so that we can make positive changes.

Here are examples of learning from associations to dream figures from my own work with dreams.  I dreamed that I was attending a speech being given by a well known public figure.  In outer reality, his words and actions made it clear that he was lacking in empathy, dishonest, power hungry, self-centered, and in many other ways someone for whom I had no respect.  Those were my associations to him.  Then I needed to ask myself what might have been the purpose of the unconscious having him appear in my dream.  One possible answer was to remind me that all human beings, including me, have a dark side.  It’s important that we recognize this because it helps us to have humility.  The dream also caused me to look within myself to see where my negative associations to him were reflected in my attitudes and/or behavior.

In another dream, I was married to a different well known public figure.  Based on what I had read about him, speeches I’d heard him give, and having read two of his books, my associations to him were positive:  He exemplified integrity, was honest, was open-minded, acknowledged when he made mistakes, and had other qualities that I value.  This dream figure symbolized the positive aspects of my psyche, and it was a reassuring dream.

I encourage you to write down your dreams, to contemplate them, and to endeavor to discern what they might be trying to tell you.  For they help each of us to make positive changes and to grow in consciousness and through that to have more meaningful lives.

“Our dreams serve our psychic totality, and seek to bring the ego into relationship with the psychic center in order that our totality may be consciously known and lived.”

This quote is by John A. Sanford from his book Dreams-God’s Forgotten Language.  Dr. Sanford was a Jungian analyst, Episcopal priest, writer, and speaker.  His books have been of great help to me, and I recommend them to you.  In addition to Dreams-God’s Forgotten Language, some of his other books are Healing and Wholeness, Dreams and Healing, The Kingdom Within, and The Strange Trial of Mr. Hyde.

As I have written in some of my other posts, I’m very thankful I learned about Jungian psychology many years ago.  I met with a Jungian psychotherapist for assistance in dealing with some difficulties I was experiencing, and that led to my becoming familiar with Jungian concepts. C.G. Jung’s findings based on his psychological work with numerous clients over many years, his reading, his travels, and also based on his own individual life experience have helped many people, including me, to have a better understanding of themselves, to be more tolerant of differences between themselves and others, to grow in consciousness, and to have a sense of purpose and meaning.

Among Jung’s findings is that our dreams play a vital role in our lives.  Therefore, when I started my therapeutic work, I also started writing down my dreams in a journal.  According to Jungian theory, the source of our dreams is our unconscious, and one of the purposes of dreams is to make available to us information from the unconscious which then is integrated into our consciousness.  This is what Sanford is referring to when he says “to bring the ego into relationship with the psychic center.”  By becoming more conscious as a result of this help from our dreams, emotional healing takes place and we become more whole.

The messages of dreams vary greatly.  For example, sometimes dreams help us to realize that we’re heading in the wrong direction, and other times they give a sense that we’re on the right path.

And sometimes dreams give us a sense of hope.  I experienced this a couple months ago when I was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Even though I knew intellectually that by taking the antibiotic I was prescribed, getting sufficient sleep, and in other ways taking care of myself, the illness would run its course.  And yet, even knowing that, I had a tendency to wonder if I would ever feel well again and in general be able to return to my “normal” life.

During the time that I was ill, I had dreams showing young children dancing, some women and I volunteering at a food donation program, and a young man and woman from a different era and culture from mine who were in love, had been kept apart, but were finally able to be together and to marry.  These dreams were comforting because it was as if they were given to me to remind me that I would be well again.  They did this by portraying through their stories and symbols youthful energy, being active and helping others, and a loving and committed relationship.  Each one, although very different in their stories and characters, portrayed positive happenings and through that a sense of hope.  It’s as if the dreams were saying in their various ways about my illness and related isolation that this too will pass.  And the illness and aloneness did pass, and I’m thankful to be healthy again and to be able to do the things that I care about and that add meaning to my life.

For those who are reading this post who are not already recording their dreams, I encourage you to begin to do so.  In this way, you will honor the dreams given to you.

“Dreams are like letters from God.  Isn’t it time you answered your mail?”

This quote is by Marie-Louise von Franz who was a Jungian analyst and the author of several books about analytical psychology.  She also collaborated with Carl Jung for many years.

Until I was in my mid-30s I didn’t think much about dreams.  If I remembered a dream in which something unusual happened or that in some other way caught my attention, l would wonder briefly why a dream like that might occur, but that would be the extent of my interest.  It wasn’t until I began therapy with a Jungian psychotherapist who I had sought out because I was struggling with some difficulties going on in my life that I learned that dreams have meaning.  In addition to my therapist and me talking about my dreams during our sessions, I started reading books about Jungian dream theory.  Most of the books I read were written by Jungian analysts who had years of experience meeting with clients and therefore who had heard thousands of dreams.  Hearing those dreams and discussing them with their clients enabled them to confirm Carl Jung’s writings about dreams and to expand upon his findings.

I have paid attention to my dreams ever since, including recording them in my journal.  Writing down one’s dreams is an important part of the process.  I also make note of any associations I have to people and places that appear in my dreams and of any other thoughts I have about each dream.  Jungian dream theory propounds that when people with whom we are familiar appear in our dreams, the great majority of the time the dreams are not about those people.  Instead, the people represent aspects of ourselves.  For example, a politician appeared in one of my dreams who has said and done things that make it clear he is egotistical, dishonest, and lacking in empathy and integrity.  Having learned that people who appear in dreams often symbolize aspects of the dreamer, I was at first disheartened that he was in my dream because of my negative associations to him.  But I also realized that my dream was reminding me that I too have a degree of those traits and to be watchful of them.  The dream was also a reminder that we all have dark aspects even though we don’t necessarily like to be reminded of them.

I’ve also had dreams in which people appeared who symbolize positive qualities, including creativity, generosity, empathy, courage, and respect for others.  When a person appears in my dream to whom I have positive associations, I’m reassured that I too have some degree of the qualities symbolized by that person.

So I appreciate von Franz’s creative description of dreams as being letters from God.  Just as it is important to read letters we receive, it is important to write down our dreams, contemplate them, and be thankful for them.  And I also appreciate her reminder to us to answer our mail.  In other words, to do our best to discern the possible messages and guidance of our dreams and then to integrate those messages and guidance into our daily living.

I had a dream recently that shows how dreams address issues that are occurring in the present with the intention of adding to our consciousness and through that helping us to better approach those issues.  It’s also a dream whose messages seemed clearer to me than those of other dreams I’ve had, messages presented by the dream’s symbolic imagery and actions.  Here is my dream:

I’m driving my car and I realize my brakes are no longer working.  Thankfully, I’m driving slowly and I’m able to park the car against a curb.  Just before I make a call to have my car towed to where I usually have it serviced, I see there’s an auto repair shop right near where I happened to park.  I go into the repair shop and approach a man and a woman who are standing behind a counter.  As I begin telling them the situation and asking whether they can fix the brakes, the man looks at the woman, who is younger than he is, and tells her to tell me how long she has worked there.  It turns out she is his daughter and is also a mechanic, and it’s as if he wants me to ask her about doing the job instead of asking him, perhaps so that I’m reassured of her ability to make the repairs.  I woke up at that point.

I had this dream at a time when I was feeling some anxiety about some changes at my job.  I found myself thinking about scenarios that might happen as a result of those changes, including my being so busy I’d have difficulty keeping up with the work.  When I found myself doing this, I would remind myself that my concerns about the changes might not have a basis, that I would need to see how things went and then address any problems, and that I should make an effort to focus on what was happening in the present.  I would do that but before long the concerning thoughts would return.

Dreams often have layers of meaning.  At one level, I think the symbolism of the brakes not working might have been the dream’s message to me that I needed to “put the brakes on” my negative and somewhat obsessive thinking.  We can’t control the thoughts that come to us, but we can decide how to deal with them in a healthy way.  And I have to admit that, even though I would remind myself to focus on something that mattered, I would sometimes not make an effort to do that right away.  So I believe a related message of this dream was that I should make a more sincere effort to stop wasting time and energy on the thoughts, and by doing that I would be taking care of myself emotionally.

Another significant part of the dream is that, without at first being aware of it, I had parked my car next to an auto repair shop where there were mechanics who would be able to repair the brakes.  I believe this is a reminder that help is always available to me, help from within.  We can think of that help as being from our psyches, to put it in psychological terms, and/or from our Creator, to put it in religious or spiritual terms.  Another meaningful aspect of the dream was the presence of and emphasis on the female mechanic.  She symbolizes the inner feminine, a supportive inner presence.  I also think the fact that she is a young adult might be a reminder to me to be open to looking at things in a different way from how I usually do, to consider “new” approaches instead of repeating old patterns.

According to Jungian psychological theory, dreams are one way unconscious contents are able to be integrated into consciousness.  Even when symbols and the actions in dreams are more difficult to discern than those of this dream, dreams have a purpose for each of us.  This dream helped me to recognize the importance of taking care of myself by not dwelling on “what if” thinking and was a reminder of the inner help from a source that cares about my wellbeing.  It helped me to be reminded of that.

“The key is not so much to interpret a dream as to appreciate it and befriend it.”

I first learned about the idea that dreams have a purpose when I started therapy with a Jungian psychotherapist.  Writing down the dreams that I remembered and talking about them during our sessions was a part of the therapeutic work.  I also started reading books about how dreams help us to learn more about ourselves; how they reveal information from our unconscious that can then be integrated into consciousness.  Two Jungian authors whose writings have been especially insightful to me are John A. Sanford and Robert Johnson.  The above quote is from Johnson’s book Balancing Heaven and Earth.

Johnson’s statement that it is best to appreciate and befriend dreams rather than to try to interpret them corresponds to my experience doing dream work.  When I remember a dream, I first try to get a sense of its possible meaning by noting my associations to people and places in the dream.  I ask myself what stands out for me about that person and how might that trait apply to me.  If I’m familiar with the setting of a dream, I think about what that place might symbolize for me and pay attention to any feelings it might evoke.  For dreams in which persons and/or places appear who are not familiar to me, I also pay attention to any feelings I have about them as I’m writing down the dream.  When pondering a dream, I also take note of images that frequently symbolize certain concepts or qualities.  The ocean, for example, often symbolizes the unconscious, and dragonflies often symbolize transformation.

There are times when I feel some frustration that I’m not able to discern a dream’s possible meaning.  According to Jungian dream theory, each dream has a purpose and the timing of when we have dreams is significant.  When I cannot get a sense of why I had a certain dream,   I need to remind myself that I must not try to interpret the dream or to expect every dream to have a clear and obvious message.  Instead, I need to “let it be” and accept it as the gift it is, a gift to be appreciated.

Sometimes a day or two after having a dream, a thought will come to me or something will occur that helps to clarify the dream’s message.  Sometimes a dream’s images and story resonate with me quite readily.  And sometimes I never get a sense of a dream’s meaning.  I share these experiences because I don’t want others to be discouraged when that happens to them.  The fact that we put the effort into paying attention to our dreams and knowing they have value is what matters.

It often happens that people who appear in our dreams are people we know—friends, parents, or coworkers, for example.  Other times there are people in our dreams we recognize but whom we haven’t met, examples being celebrities, professional athletes, or politicians.  According to Jungian dream theory, as well as to some other approaches to dream work, the people who appear in our dreams represent aspects of ourselves, and that by identifying our associations to those people we can learn more about ourselves which in turn helps us to grow in consciousness.

If, for example, a friend of mine is in my dream, I might have both positive and negative associations.  Let’s say I have the negative association that my friend tends to be set in her ways.  By her being a character in the dream, the dream reminds me that I need to be watchful of my tendency toward rigidity.  Ideally, my having been given this information will help me to be more aware of how being set in my ways affects what I do, choices I make.  Embracing the dream’s message will help me to be more open to new ideas and approaches.

It’s also common to have dreams that include people we do not recognize and therefore about whom we do not have associations.  An example is this dream I recently had:

I’m at work sitting at my desk. There are many more people in the area where I work than there usually are.  All of the work spaces are occupied and some desks have been added in the hallway for additional staff.  I notice there’s a new employee at one of those desks, so I go over to her and introduce myself.  We smile at each other.  I have a habit of saying Spanish words now and then, such as “muy bien” when asked how I am.  I say a couple of words in Spanish and her eyes brighten and she asks if I speak Spanish.  I say “un poco,” that I used to speak quite fluently but haven’t kept in practice over the years.  It turns out her first language is Spanish, and she also speaks English very well.  My impression is she would enjoy speaking Spanish with me more often, and I like that idea too.

According to Jungian dream theory, each person who appears in our dreams, whether we are familiar with them from outer reality or not, is a part of our psyche.  I believe this dream shows that I have inner support, symbolized by the woman’s enthusiasm at meeting me and her desire to continue to interact with me.  She symbolizes a positive feminine aspect of myself and is a reassuring presence.

I wonder too if speaking Spanish in the dream might be the dream’s way of saying the woman and I speak a similar language, the language of inner work that leads to becoming more conscious.  There’s no way to prove this is the case; it’s based on thoughts that came to me as I was writing the dream.  It’s an intuitive response.  If so, perhaps the dream is also telling me I need to become more proficient in that language by putting more effort into doing inner work.

Dreams always have a purpose.  Sometimes we have dreams that help us to get back on our paths.  Other times, dreams give us the sense that we’re doing OK in general.  Other times they help us to solve a problem.  And other times, they remind us of the inner assistance we have as we travel our individual journeys.  This was one of those dreams, and I’m thankful that I received it.

I recently had a dream that illustrates the way in which dreams bring to our attention aspects of ourselves and by doing so give us the opportunity to recognize changes we can and should make.  Here is my dream:

I have taken a day off from work and for some reason I’m thinking about whether I have the information I need in case I have to go to the office sometime in the future when it is closed, such as on a weekend.  I decide to go to work to ask someone about that, even though I have the day off.  In the dream I live in the small town where I grew up in physical reality, and I work at a law firm that has offices in the building that was the school I attended.  I walk there and go up some stairs and see a coworker sitting at a large round table with several other employees.  I go up to her and she’s surprised I’m there since I took the day off.  I show her a card I have that I think has the access codes on it to enter the building when the office is closed, and I ask her if she knows whether that’s the correct information.  She rolls her eyes that I would come to the office on my day off to ask about this, and she talks about something different instead of answering my question.  It doesn’t seem that she is intentionally avoiding the subject; she just tends to think of things she likes to talk about.  The dream ends at this point, with me waiting for her to answer my question. 

This dream came to me during a period of time when I was having difficulty determining how to approach a problem.  It wasn’t until a few days after having the dream that I had the thought that it might be showing me that I was being immature in how I was thinking about what I should do; that my ideas were more like those I would have had when I was much younger and before I had had more life experience and hopefully had gained some wisdom.  I believe this is symbolized by the setting of the dream being the town where I lived as a child, including the house and the school building.

As I thought about this, I also realized I was responding to the problem as if in obedience to an authority figure, including being concerned that I might be reprimanded if I didn’t respond in a certain way.  This immature approach was also represented by the settings of my youth.  It was further emphasized in the dream by me being employed by a law firm.  Law firms can symbolize following specific rules as compared to other types of work that symbolize flexibility, choice, and creativity.

The presence of my coworker in the dream is also significant.  She represents the part of me who isn’t concerned about always following the rules, who by rolling her eyes makes fun of the overly responsible part of me who would come to work on my day off to find out information I could easily learn the next time I was scheduled to work.  I believe her talking about topics she wanted to talk about rather than answering my question is the dream reminding me to be careful about being rigid in the choices I make.

Having this dream and contemplating its possible messages helped me to change how I approached the problem.  Often after learning from a dream I wonder why I hadn’t thought of the things the dream pointed out without its assistance.  I guess that shows how limited I and others can be in our thinking and also how lacking in our ability to find creative solutions to problems.  This dream helped me look at the problem differently and to consider other ways of dealing with it.  In addition, it showed me aspects of myself of which I need to be aware so that they don’t limit me in future situations.

Among the many ways that our dreams are beneficial to us is that they bring to our attention qualities that have the potential of becoming part of our personality.  The images and symbols of our dreams bring to consciousness aspects of ourselves that were previously unconscious, making it possible for us to try to integrate what our dreams make known to us.  I recently had the following dream that exemplifies this:

I appear to be in my 40s and have been attending a conference.  There are about 30 people there, including a woman who is younger than I am, perhaps in her early 30s.  She’s wearing a brightly colored dress that has large designs on it and she’s also wearing large earrings.  I, on the other hand, dress more conservatively and I’m wearing a dress with subdued colors and small print.  When I return after lunch break for the afternoon presentations, I have changed clothes and am now wearing a dress the fabric of which is a print that has large designs and bright colors; it is similar to a dress the younger woman would choose.  Although the younger woman and I hadn’t interacted previously, she now comes over to me, tells me she likes my dress, and we walk together.  It’s as if my wearing that dress caused a connection to be made between us.

According to Jungian dream theory, images of people in our dreams represent various aspects of ourselves.  When a person whom we recognize appears in a dream, it can be helpful to think about our associations to that person.  Are our associations to the person positive or negative?  Does something stand out about him or her, such as being helpful or being self-centered?  Irresponsible or perhaps overly responsible?  And so on.  The image of the person in the dream might be someone we know and have interacted with, such as a friend, relative, or coworker, or the person might be someone we haven’t met but with whom we’re familiar, such as a public figure or a celebrity.  Either way, we will have associations to that person.

In this dream, the younger woman is someone I don’t recognize from outer reality.  Therefore, I can make no associations to her based on my personal experience.  Instead, I can pay attention to the qualities about her that are portrayed in the dream.  Unlike myself in the dream, she symbolizes someone who is outgoing and vibrant, qualities that are portrayed symbolically by the clothing and jewelry she is wearing.  The dream shows an obvious contrast between her and me, for I am shown as being more conservative by the clothing I’m wearing which symbolizes a more conservative approach to life in general.  And I do have what could be considered conservative tendencies in the sense that I’m more introverted and quiet than extraverted and outgoing.  I also have learned over the years that I need to watchful of my tendency to be a creature of habit and that I’m sometimes too set in my ways.

By showing that I have changed clothes and am wearing a different, more colorful outfit when I return to the conference, I believe the dream is bringing to my attention that I have the potential of being more open to new ideas.  The actions and images of this dream enable me to consider that a part of me wants to broaden my life experience and the way I look at things, lets me know I am capable of doing that, and encourages me to do that.  Because I had this dream, I will try to be more aware of when I’m too satisfied with my usual routines and I’ll consider and try new approaches.  The fact that the younger woman in the dream compliments my dress and then walks with me adds emphasis to what the dream is showing me.  The fact that this takes place at a conference further adds emphasis to it, because people generally attend conferences to add to their knowledge.

I hope that my sharing my dream and my thoughts about it will help you to better understand dreams you are given and their possible messages to you.

I recently had a dream that I would like to share with you.  Because dreams are so personal, I’m sometimes hesitant to tell them to others.  My thoughts about what the dream might be expressing are also personal.  And yet, the main purpose of my blog is to show the many ways that hope is present in our lives.  People becoming aware that dreams are meaningful is a source of hope.  So here is my dream:

I’m outside looking at the space along the house owned by friends of mine.  It used to have landscape rocks with weeds growing through them.  But now the whole area has healthy green grass growing there.  My friends had done the work of removing the weeds and rocks and then planting the grass seed, resulting in a pretty space both beside the house and continuing into the back yard, which in the dream is larger than it is in physical reality.  I’m going to tell my friends how impressed I am with what they’ve done. 

This is a reassuring dream.  The imagery of the green grass is positive in that it portrays something pretty to see, especially in contrast to how the area looked before.  The grass also is healthy vegetation that adds oxygen to the air and provides food for some insects and animals, thus being a life-giving image.  It seems to me that the fact that the yard in the dream is larger than the yard is in physical reality adds emphasis to these positive images.

Another affirmative aspect of this dream is that I have positive associations to the woman and the man who have done the work to significantly improve their yard.  According to Jungian dream theory, when people who we know appear in our dreams, it is helpful to identify our associations to those people.  I care about and think highly of the two people and therefore recognize their images as representing the positive inner feminine and positive inner masculine of myself.

This dream also suggests that time and effort were required of the couple to transform their yard.  I take this as a message that it’s important that I try my best to do what I’m meant to do, to be watchful of the part of me that sometimes is lazy or uncaring.  And to try my best to follow the guidance I discern to be from my inner voice through dream work, synchronicities, and intuitive promptings.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”  These words by Marcel Proust, a French novelist and essayist, can apply to many aspects of life.  What they bring to mind for me are the discoveries I made about dreams when I started to look at them in a new way.

About 30 years ago some things occurred that led to my decision to seek the assistance of a therapist, and I began meeting with a Jungian psychotherapist.  It was in our work together that I first became aware of the idea that dreams are meaningful and serve a vital purpose.  As is the case with many people, I had previously thought that dreaming was just something that happened sometimes when we are sleeping.  At times I would notice a dream if, for example, people I knew were in the dream or if it depicted a strange story.  But my noticing a dream never led to my being curious about whether there was a reason for my having had that dream.  I also knew that people sometimes had disturbing dreams and nightmares, and I felt fortunate that I didn’t.  But I still thought of dreams as a type of cognitive occurrence that happened randomly and for no particular reason.

It turns out I was totally wrong in these assumptions and that the opposite is true.  Rather than being random, the dreams we have are personal to each one of us.  According to Jungian theory, when we remember dreams we are being given information from our unconscious.  When we record our dreams and try to learn from them, we’re taking steps toward integrating aspects of our unconscious which helps us to become more conscious and whole persons.  It didn’t take long after I started writing down my dreams and learning about what images in a dream might mean that I began to see how personal they were to what was happening in my life.  I learned about how the images of people we know in physical reality who appear in our dreams can symbolize certain characteristics about ourselves, which helps us to understand ourselves better.  I also learned how the various objects and creatures that appear in dreams are symbolic of certain qualities and/or have archetypal meanings, which again add to our having more integrated personalities.

Through their stories, images, and symbols, dreams give us information that leads us toward becoming the persons we were created to be.  They help us to discern what is occurring in our inner lives which in turn helps us to make the right decisions in our outer lives.

I, along with many other people who have been fortunate enough to learn about the significance of dreams and who embrace doing dream work, view dreams with “new eyes.”  The dreams were there all the time.  It was by seeing them in a new way that we discovered them as a source of wisdom and meaning.