Category: dreams

I had a dream recently that I would like to share with you, because it’s such a good example of how dreams use imagery to present their messages. Here is the dream: I live in a small apartment in an older brick building. It has a small kitchen, a bathroom, and a living area where there’s room for a bed and some other furniture. A man I know and his family live in a house a few houses over from where I live. I go there and let myself in; it’s understood I may do that. Their home is spacious and attractive and has large windows so there is much natural light. The man’s wife sees me and greets me. There’s something I need to find in their home and it’s understood I have permission to look for it. Then the man comes in wearing pajamas and a robe and we greet each other. I hadn’t expected to see him, having assumed he had already left to go to work. I find what I was looking for (it’s not stated in the dream what that is). Then their two children who are about five and ten years old join us and we say hi to each other; they too are wearing pajamas and robes. I then say goodbye and go back to my place.

Although Jungian dream theory emphasizes the importance of each person’s own associations to dream images and doesn’t suggest that certain images always have one specific meaning, the image of a residence has often been found to symbolize the dreamer’s ego strength. By ego strength, I mean the ego’s ability and inclination to follow the direction of the self or the inner voice. In my dream it shows me living in a small apartment in an older building, which to me suggests limited ego strength. Dreams bring to consciousness information from the unconscious; they tell us how things are right now. So I believe one message of my dream was to let me know my ego strength was not as strong as it has been at other times, so that I could keep that in mind as I was dealing with situations going on in my life.

The dream also presents the image of another residence: a lovely, spacious, light-filled home where a man and his family live. What stands out, of course, is the contrast between where I live and where this family lives. Their home symbolizes considerable ego strength. In addition, the dream chose as an image a man who I know in physical reality who for me represents qualities that I value, some of which are spirituality, consciousness, courage, and creativity. The fact that the dream also includes the man’s wife and children seems to augment those positive qualities.

The dream also shows a comfortable relationship among us—it being understood I may enter the home without knocking, being greeted by the man’s wife and a little later by the man and then by the children, them wearing pajamas and robes—I see these as positive symbols for me in that they could be suggesting I am growing toward having more of the qualities I value. They are qualities of a person who is individuating, to use Carl Jung’s term. I believe this potential is further implied when the dream says I am looking for and find something in their home. In other words, I am seeking that which matters.

One of the many ways dreams are helpful to us is how they show what is happening “under the surface” in the present, and they also show what is possible going forward. They often use as images people and places to which we can make associations to help us have a sense of what the dream is presenting to us. I hope my sharing my dream and what it means to me will help you as you pay attention to your dreams.

“Our dreams seek to lead us to a kind of inner wholeness. But if we are to truly realize this inner wholeness it must be expressed in our outer life of work, relationships, love and commitment.” These words are from the book Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language by Jungian psychotherapist and Episcopal priest John A. Sanford. Dreams bring to conscious awareness information that helps us to grow toward the inner wholeness of which Sanford writes.

When a person reads about dream work and Jungian concepts, records in a journal his or her dreams and related thoughts and associations to dream images, and meets with a spiritual director or Jungian therapist, it might seem as though only that person benefits. And of course she or he does benefit. But Sanford makes clear that doing dream work and through it becoming a more conscious and whole person results in much more than individual personal growth. For becoming more genuine and grounded persons affects every aspect of our lives. It influences the work we are led to and how we approach that work, the people we know and love as well as all people with whom we interact, and the commitments we make, commitments that are based on direction we discern from our dreams, synchronicities, and other meaningful life experiences.

An example of inner wholeness being expressed in a person’s outer life in the form of work, commitment, and love for others is Sanford’s sharing of his knowledge through his writing. He chose to devote many hours to writing, while also being busy in his professions, first as a priest and then as an analyst, and also while raising a family, so that those of us who read his books will have more meaningful lives. This is true of other writers as well who write about concepts that matter, thereby helping those of us who read their books as we try to follow our paths to wholeness.

Our world is comprised of negative and positive, ugly and beautiful, evil and genuine goodness. By endeavoring to realize inner wholeness, we add to what is positive, beautiful, and good, both for ourselves and for others.

In his book Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language, Jungian analyst and Episcopalian priest John A. Sanford writes: “There lives within us what seems like an unconscious source of wisdom which helps us to see ourselves in a different perspective from what we had before and seems to work toward the healing and wholeness of the personality. This wisdom uses dreams as communications, and it enables us to understand consciously those symbolic messages.”

It wasn’t until I was in my late 30s and met with a Jungian therapist for help during a difficult period in my life that I became aware of dreams having meaning. Before that when I remembered a dream, I didn’t think much about it. Dreams were just something that happened sometimes when a person was sleeping.

Learning about how dreams speak to us through their symbols and stories has been life-transforming for me. Although what a dream is saying is not always clear to me, I honor each one by writing it in my dream journal. Dreams can have various levels of meaning. Sometimes I have an initial sense of a dream’s possible message, and a day or two later a thought will come to me that perhaps the dream meant something in addition to that first impression. And sometimes a different meaning from what I first thought will come to mind. I have learned from reading the writings of Jungian analysts, who have had years of experience doing dream work with their clients, that what I have described is common when trying to discern a dream’s message. Those times when something “comes to mind” or “a thought comes to me” are the times I am most able to hear my inner voice, the source of wisdom of which Sanford writes.

The title Sanford chose for his book is significant. Many dreams appear in both the Old and New Testaments and in sacred literature of other faith traditions. And yet most people, including clergy, do not accept the importance of dreams even as they consider the Bible to be the basis for their religious beliefs. It’s as if people choose which of God’s words they want to believe and decide to ignore the other ways God speaks to us. In so doing, they severely limit their ability to grow toward their Creator-given potential.

I recently had this dream: “I have six dogs of various breeds and sizes, the largest about two feet tall. For some reason that seems logical and routine in the dream, I open the door of a large cupboard and direct three of the dogs to jump up into it, which they do readily as if they’ve done that often, and I close the door. Then I open the lid of the clothes washer which is in the same room as the cupboard and direct the other three dogs to jump into it which they do readily, and I close the lid. I don’t plan to turn the washing machine on; it’s more like using the washer as another enclosed space similar to a cupboard. A little later I leave. When I return home, I gasp, realizing I’d forgotten to let the dogs out of the cupboard and washer before I left and they’ve been there three or four hours. It’s understood they’re usually in those spaces for only a few minutes and then I have them come out of the cupboard and the washer. I quickly open both doors and the dogs jump out and appear to be OK. The last one to get out of the washer gets up more slowly than the other dogs, but he also appears to be OK once he’s out. I’m thankful because I feared they might have been stiff or possibly injured from being in the cramped spaces so long. I’m upset with myself for being so neglectful and I’m thankful that they all appear to be fine.”

Even as I re-read this dream, I felt the feelings I had when I first remembered it and wrote it in my journal—feelings of sadness and disbelief that I as the person in the dream did such a thing. Of course, I didn’t do it in physical reality, but what occurs in dreams seems real and therefore often evokes feelings as if the dreamer did the actions or had the experiences portrayed by dreams.

In trying to understand the reason this dream was given to me, I thought about my associations to dogs, which are positive. I then thought about what I’ve learned dogs often symbolize, two of which are loyalty and being givers of direction, such as how dogs are used to search for lost people by tracking their scent. The message of this dream seemed more readily discernible to me than that of many dreams I’ve had; it was clear my dream was telling me I was neglecting to do something.

What I was neglecting to do, however, wasn’t as clear to me. After spending some time trying to discern that, I decided to let it be and perhaps the message would come to me later. In my reading about Jungian-based dream work and in my own experience, I have learned it’s best not to try to force a meaning from a dream. And a couple of days later a thought came to me of a task I had neglected to do. Because of the personal nature of what I had neglected, I’m choosing not to share it. But I wanted to share this experience as yet another example of how dreams speak to us.

A book I re-read from time to time is Inner Work: Using Dreams & Active Imagination for Personal Growth by Jungian psychotherapist and author Robert A. Johnson. It was published in 1986—more than 30 years ago—but what he writes is timeless.

For example, Dr. Johnson writes: “If dreams only served to affirm our pre-existing opinions and assumptions, they would not contribute to our psychological growth at all. Assume that your dream has come to challenge you, help you grow, wake you up to what you need to learn and where you need to change.” These words reflect what Carl Jung observed in his analysis of thousands of dreams his clients brought to him: that dreams are given to us to help us learn something about ourselves that we don’t already know. They bring previously unconscious content to consciousness.

Even though I believe this about dreams and have experienced the truth of it in my own dream work, I have a tendency sometimes to try to find in a dream what I want to find. Rather, I need to be open to what the dream is trying to tell me, not to what I hope the dream is telling me. Dr. Johnson’s words are a helpful reminder to all of us of how to best approach our dreams.

In his presentation titled “The Eagle’s Flight,” Jungian psychotherapist John Sanford says: “If we follow our dreams, we find that our dreams will correct us, encourage us, let us know when we’ve gotten off the path. Sometimes they will be beautiful dreams out of which we can derive faith and encouragement, and sometimes they will make us very uncomfortable. But they will always tell us the truth. They tell us how it is with us right now.” Sanford bases his comments both on his own dreams and on the dreams his clients shared with him during his many years working as a therapist. My experience since I began paying attention to my dreams many years ago attests to what he says.

I have shared several of my dreams in other posts to show how dreams have been valuable to me, with the hope that readers of my blog will see how their dreams can be valuable to them. A dream that stands out as an example of one that helped me to see I had gotten off my path had the image of a political figure who is bombastic and for whom I have no respect. By using the image of that person, my dream helped me to see that I was making some wrong decisions. Because I, like Sanford, believe dreams always tell us the truth, that dream helped me to take corrective action. An example of an encouraging dream was one that had many cats in it. Cats can symbolize health, and my dream came at a time when it helped me to be reassured that there were positive things occurring at an unconscious level.

Dreams are our primary link to what is happening in our unconscious. When Sanford says “they tell us how it is with us right now,” he is referring to what is happening right now in our unconscious and how that is related to what is happening at a conscious level. By honoring our dreams and trying to be open to what they might be telling us, we can use that information as we endeavor to live in a more genuine and grounded way.

For many years I have kept a journal in which I write my dreams and synchronicities I’ve noted, along with my thoughts about both. Not long ago I experienced a meaningful connection between a synchronistic experience and a dream I had a few weeks after that.

About a month ago, I needed to take my cat to the vet. I was the only person in the waiting room when a woman came into the clinic with her dog which was on a leash. It was a tall, healthy-looking, attractive dog, with a light brown coat. As soon as the dog saw me, it started barking and straining at its leash. I love animals and had never had a dog act that way toward me. In a few minutes my cat was returned to me in her carrier and we left the clinic. The way the dog acted caused me to wonder if there might be meaning in what had occurred. For just as dreams use images of people and animals to symbolize certain traits and to get our attention, so do experiences in outer reality.

One thing that came to mind is that dogs can symbolize giving direction, based on the fact that dogs use their sense of smell to track and find people, other animals, etc. So on one level the incident served to remind me of the importance of trying to discern and trying to follow my inner direction.

About three weeks after that happened I had this dream: I’m standing outside when I see a person walking a tall dog on a leash. The person and the dog are a ways off, I would guess at least 150 feet away. When the dog sees me, he comes running toward me, not in an aggressive way; more like he’s just interested in me as a person standing there. The dog runs fast and it turns out the leash can extend that far. I’m not afraid of him–I’m more intrigued to know why he’s running to me–but I am concerned he’s coming so fast he might knock me down. But the owner is able to cause the dog to slow down as he nears me, and when he’s beside me I pet him and scratch his neck which it is apparent he likes. I learn from the person that this dog is available for adoption. Although I like this dog, I can’t consider adding caring for a pet to my busy schedule right now. Another person walking a dog in the adoption program comes up to us and says that often people will get a large dog and then give the dog up when they realize how much care it needs and the cost of its food, and that is why there are so many large dogs for whom they’re trying to find homes.

As I was remembering and writing down this dream, I was struck by the fact that the dog in the dream looked exactly like the dog at the vet’s. It was also significant to me how differently the two dogs acted toward me, the one in outer reality clearly disliking me and the dog in the dream clearly liking me. I felt like the dream maker, by having the dog in the dream look identical to the dog who had barked at me, did that to bring to my attention the contrasting behavior of the two dogs.

Seeing this symbolism, I believe my hesitation in the dream to adopt the dog reflects the hesitation I sometimes have of listening to and following my inner voice. I believe the dream was emphasizing the importance of my making this dog a part of my life; that is, embracing direction from within. The dog chose me and now I needed to choose him, no matter what objections my ego raises.

For these reasons I decided to write a dream extension; that is, to add to the dream and change how it ended. Here’s what I wrote: Even though I have some concerns about adopting a dog right now, I believe I should adopt this dog. It chose me and there must be a reason for that, even though that reason is not clear yet. So I tell the person I will adopt this dog, and the dog snuggles its snout against my leg as if to let me know he’s happy with my decision.

I felt good after writing the dream extension. It was my way of saying to my inner voice that I’m sorry my ego gets in the way and that I am thankful for the synchronicity and the dream that were given to me. And also that I honor how my inner voice spoke to me through both.

One of several authors who have helped me to better understand Jungian concepts is psychotherapist Mary Ann Mattoon. In the introduction to her book Understanding Dreams, she writes that her principal objective for writing the book was to organize and clarify Carl Jung’s ideas to help people better understand and gain from his findings. It was quite an undertaking because Jung was a prolific writer, writing many volumes stretching over many years. The result of Dr. Mattoon’s work is an informative and insightful guide.

Dr. Mattoon writes: “Dreams express what the ego does not know or understand: inner reality, not as the dreamer would like it to be, but as it is.” When trying to discern what a dream might be saying to us about ourselves, it’s important to keep an open mind and to be receptive to hearing something that our egos might not want to hear. If we’re serious about learning from our dreams, this approach is essential. And I admit that there are times when I need to remind myself of this.

I recently had this dream that demonstrates this principle: I’m in the yard of my home and see some boys in the yard next door. I’ve seen them before; I think two are brothers who live in the neighboring house and the other two boys are their friends. The boys are loud and disruptive and come into my yard. I tell them to stay in their yard, that there’s no reason for them to come into mine. They don’t listen and run around yelling and laughing. I tell them if they don’t leave I’ll call the police, but this threat doesn’t have any effect on them and they’re still in my yard when the dream ends.

Keeping in mind that, according to Jungian theory, the people who populate dreams usually reflect aspects of the dreamer, I need to accept that part of me, as shown by the boys’ behavior, is belligerent, self-centered, and disrespectful. Even though in outer reality I try to be respectful and helpful to others, it’s important that I accept that in “inner reality” that is not always the case. And the message of this dream resonates with me because I recognize that the wishes of my ego are not always in line with the direction given by the Self, to use Jung’s terminology, or by the Creator, to use spiritual terminology. Because my dream showed me that part of me who is insolent and egocentric, I can be watchful of those tendencies as I make choices about what I do each day.

It has been very helpful to me to have learned that dreams give us essential information about ourselves. I say “very helpful” but “life-changing” is more accurate. It was almost 30 years ago that I began meeting with a Jungian psychotherapist, became acquainted with Carl Jung’s theories, and began reading books to augment what I was learning in therapy. Dreams, through their symbols and stories, provide us with information from the unconscious, self-knowledge that becomes integrated with our conscious personalities, making us more aware and more whole persons.

As is true of books and articles about all topics, some are much better than others. As I’ve said in other posts, Jungian psychotherapist John Sanford’s books are excellent. Another Jungian psychotherapist and author whose writing I respect is Robert A. Johnson. Like Sanford, Johnson effectively writes about Jungian ideas, as well as his own and other people’s experiences with dream work. Here’s an excerpt from Johnson’s book Inner Work: “For every symbol in a dream the unconscious is ready to provide the associations that explain the symbol’s meaning. The unconscious contains within itself the references for every symbol that it generates; therefore the symbolic language of the unconscious can be decoded. Our task begins with waking up to the associations that spontaneously flow out of us in response to symbols.”

I recently remembered two dreams that occurred within one day of each other and a friend of mine appeared in both dreams. After recording the dreams in my journal, I thought of my associations to my friend, including what I consider to be her positive qualities and also those aspects of her personality that don’t appeal to me. After doing that, I felt like I understood what the dreams might be telling me about myself. The dream image of my friend was not about her; rather, the dream used her image to symbolically represent certain aspects of my personality that the dream wanted to bring to my attention.

As I said earlier, I worked with a Jungian therapist. I think it can be difficult for a person to do dream work without the assistance, at least initially, of a therapist who has expertise in this area. I highly recommend doing this. It is life-changing.

I’d like to share a dream I had with you: I’m in an office conference room with a lot of other people. The president of the United States is seated at the end of the long conference room table and people are seated all along both sides of the table. Because the chairs are all taken, several more people in the room are standing, including me. The president is speaking in a way that is totally different from how he speaks in physical reality; he has a humble tone. My impression is he has learned he has a serious illness and will live only a few more months, and knowing this has caused the change in him. At the end of his talk, people go up to him and shake his hand or pat him on the shoulder. Because of all the things the president has done and said in the past that make me dislike and not respect him, I don’t go up to him. I’m surprised to see that a friend of mine, who has been very vocal about what a terrible man he is, walks up to him and gives him a kiss on the forehead.

This dream made me think about several things. There is the striking contrast in the personality of the president shown by the way he speaks with humility in the dream compared to the arrogant, bombastic way the president in physical reality speaks. There is another noticeable contrast in the image of my friend who responds to the president in the dream with caring and affection by kissing his forehead compared to her usual disapproval and criticism of him. According to Jungian dream theory, the characters who appear in our dreams symbolize aspects of ourselves. I believe the dream was given to me to remind me that my egocentric part needs to become more humble and the critical part needs to show caring, especially, I think, when the person who was the object of the criticism has changed in a positive way.

The other person who appears in the dream is me. Of the three main characters in the dream, I’m the only one who doesn’t change. My attitude toward the president stays the same even though he has changed, and I’m surprised and disappointed at my friend’s change of attitude toward him. The dream shows me that I have a degree of rigidity and a tendency to make decisions by using only my logical, thinking abilities and not taking into account the promptings of my intuition. It takes humility to try to listen to my inner voice and to believe it will guide me.