Category: MeaningfulExperiences

My elderly mother lives in an assisted living apartment a few miles from where I live. Both she and I are thankful that she didn’t need to leave her home until she was 94. We’re also thankful she has relatively good health for her age. I visit Mom several times a week. I do that because she tells me she enjoys my visits, because I love her, and because it is a priority for me to do what I can to help her have as nice a life as possible. I also believe it helps elderly people to have at least one person whose presence is consistent, a person they can count on.

My mother is well into the winter of life, and I am in the fall of life. When I visit her I see the other people who live on her floor, many of whom have come to recognize me, and we greet each other. Although Mom is the oldest, the others are also in the winter of their lives. Most of them have some degree of memory loss and most need to use walkers. I sometimes think about how 20 to 30 years ago they were the age I am now, they had careers or were homemakers, many had spouses and children, some had pets. Being their ages, they have all naturally experienced loss, including the passing away of a spouse and other loved ones. There have been other losses, too: loss of good health, mobility, clear thinking, decision-making, and independence.

Visiting my mother and seeing the other people where she lives reminds me to appreciate my life, to cherish my good health and the abilities I am blessed to have. It also reminds me to use my time well, to not take it for granted, and to make healthy choices, such as eating nutritious food and exercising to help me stay as healthy as I can be for as long as I can. Time goes by so quickly and the time will come when I will pass from the fall to the winter of life. I pray that I will do so with grace and acceptance of the changes that will come.

As I was driving this morning I noticed how pretty the sky was.  It was medium blue and there were many large white cumulus clouds.  What especially caught my eye were sun rays coming down through the clouds.  It was similar to the image I’ve chosen to accompany this post.  I often look at the sky and take pleasure in seeing its variations:  some days there’s not a cloud in the sky; other times there are clouds of various sizes, shapes, and colors–the very white clouds such as those I saw today, gray rain-filled clouds, black storm clouds with lightning flashing in them, and clouds of different hues caused by the angle of the sun.  And of course there are the beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

Having a connection to nature is often emphasized as being important to people’s well-being, and taking walks, spending time in parks, hiking, camping, etc. are encouraged.  I stay busy with many commitments and am not “in nature” very often.  I enjoy seeing the trees, bushes, and flowers in the yards in the area where I live, and also seeing the birds and rabbits and squirrels.  In this way I’m able to take in those nearby aspects of nature.  But noticing the beauty of the sky is probably my most consistent connection to nature.  And I can see its beauty wherever I happen to be, whether I’m waiting for my bus on a busy street corner in the city or taking a walk in a park near my home.

For me, there’s something particularly special about sun rays.  There’s a kind of majesty to them.  When they appear, I think of the majesty and presence of the Creator, the One who created the beauty that I’m seeing.  I also associate the presence of the Creator with the presence of hope.  That was the inspiration for the name of my blog, Ever Present Hope.  And that is also why my main blog image shows pretty sun rays.

In my post titled “Acts of Kindness,” I wrote about people who I did not know going out of their way to be helpful to my elderly mother and me, and how special it is when people act in caring ways toward others.  Recently I saw an example of an act of unkindness, so to speak.  I ride a bus to and from work most days.  I was on the bus when I heard a young man ask the driver if this bus would be going to a certain suburb.  The driver answered “That’s what it says,” referring to the bus number and destination that appear on the front and side of the bus.  The driver’s tone suggested the young man shouldn’t have needed to ask because the answer was obvious.  Actually, the suburb isn’t listed; the name of the bus station is, and the bus station name doesn’t include the suburb name.  But even if that wasn’t the case, was there any reason to respond in that way to the young man?

I’m happy to say that in my experience the majority of bus drivers answer questions in a courteous manner, demonstrating good customer service.  And even though I can think of many actions that are more demeaning and cruel, sometimes those seemingly minor words or actions have a harsher effect than a person might think.  The young man might have been riding the bus for the first time, English might be his second language, he might have gotten on a wrong bus once and wanted to be reassured that he was on the right bus–there are many reasons to ask that simple question of the bus driver.

Treating others as one would like to be treated is a concept that occurs in some form in nearly every religious and ethical tradition.  I believe treating others as we would like to be treated is a goal we should all strive for.

I love my mother dearly.  She is elderly and lives in an assisted living apartment a few miles from my home.  Most Sundays I bring her to my place for an afternoon visit.  She has told me she enjoys the drive and the change from her usual routine and surroundings, and she especially likes to see and pet my cat.  Although my mother is able to walk with a walker, for longer distances we use a wheelchair.  Today as I was pushing the wheelchair toward the front door of the apartment building where I live, there was a mom, dad, and little girl coming out of the building.  When they saw us they made of point of waiting so they could hold the entrance door open for us, and we thanked them.  Then, after our visit when we were leaving to take Mom back to her place, a young man who was outside saw us coming and quickly walked to the door to be there in time to open it for us, and again we said thank you.

It’s special to see and be the recipients of such acts of kindness.  They are day brighteners.  Often we see or read about incidents where people hurt each other, ranging from violent acts to being inconsiderate.  But the thoughtfulness demonstrated by the people today shows that caring for others definitely exists.  I sometimes get frustrated when I’m walking and in a hurry and someone cuts in front of me or people are walking slowly in the middle of the sidewalk looking at their phone instead of staying to the side.  Although some people’s behavior shows them to be selfish and/or impolite, others appear to be oblivious of their surroundings.  In a way, being oblivious is a form of selfishness too.  The helpfulness of the people toward my mother and me today, however, proves that “random acts of kindness” are alive and well, I’m happy to say.

In my post titled “Unlocking Gifts,” I wrote about the synchronicity of a man finding and giving me my car key that I had dropped in the snow and how it symbolized for me the unlocking of my need to write this blog and share what I write.  I would like to share some other synchronistic experiences I have had.  One day my car wouldn’t start, an unusual occurrence I’m happy to say.  This happened during a period of time when I was having trouble being motivated to accomplish some things that I knew I needed to get done.  Again, there is no causal connection but the car not starting symbolized how I was feeling during that time, my low energy.  Even though I was aware I needed to find a way to get at certain tasks, the symbol of the car not starting served as a beneficial reminder.

Here is another synchronicity.  I recently saw that a flower was blooming on a house plant I have had for many years.  It is a peace lily plant that was a gift at my father’s memorial service ten years ago.  It continued to have flowers at first but gradually it stopped blooming.  It’s an attractive house plant without flowers too.  But what a fun and pretty surprise when it bloomed again after not doing so for several years.  And it happened at a time when I was feeling positive about some things happening my life, some times where I felt I was growing personally.

As these examples show, synchronicities can serve valuable purposes in our lives.  The first one reinforced a reminder I needed in order to move forward.  The second seemed to symbolically support some positive things that were happening in my life.