“Have patience with all things. But, first of all with yourself.”
This quote is by Saint Francis de Sales who lived in the 15th and 16th Centuries and was a Catholic prelate and the Bishop of Geneva. He was also known for his writing about religious and spiritual topics.
Patience is one of those qualities that can be hard to come by and, therefore, that we should work at developing. We tend to want to have quick solutions to problems and to complete tasks or projects so they’re off our minds. But the reality is that quick solutions and fast completion of projects are often not possible, and we need to be more accepting of that reality.
There are frequently times when we need to be patient with other people. When we find ourselves having difficulty being patient, it can be helpful to put ourselves in the other person’s place and treat her or him as we would want to be treated. I think about an older person driving more slowly than we think they should but who needs to do that in order to drive safely. Or a store clerk who isn’t checking out our order as fast as we want them to but who might be new at the job. We can never know the full picture of other people’s situations, and they deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt.
Being patient is especially important when dealing with children. We need to keep in mind children’s developmental levels and to not have expectations for them to respond or act in ways that they are not able to until they’ve reached certain developmental levels.
And, as Saint Francis points out, we need to be patient with ourselves. Part of being human is that there will be times when we will make mistakes and have regrets. Thankfully, we can learn from our mistakes and, where possible, address regrets, such as by apologizing to someone we realize we inadvertently hurt or by explaining a misunderstanding. We also need to be patient with ourselves as we try to make positive changes, to grow in consciousness, and to listen to our inner voice. Remember to take things a step at a time and recognize that there will be times when we will need to repeat a step.
People’s impatience not only causes them stress, which is unhealthy for them, but it also is hurtful to others. If we truly believe in the importance of fairness and caring about the wellbeing of others, we need to notice when we are being impatient, to not give ourselves excuses for that, to take a deep breath or two, and to remind ourselves to be calm. And then to be patient with and forgive ourselves. Everyone with whom we interact and each of us will benefit from our efforts.