Category: PersonalGrowth

 “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

This quotation is by Anne Frank who, along with her family and others, went into hiding during World War II because they were Jewish.  They were discovered and sent to concentration camps, and Anne was only 15 years old when she became ill and died.  Her father survived and, when he returned to where they had been in hiding, he discovered her diary.  Through his endeavors, Anne’s diary was published with the title The Diary of a Young Girl, which included the above quote.

I have written other posts based on Anne Frank’s words because I have been moved by the wisdom that she expressed, especially at such a young age, and also that she expressed that wisdom at a time when she and so many other women, men, and children were being persecuted and killed by Hitler’s Nazis.

In saying that “nobody need wait” Anne is referring to all of us, that all of us can help to improve our world.  It’s not just certain people with certain talents, experiences, and opportunities—it’s each one of us.  It’s about making thoughtful choices, giving of ourselves, interacting with others in a respectful and nonjudgmental way, and in many other ways adding to that which is positive in our world. 

It’s understandable that at times we question whether what we do can make enough of a difference.  But as many other wise people in addition to Anne have said, every act of kindness does make a difference.  And, of course, the more of us who make those efforts, the more the positivity will grow.

So let’s not wait a single moment, to use Anne’s words, to begin doing our part to improve our world.

“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.”

This quote is by Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States, who lived from 1809 to 1865.  He spoke these words when he was in the Illinois House of Representatives, 20 years before he served as President during the Civil War.  His words reflect the way he approached life, both in his earlier years and during the war when one of the struggles was to end the terrible injustice and cruelty of slavery.

Thankfully, there are many people who devote time and effort supporting causes they believe to be just.  Those efforts have resulted in a higher quality of life for innumerable people, opportunities that previously had been withheld becoming available, more people (including women) having the right to vote, and many discriminatory practices being made illegal.  There continue to be many societal causes that need our support, some of which are ensuring that sufficient food and affordable housing are available for all children and adults, doing actions to protect land and water resources and reduce climate change, and decreasing violence. 

In addition to supporting societal and global causes that are just, we can also apply Lincoln’s words to concerns that are more individual and personal.  Each of us adds to that which is just in the way we think about and interact with other people.  When we are nonjudgmental and respectful toward others, we help to make life better for them and for us.  And when we endeavor to be more humble and more generous with our time and abilities, we also make life better for them and for us. .

Lincoln refers to the probability of failing.  It’s essential that we don’t let our fear of possible failure in these and other endeavors keep us from continuing to support just causes.  Trying to discern guidance from our inner voice and then trying to follow that guidance, both for societal/global causes and for help in making personal changes, is a  valuable way to be living as we should be living.  Trying to follow that discernment will help us to overcome the fear of failure and to continue to work toward that which we believe to be just.

“Without patience, we will learn less in life. We will see less. We will feel less. We will hear less. Ironically, rush and more usually mean less.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa.  I’m sure that during her many years of providing care to people suffering from poverty, end-of-life illness, and other serious difficulties, it was essential for her to have patience.  She helped with providing care personally and also through the Missionaries of Charity which she founded.  Missionaries of Charity programs are now located in many counties and assist a great many women, men, and children.  Her words speak from her life experience and point out how we can gain by being patient.

We live in a fast-paced world.  There is emphasis on accomplishing a lot, on competition with other people or entities, on not “missing out” on popular events, and so on.  That fast-paced way of living often leads to our feeling impatient, at times with ourselves and at times with other people.  Sometimes our impatience is even directed toward people who aren’t the cause of whatever is underlying it.

Although at times I need to remind myself to be patient, I hadn’t thought about how being impatient limits our experiences until I came across Mother Teresa’s words.  As she says, being  impatient decreases our learning, seeing, feeling, and hearing.  Are we seeing the expression on someone’s face that might help us understand how they are feeling?  Are we being empathic when someone is having difficulty completing something by the deadline?  Are we listening carefully to someone’s explanation of delays that were not in their control? 

When we’re impatient we also tend not to notice that which is positive around us, such as appreciating the helpfulness of others, seeing the beauty of the sky when we’re walking somewhere, hearing people’s greetings, joining in with others who are acknowledging a coworker doing excellent work.  When we’re so focused on whatever it is we’re impatient about, we miss out on the many positive things that are happening.

I plan to keep Mother Teresa’s words in mind to help me to experience more that is positive.  I encourage others to keep her words in mind too.

“Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes primarily from our inability to dwell in the present moment.”

This quote is by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist, author, poet, and teacher who lived from 1926 to 2022.

As Nhat Hanh’s words suggest, being able to dwell in the present moment can help us to deal with feelings of anxiety.  When we focus on the present moment, we’re able to stop thinking about things that happened in the past, even what happened earlier that same day, or concerns about the future, the unknown.  Both are often sources of anxiety.  It’s a reality of life that there are many things we cannot directly control.  Some are large and affect many people, such as wars and natural disasters; others are more personal, such as having relationship problems and worries about people we care about who are struggling with challenges.  As we do what we are able to when dealing with various difficulties, we also need to take care of ourselves when those difficulties cause anxiety.

Nhat Hanh’s referring to anxiety as the illness of our time reflects what is often spoken and written about. There are many articles and books about the prevalence of feelings of anxiety by many adults of all ages and by some children also.  As with all emotions, the degree of anxiety varies considerably.  In addition to concerns or challenges we can identify that are causing us to feel anxious, there are also times when we feel a low level and often present anxiety where it isn’t clear what might be causing it.

When we feel our anxiety rising, doing deep breathing is one approach that helps many people.  There are several types of breathing techniques, but they all have in common concentrating on our breathing so that we step away mentally from other thoughts. A basic form is to breathe in slowly through our nose to a count of four, expanding our lungs, hold the breath to a count of four, and then slowly release the breath through our mouth to a count of four.  Deep breathing also is effective because it stimulates our vagus nerve which cues our bodies and minds to relax.

Deep breathing and other “in the moment” self-help approaches can assist us with less intense feelings of anxiety.  For those who experience frequent and intense anxiety, I encourage meeting with a therapist to explore what might be underlying it in addition to doing deep breathing and other self-help skills.  I highly recommend meeting with a Jungian-based therapist, if possible.

If you’re not already in the habit of doing deep breathing and/or other types of coping techniques that help you to be in the present moment, I encourage you to do so.  In addition to caring for others, it’s important that we care for ourselves and thus to live healthier and more fulfilling lives.

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”

This quote is by Kalu Ndukwe Kalu, an American political scientist and author. 

People I think most highly of are those who prioritize doing things for others.  Many of them from the past are people whose words I have quoted in other posts:  Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, Mahatma Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln are some of those people.  And I believe each of them also thought highly of people who did things for others and were influenced by them.

The emphasis on doing things for others does not apply only to people who are well known, of course.  It applies to each of us.

Many of the parables of Jesus in the New Testament have to do with helping others, and many religious traditions in addition to Christianity emphasize doing so. When we give of ourselves by assisting others, spending time with people who are often alone, doing activities with our children and grandchildren, and in numerous other ways, we are adding to that which is of value in our world.  Being empathic and nonjudgmental are also ways of helping others.  And when we volunteer with and/or contribute financially to nonprofit organizations whose mission is to assist and support people who need their services, we also help many people.

A recent example of people helping others were the efforts made by a great many women and men in U.S. cities to assist immigrants who were being mistreated by ICE agents.  Many of the agents ignored the legal rights that both documented and undocumented immigrants have in our country.  The agents caused injury, fear, and trauma to individuals and their families, friends, employers, and many others.  People joined in protests, volunteered to be on school grounds to protect children, brought groceries and other necessities to people fearful of being targeted (which included men and women who were citizens), did pro bono legal work, and in many others ways did what they could—at great risk to themselves—to help to protect those being harmed by ICE agents.  And it made a difference in the lives of many.

Kalu refers to our legacy.  Our legacy is the lasting impact we leave behind when our earthly journey ends.  How wonderful when we spend part of our journey doing what we’re able to do to make other people’s lives better.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

This quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, who was an American essayist, philosopher, minister, abolitionist, and poet who lived in the 1800s.

The emotion of anger is complex.  Some people get angry often, including for what most of us would consider overreactions to whatever they are angry about.  Many people have been hurt emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically by other people’s inability to control their words and actions when they are angry.  In my years working as a crisis line counselor, people called who were in relationships where there was domestic abuse.  Not only were the adults harmed but children in the household were also, whether directly or by seeing and hearing the abuse.  Another place where anger is commonly displayed is on the internet when some people spew out hateful and threatening words. These are examples of unhealthy anger.

There is also anger that we feel in response to unjust or mean treatment of others, sometimes referred to as righteous anger.  This is the type of anger that Jesus expressed when merchants were exploiting pilgrims in the temple rather than respecting it as the house of prayer, and also when the Pharisees prioritized following ritual rather than having concern about others, such as when they criticized Jesus for healing seriously ill people on the Sabbath.  Anger that is felt as a result of racial and other types of prejudice, innocent people being killed in unnecessary wars, and people being victims of crime are other forms of righteous anger.  Righteous anger is healthy anger.

Emerson’s words caught my attention because of the way they express what we lose when we’re angry—we lose time that can be spent in much better ways.  As he says, we lose time when instead we could be happy; I would add that when we’re angry we lose time when instead we could feel peaceful and caring.

I’m quite sure that Emerson would agree that anger is not an easy emotion to control for some people.  Often those people who take out their anger on others observed that behavior when they were children and it became a learned response.  Some studies show that there can be a genetic component for some people.  People who have difficulty controlling their anger are often helped by working with a counselor and/or attending group therapy or a support group.  Acknowledging that there is a problem and reaching out for help require courage, and thankfully those who learn to deal with their anger not only help themselves to have a higher quality of life but also help the people who care about them.

Healthy anger, on the other hand, has been the impetus for many causes whose purpose is to work toward educating others, providing support and resources for victims of anger, enacting laws, and in other ways helping people.  When the energy of concern-based anger is channeled in these positive ways, people’s lives are improved. 

Let’s remember Emerson’s words and do all we can to decrease unhealthy anger and increase happiness.

“You can’t let your failures define you. You have to let your failures teach you.”

This quote is by Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States.  He served two terms as President and since then has continued to make a positive impact as a writer, speaker, philanthropist, and in other ways.

I have been re-reading Obama’s book A Promised Land, the first volume of which was published in 2020.  He writes about his early years through the first years of his presidency.  I respect Obama, for he is a man of integrity, intelligence, and concern for others, and has many other admirable qualities.  And, unlike many people, he is open to sharing what he considers to have been his failures.  In his book he writes about mistakes he made while campaigning for the presidency and as President.  So when he wrote the words I’ve quoted, he was speaking from his own experience.

Making mistakes and experiencing failure are part of being human.  When that happens, it can be difficult to go through.  And yet, fearing that we might make a mistake is very limiting.  If we hold back from trying to work toward personal goals or from supporting a cause we believe in or in other ways being constrained, we diminish our life experience.  As Obama says, we must not let failures define us but instead learn what those failures teach us and then move forward.  What we have learned will help us to take the next steps.

Each of us has the potential to add to that which is good and right in our world.  How we live each day can make a positive difference.  We must not let fear of making a mistake stop us from doing our part to add to what is of value in life, for ourselves as well as for others.

 “Spread the love of God through your life but only use words when necessary.”

This quotation by Mother Teresa encourages each of us to live in a way that spreads the love of God.  And by telling us to only use words when necessary, she emphasizes that it is through our actions that this happens.  For it’s one thing to talk about our intentions to do something, but it’s another thing to actually follow through on those good intentions.

I have chosen quotations of Mother Teresa’s for several posts since I started writing my blog a number of years ago, both because I respect how she lived her life and her faith and also because she expressed valuable truths with just a few words.  Through her work and that of the charitable organizations she founded, she certainly exemplified what she encourages us to do.

Mother Teresa often emphasized that our doing what might be considered “small” actions matters.  Helping someone, being patient, doing volunteer work for a worthy cause—these and many other endeavors make a positive difference and are some of the ways we can spread Divine love.  And during those times when we discern that we are called to do actions that require great effort, courage, and perseverance, it’s essential that we do our best to follow that calling as well.

Mother Teresa’s words remind me of the well-known expression “actions speak louder than words.”  That expression in itself is good to keep in mind.  But she also connects that reminder to the love of God.  For it is God, our Creator, who gives us the ability to do whatever worthwhile actions we do.  And also the One who guides us to choose the actions we are meant to do.  When we discern and do our best to follow that guidance, we do spread the love of God. 

“All people smile in the same language.”

This quote is by George Carlin, an American comedian, author, and social critic who lived from 1937 to 2008.  He was very creative and I’ve read that he wrote all of his own material.  In addition to being humorous and entertaining, his comedy routines were thought-provoking, enlightening, and at times profound.

I have a small plaque that I bought at an arts fair 30-some years ago that has the words “All people smile in the same language” written in calligraphy on in.  I just recently learned that those words are attributed to Carlin.  The artist from whom I bought the plaque also painted some small birds on it.  It’s one of my favorite pieces of artwork, both because it’s pretty and also because it’s a reminder that smiling is something people in all the regions of our world do.

There are many differences among the approximately 8.3 billion of us human beings who share this planet—different races, languages, worldviews, religious beliefs, abilities, gender identities, opinions, and others.  But one thing we have in common is smiling; it’s a universal way of expressing happiness and good will. 

Remembering this commonality leads me to also remember that all of us experience a variety of emotions.  In addition to feelings of happiness, we feel sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, and surprise.  And, although they might not be considered emotions per se, we also sometimes feel confused and sometimes hopeful.  Keeping this in mind can help us to be more accepting of and empathic toward others.  And it helps us to put less emphasis on our differences, especially when that emphasis leads to judgmental attitudes that are hurtful to others.

So as we go about our days, be mindful of our connection to people that a smile represents.  And appreciate the smiles you receive from others and the positive effects of the smiles that you give to others.

 “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

This quote is by the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  As one of the well-known leaders of the civil rights movement, he devoted a great deal of his time and energy working toward justice, equal treatment, and equal opportunities for all people.

Unjust actions and policies on a national and international level are the ones we most often hear about.  Those actions and policies have done a great deal of harm to countless people throughout history, including in the present.  These include injustices based on race, ethnicity, gender, age, and religious affiliation.  I’m thankful for the positive changes that have happened in many of these areas, but there is always more that needs to be done to stop the harm that many people must endure.

We don’t hear as much about injustices that individuals do to each other, which of course are also wrong.  Emotionally and physically abusive behavior and bullying are some of the harsher forms of injustice that occur on an individual level.  Being unfair, judging others, and even gossiping also fit within what Dr. King refers to as injustice anywhere.  When I say “even gossiping,” it’s because too many people don’t consider gossiping to be harmful.  On the contrary, people who are talked about negatively are definitely harmed.  Frequently people who gossip about others say things that they don’t know the full picture about and that often are not based on fact.  And many times people who have heard the gossip start avoiding the person spoken about or treating them negatively in other ways. 

Bullying, emotional abuse, unfairness, judging others, and gossip also happen far too often on the internet.  There is so much information on the internet that is fact-based and useful, but there is also much misinformation, disinformation, and content that has the purpose of hurting others.  I believe that these are also threats to justice, to use Dr. King’s words.

It’s essential for all of us to take care to question whether we are being unjust in any way, including by being unfair or judgmental.  It’s also important that we help our children and grandchildren by modeling fairness and acceptance.  In that way, we will help them to develop the virtues of being fair and just, leading to a better future for themselves and for the people with whom they interact.