“Some people come in our life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons.”
This quote is by Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to helping people in need, including by founding charitable organizations. She and others in those organizations provided care to people dying from terminal illnesses, helped people who were living in poverty, and in many other ways endeavored to treat people in need with dignity.
When I think of people coming into our lives as blessings, I think of individuals who have influenced us in positive ways, who we looked up to because their words and actions reflected their positive qualities, and who added joy to our lives.
When I think of people coming into our lives as lessons, I think of individuals who, as a result of our having interacted in some way, made it possible for us to learn something about ourselves or our world. Although I can’t know with certainty whether Mother Teresa was suggesting this, my impression from her quote is that those interactions had an element to difficulty or sadness from which we learned.
Mother Teresa’s referring to people coming in our lives as lessons caused me to think about an unexpected and sad situation I experienced and learned from. About 15 years ago a member of my family of origin decided to end all communication with me and would not talk to me about the reasons for doing so and therefore blocked any chance for reconciliation. Although I had heard and read about estrangements in families, I never expected that it would happen in my family. In addition to my experiencing the grief that goes along with the loss of a family member, the difficulty and sadness was added to by my wondering what I might have said or done that led to this. I’ll admit I might have said or done something that upset the person, but if so it was not done purposely to cause hurt and certainly not to lead to estrangement.
As with most grieving, time passing has decreased the hurt and questioning. Some of the lessons I’ve learned from this unexpected experience are there are things we cannot be in control of despite our good intentions, we cannot change other people, there are times when we need to accept that we will never know the answers to questions we have, and it’s important to value the good relationships and friendships we do have. These are all helpful life lessons that have assisted me when I’ve needed to deal with other situations that have come my way.
Mother Teresa’s referring to people coming in our lives as blessings made me think immediately of my daughter who is now an adult. I’m thankful that I was given the gift of being a mother, and from the time she was born to the present, she has added much joy to my life. And of course I learned much about life in my role as a parent when raising her and I continue to learn from our relationship as adults now. Another person who came in my life as a blessing is the Jungian psychotherapist I sought out many years ago for help with some issues I was dealing with. He not only helped me with the difficulties for which I initially saw him, but through our therapeutic work and through books he recommended, I learned about growing in consciousness, dream work, projections, synchronicities, doing our best to follow inner guidance—knowledge that has led to my having a meaningful and purposeful life.
There have been many other people who have been blessings in my life and many who have fit more the category of being lessons. It’s part of life that there will be both. Despite how difficult some of life’s lessons can be, they too are part of our personal journeys as we grow in consciousness that enables us to develop positive qualities. And ideally those positive qualities will make it possible for us to be blessings in the lives of other people.
I often quote Mother Theresa’s words of wisdom and I’m grateful for how her words, and my contemplating them, help me to grow in wisdom as well. For those who are reading this post, I’m thankful they help you to grow in wisdom also.