“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
This quote is by Viktor Frankl from his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist, neurologist, philosopher, and writer who lived from 1905 to 1997. During World War II he was imprisoned in Nazi concentration camps. Thankfully, he survived, and in 1946 he published Man’s Search for Meaning.
One of my faults is that I become frustrated when I get sick, even when it’s something minor like a cold. I’m thankful that I’ve had good health most of my life. I’ve had some illnesses where I needed to see a doctor and take prescribed medication and felt quite miserable for a while, but I had the good fortune to recover within a couple weeks. Now that I’m in my older years, the chance of having a more serious illness is greater, so my reaction to being sick probably includes some anxiety that what I have could be the beginning of a serious illness. At those times I definitely need to remember Frankl’s words about changing myself—changing how I’m looking at the illness, changing my attitude, and reminding myself of the many far more difficult situations people endure every day, whether related to their health or to other aspects of life.
Frankl’s having been imprisoned in concentration camps and the terrible treatment he and the many thousands of others who were imprisoned received are the basis of his words, and it’s likely they are based on other life experiences he had before and after the war as well. For all of us have times when we cannot change a situation, be it temporary like being sick or longer lasting. My thoughts go to people who wanted to work on their relationship but whose spouse or partner did not and left them, people who became disabled because they were in an accident they didn’t cause, people who worked for a company that downsized and who no longer have the job they very much liked, people whose homes were destroyed by natural disasters. There are many situations that we aren’t able to change.
And I also recognize that changing ourselves is difficult. I have great respect for people who make that effort. When needed, therapists and/or support groups can help us to do that. Reminding ourselves that our Creator is always with us can help us too.
So I realize the importance of endeavoring to remember Frankl’s words, both when I don’t feel well and at those other times when there are life experiences I cannot change. As I write this, I’m reminded of the Jungian concept of individuation. Individuation can be defined as the process of growing in consciousness and becoming a more whole person. Some of that growing in consciousness involves experiencing challenges and trying to approach them with courage, patience, and integrity. Becoming a more conscious and whole person is another important reason for all of us to keep Frankl’s words in mind.