“Compassion brings inner peace and, whatever else is going on, that peace of mind allows us to see the whole picture more clearly.” This quote by the Dalai Lama is one of many where he speaks about compassion and peace, reminding us of how important these qualities are both for ourselves individually and also for others with whom we interact. And for the world in general.
I thought about the Dalai Lama’s words after attending a meeting of coworkers and administrative staff today. During part of the meeting, those attending were invited to express concerns or feedback about aspects of their work. A young woman had several complaints about administrative staff not dealing with certain work situations as the woman expected them to, and she made generalizations and had what seemed to me to be unrealistic expectations. She spoke in a demanding and sometimes angry tone of voice.
I had a couple reactions as I listened to her. One reaction was feeling some compassion for her that she felt the way she did. I also noticed, however, that her being critical of others and having a demanding tone of voice weren’t helpful in resolving the problem. A more compassionate approach would have enabled her to have the peace of mind to see the various aspects of the situation. Had she stated what had happened that concerned her, asked questions, and been open to listening to the perspectives of others involved, she would have been better able to see the larger picture.
I think it’s important to be assertive when a situation calls for it, but a person can be assertive while also being considerate and empathic. Talking about problems in that way is far more effective and gives the other person or persons an invitation to respond with information that can clarify the issue, set forth present limitations, and describe what changes might be possible.
The incident that I’ve shared is just one of the many that occur in our world every day where the lack of the compassion of which the Dalai Lama speaks greatly decreases the chance of an effective outcome. Each of us trying to be more compassionate will make a great difference both in our day-to-day interactions with others and in larger causes as well.