Author: Susan Schulte

Posted on

Appreciating People Unknown to Us

 

“If we look at the buildings we live and work in, the roads we travel, the clothes we wear, or the food we eat, we must acknowledge that all are provided by others.  None would exist for us to enjoy and make use of were it not for the kindness of so many people unknown to us.”

This quote by the Dalai Lama serves as a reminder of the connections among human beings.  When we think of connections, many of us think of the people we know, the personal relationships we have with others.  Those relationships matter very much.  But there’s also the larger interconnection among all people.

The Dalai Lama emphasizes the kindness of the many people who through their work make available the items we need and use.  In addition to their kindness, I appreciate their commitment to doing their jobs, many of which require hard labor.  An example is the workers who harvest fruits and vegetables whose work involves repetitious movement for several hours each day.  Fresh fruit and vegetables are essential to good health and their availability in the stores where we shop is truly a blessing.

The other day I ran several errands.  I dropped off some items at a recycling center, returned and picked up items from the library, had the tire pressure checked and adjusted, and went to the grocery store.  I noticed the good customer service of the people working at each of the places I went, and I was reminded of the Dalai Lama’s words.  I also appreciate the people who work after businesses are closed to stock shelves and do the cleaning, making the spaces nice for those of us who will be there the next day.  Most of these “behind-the-scenes” jobs are low-paying, and yet they are essential.

It can be easy to take things for granted.  It’s words such as those of the Dalai Lama that help us remember to appreciate and be thankful for our many blessings and for the many people unknown to us that make them possible.

Posted on

Becoming Who We Are

“We are called to achieve personhood–to contribute most to others by becoming who we are, and standing for values that matter in this world, whatever the obstacles history provides us.”

This quote is by Jungian analyst, author, and speaker James Hollis from his book What Matters Most–Living a More Considered Life.

One of the principle concepts of Jungian theory is that each of us has the potential to grow in consciousness.  Becoming more conscious persons leads to our living more purposeful and meaningful lives.  Dr. Hollis’ words “becoming who we are” is another way of expressing this truth.  And his words “to contribute most to others” remind us that becoming more conscious not only benefits each of us as individuals, but also enables us to interact more genuinely with other people, and to better understand, have empathy for, and assist them.

Although Jungian psychological theory is not a religious-based theory per se, its emphasis on individuation clearly correlates with the teachings of many religious traditions, including Christianity.  The ongoing life-long process of individuation is basically synonymous with the life-long process of becoming the unique persons the Creator created us to be and using the abilities we’ve been given to help others.  By endeavoring to do this, we certainly do stand for values that matter, as Hollis says.

In his quote, Hollis also refers to “whatever the obstacles history provides us.”  When I read that, I thought about how all of us have personal histories as well as the history of the larger culture surrounding us, and we are affected by both.  Hollis’ words are hopeful, reminding us that we can live according to values that matter despite obstacles.

Standing for the values that matter takes courage, in particular when doing so is not supported by people we care about.  By becoming more conscious persons, we are given that courage and many other inner supports to continue our journey of “becoming who we are.”

Posted on

Heartfelt Prayer

“In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

These words of Mahatma Gandhi remind us that prayer matters but only when we are genuinely invested in the prayers we say.

As a child I was taught certain well-known prayers—The Lord’s Prayer, the Hail Mary, and many others.  In addition to our family saying a prayer together before each meal, my parents reminded us children to always say our prayers before going to sleep each night.  I think teaching children prayers is a natural part of telling them about the Creator and introducing them to religious traditions.

As adults, however, our prayers should reflect a more personal relationship with our Creator.  If that includes continuing to say traditional prayers, then we need to be careful to not just repeat the memorized words, but to focus on what those words express and how they reflect our beliefs and our faith.  This pertains to the prayers we say during church services as well, for it can be easy to fall into a pattern of not thinking about the words that we have said so many times before.

Heartfelt prayer is personal prayer.  It is where we talk to our Creator, sharing our feelings, our concerns, and our struggles, and asking for help.  It is also praying for other people and causes, and it is a time for expressing gratitude for our blessings.  Part of having the gift of faith is accepting that our Creator knows immeasurably more than we do and has a plan for each of us, for we are all unique creations.  And that means that there will be times when what we prayer for will not happen.  This can be hard to accept but acceptance of the Divine will is also part of having faith.  And it is our personal relationship with our Creator that helps us to be accepting.  That personal relationship is also the basis for living a meaningful life.

Posted on

The Importance of Trying

“God doesn’t require us to succeed; God only requires that you try.”

This is a quote by Mother Teresa.  I often use her words as the basis for posts I write, for she expressed many truths during her earthly journey that I find to be helpful for my journey.  I hope those who read my blog will find her words to be helpful for their journey too.

We all have heard that making mistakes is part of being human and that we can learn from our mistakes.  It’s important to remember too that if we’re afraid that we might make mistakes, we can become stuck and not grow and change in positive ways.

We also frequently hear or read about other people’s accomplishments.  But many times those accounts do not tell about what happened along the way—the stops and starts, the challenges that needed to be dealt with.  Only by being willing to try and to continue to try despite difficulties were they able to accomplish what they did.  They didn’t give up.

That is what we need to do when we are endeavoring to follow our inner direction, the direction given to us by our Creator and by the Self (to use Jungian terminology).  We need to try and to keep on trying despite obstacles that get in our way.  Obstacles come in many forms.  Sometimes people we care about don’t understand our choices and try to talk us out of them or they distance themselves from us, which can be very hurtful.  Another common challenge is our ego’s resistance to making changes, resistance that takes energy to overcome.  And there are many distractions in our modern world that we need to make an effort to avoid.

It is by trying, by making efforts, that we affirm our intention to work toward doing what we believe we are supposed to do.  As Mother Teresa said, it is by trying that we are doing what God requires.

Posted on

Living for Others

“A life not lived for others is not a life.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa.  It says a great deal with only a few words.  Her words are a caution to us to not think only about ourselves and our wants and our needs.

There are many ways to live for others.  Recently as I drove past an elementary school, children were getting off buses and walking to the school entrance.  I thought about how each of those children is dear to others—their parents, grandparents, and many other people—and of how the parents entrust their children to the teachers.  The many educators who are dedicated to their work and truly care about helping children to learn are examples of people who live for others.  Many professions include the opportunity to help people, such as employees who assist people living at nursing homes and assisted living residences, hospice workers, daycare personnel, social workers, counselors, and people in the medical professions.  And in those occupations that aren’t referred to as the “helping professions,” there are also opportunities to make someone else’s life better.  Some of the many ways are by treating coworkers with respect, mentoring, and being willing to assist when there are chances to do so.

Of course it isn’t just through our jobs that we have the opportunity to live for others.  We live for others as parents caring for and raising our children, spending time with them, and being good examples for them through our words and our actions.  We also live for others when we spend time with and assist elderly parents and other elderly friends or relatives.

When I think of people who live for others, I also think about the authors whose writing has added so much to my life.  In addition to being impressed by their writing ability and ways of presenting their ideas, I’m impressed by the self-discipline it takes to be a writer, their creativity, and, for many writers, the courage they have to share their ideas and experiences.  I believe that many authors write because they are trying to follow their inner direction.  By following their path, they too are living for others, for all of us whose lives are enriched by what they have written.

And of course, we live for others by supporting causes that matter—causes whose goal is to make our world better for all of us who share this earth.  And yet another way to live for others is through prayer.

Our Creator will help us to find those ways we can live for others.  Yet another reason to do our best to listen to and follow our inner voice.

Posted on

Following Inner Direction

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” — Chinese proverb

I came upon this quote in a book I was reading recently.  The book is about ecology and emphasizes the importance of protecting forests because they are integral to the health of our earth and its atmosphere, and to the wellness of human beings and many other creatures.  When I read the quote, I thought about how it pertains to many other aspects of our lives as well.

We often hear or read about the importance of setting goals and then working toward reaching those goals.  Having goals can be a source of hope and working toward them can add to our sense of purpose.  And yet it’s fairly common for us to have ideas of what we would like to accomplish but then to put off taking the steps required to make those ideas a reality.  It takes self-discipline and there are many distractions in our modern world that readily give us excuses to put off taking those steps.  In order to make progress, we need to embrace the idea that the “second best time is now” so that we will begin doing that which ideally we should have started doing already.

It’s essential to distinguish between direction given to us by our inner voice and goals that are only ego-based.  Inner direction comes to us through dreams, synchronicities, intuition, and unexpected life experiences, all of which are phenomena that we do not cause to happen but that instead happen to us.

The fact that the promptings we receive in these ways are to help us live more genuine lives and to use the abilities and blessings we’ve been given does not mean trying to follow inner direction is easy.  And yet when we endeavor to make changes in order to live in ways that we’ve done our best to discern are from our inner voice, there is a sense of “this is what matters, this is what I’m called to do.”  And we are given help from the universe to have the courage, creativity, energy, and perseverance that we need in order to move forward along our path.

Trying to hear our inner voice, to discern its messages, and to follow the direction we’re given—direction that is unique to each of us—is essential to our emotional and spiritual well-being.

 

Posted on

Recognizing Projection

“Projection occurs when we see an unconscious characteristic of our own in another person or object.”  From Jung: The Key Ideas by Ruth Snowden.

One of the most valuable commitments each of us can make is to try to be aware of when projection is occurring or may have occurred.  As the above quote by therapist and author Ruth Snowden says, projection involves seeing a characteristic in another person that is actually a characteristic of ourselves of which we are unaware.  Learning about psychological projection has helped me to better understand other people and to better understand myself as well.  It has helped me to be more accepting and less judgmental of people who are different from me.

Projection is an unconscious phenomenon; therefore, it’s not something we consciously cause to happen or over which we have control.  But we can become better at recognizing when it might have occurred.  One way to do that is to pay attention to those times when we feel strong emotions about a person or group of people, either positive or negative emotions.  And then to ask ourselves what might have caused that emotional reaction, what is it we’re thinking about that person or group of people and is there a factual basis for those thoughts.  Or are they instead ideas we learned as children passed on to us by parents and other authority figures, ideas that we naturally don’t question as children but should question as adults.

Projection is the basis of much that is wrong in our world.  It is the underlying cause of prejudice against people who are different from us, including differences of race, ethnicity, religious tradition, age, gender, and/or gender identity.  If more people would do the work of trying to become more conscious, far less injustice, inequity, and other forms of hurt would occur as a result of prejudice against others.  By exploring our biases and recognizing that they are based on characteristics we project onto others and neglect to see in ourselves, we live more genuine lives.  And we join with others who are doing similar inner work that is both personally beneficial and also helps to heal the divisions among people.

Posted on

We Need Nature

“We need nature more than nature needs us. It should be looked upon with awe and humility.”

This quote is by Sadruddin Aga Kahn, who was a statesman and activist.

I recently took my first long walk outside since last fall.  I live in a northern state and in the winter I exercise inside and wait until the weather is milder to do activities outside.  As I write this, the signs of spring where I live are daylight lasting longer into the early evening and temperatures generally becoming warmer, or at least not as cold as they were a month ago.  As I walked along the trail that goes through the woods near where I live, I thought about how I enjoy watching the changes that happen each spring.  The leaves haven’t peaked out on the branches yet, but it won’t be long until the leaf buds will form and a few days later the leaves will appear.  And whereas now I can see quite a ways into the woods, before much time passes the vegetation will be too thick to see very far.  Each stage has its own beauty.

As Kahn says, we need nature.  Spending time outside connects us with nature, and we experience it with all of our senses.  We smell the fresh air and the aromas of wild flowers and new vegetation.  We see the various shades of green of the trees, bushes, vines, and grasses; the sky, with its clouds and sunrays; and the birds of many different colors and sizes, some small like the sparrows and some large like the Canadian geese.  And perhaps there is a lake or stream that is part of what we see as well.  Through our sense of touch, we feel the sun’s warmth, the breeze, the firmness of earth as we walk along.  And we hear birdsong and the leaves moving in the breeze.  Being in nature provides a welcome change from being inside, where many of us spend much of our time, be it at jobs or at home.  Being in nature re-energizes and refreshes us.

The places where I take walks, including the woods near my home, are relatively unpretentious as compared to well-known nature areas such as national parks and monuments.  Such places have spectacular scenery, majestic mountains, and many square miles of protected beauty, and I’m thankful those areas are preserved for many people to experience and appreciate.  Whether it be a well-known nature area or the woods near me or whatever outdoor spaces are near each of us, we should look on them with awe and humility, as Kahn says.  For they add much to our quality of life, often more than we realize.  We need to value and be thankful for them.

Posted on

Blessed Are They That Mourn

“Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Matthew 5:4

Experiencing grief is one of the most difficult things we do during our earthly journey and it hurts deeply.  To no longer be able to be with someone we care about causes a sadness that can feel like it will never end.  In addition to the mourning we do when someone has passed away, we also mourn other losses, such as no longer being with someone who has ended a relationship with us, having a pet die, and other kinds of endings over which we do not have control.

We sometimes try to avoid the pain caused by grief.  We might tell ourselves things like that’s just how life is, we shouldn’t be sad, we should get over it and move on, etc.  And even worse, sometimes other people tell the grieving person such things when what that person needs most is someone who will be present with them, listen, and have empathy for what the person is going through.  As tempting as it is to try to avoid the emotional pain, we must not do that.  Grieving is a natural process.  It is through accepting the sadness and ache that emotional healing happens.

Although we are all unique and grieve in our own ways, with varying degrees of intensity and length of time, grief usually decreases over time.  As it does, we will begin to experience something different, such as memories of that person or pet and of how special they were, things we learned from them, and a sense of gratitude for them having been a part of our lives.  We will be comforted.

Posted on

Befriending Our Dreams

“The key is not so much to interpret a dream as to appreciate it and befriend it.”

I first learned about the idea that dreams have a purpose when I started therapy with a Jungian psychotherapist.  Writing down the dreams that I remembered and talking about them during our sessions was a part of the therapeutic work.  I also started reading books about how dreams help us to learn more about ourselves; how they reveal information from our unconscious that can then be integrated into consciousness.  Two Jungian authors whose writings have been especially insightful to me are John A. Sanford and Robert Johnson.  The above quote is from Johnson’s book Balancing Heaven and Earth.

Johnson’s statement that it is best to appreciate and befriend dreams rather than to try to interpret them corresponds to my experience doing dream work.  When I remember a dream, I first try to get a sense of its possible meaning by noting my associations to people and places in the dream.  I ask myself what stands out for me about that person and how might that trait apply to me.  If I’m familiar with the setting of a dream, I think about what that place might symbolize for me and pay attention to any feelings it might evoke.  For dreams in which persons and/or places appear who are not familiar to me, I also pay attention to any feelings I have about them as I’m writing down the dream.  When pondering a dream, I also take note of images that frequently symbolize certain concepts or qualities.  The ocean, for example, often symbolizes the unconscious, and dragonflies often symbolize transformation.

There are times when I feel some frustration that I’m not able to discern a dream’s possible meaning.  According to Jungian dream theory, each dream has a purpose and the timing of when we have dreams is significant.  When I cannot get a sense of why I had a certain dream,   I need to remind myself that I must not try to interpret the dream or to expect every dream to have a clear and obvious message.  Instead, I need to “let it be” and accept it as the gift it is, a gift to be appreciated.

Sometimes a day or two after having a dream, a thought will come to me or something will occur that helps to clarify the dream’s message.  Sometimes a dream’s images and story resonate with me quite readily.  And sometimes I never get a sense of a dream’s meaning.  I share these experiences because I don’t want others to be discouraged when that happens to them.  The fact that we put the effort into paying attention to our dreams and knowing they have value is what matters.