Category: PersonalGrowth

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God.” 

This quotation is attributed to Anne Frank, who, along with her family and others, went into hiding during World War II because they were Jewish and Hitler’s Nazis were imprisoning Jewish people.  After being in hiding from 1942 to 1944, they were discovered and transported to concentration camps.  Anne was only 15 years old when she became ill and died.  Her father was the only one in her family who survived, and when he returned to where they had lived, he discovered her diary.  Through his endeavors, Anne’s diary was published with the title The Diary of a Young Girl, which included the above quote.

Anne’s words show a wisdom not expected of someone as young as she was when she wrote them.  To have this insight at such a young age and while going through what she and her family and many other women, men, and children did under Hitler’s and the Nazis’ reign of terror is inspiring.

As with some of the other quotes that I’ve chosen to write about, this one again reminds us of the healing aspect of being in nature, of the beauty of the heavens, and of the importance of our relationship with the Divine. 

As I and many others have written about, noticing nature around us adds to our sense of wellbeing.  Whether we have the opportunity to spend time at a national park and see its majestic scenery or have a few minutes to look out our window at a sunset or notice the trees along the city sidewalk as we walk along, these are all ways of connecting with nature.  This connection is helpful every day and, as Anne Frank says, it is especially helpful when we’re experiencing difficulties.

And during difficult times it is vital to remember that our Creator is always with us.  Remembering this will help us no matter what we’re experiencing.

The Gift of Listening to Others

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”

This quote is by Ralph G. Nichols, who was an American author and communications expert who lived from 1916 to 2006.

Being a good listener is an excellent quality to have.  Giving our full attention to people talking to us, making eye contact, and not interrupting leads to our better understanding what they are sharing with us.  It also shows that we are interested in what they are telling us and that we value them.

In my experience as a crisis line counselor, giving my full attention to those who have called has been essential to trying to assist them.  In fact, many times the person calling would tell me that just being able to talk about what they were experiencing with someone who listened was helpful in itself.  This reflects Nichols’ words that being understood is a basic human need.  And that’s even more the case when a person is struggling emotionally.

Acquiring active listening skills is an essential part of counseling training.  In addition to giving our full attention and not interrupting, it includes reflecting back from time to time what a person has said and asking clarifying questions.  All of us can learn to do these helpful approaches that let people know we are listening and understanding what they are telling us.

Many of us need to improve our ability to listen. Too often when someone is talking to someone else, that person checks their phone or is easily distracted in other ways, is forming an answer instead of focusing on what the person is saying, or talks about an experience they had, as if they were waiting for the other person to finish so they could talk.  All of these actions lead to the person not feeling understood.

Recently I read an article about a high school where students were not allowed to look at their cell phones during classes, but they could during lunch break.  Some students started a challenge whose purpose was that students would choose to interact with each other rather than texting, playing games, etc., on their phones.  There was a better than expected response.  Some of the students interviewed said how much they were enjoying having conversations with each other by choosing not to view their phones.  This also reflects Nichols’ words about the basic need of being understood.  And it brings to mind for me how students conversing and enjoying each other’s company can decrease the loneliness that some young people feel.

I encourage all of us to notice how well we are listening when others are talking to us.  And to remember Nichols’ words about the human need to understand and to be understood.

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”

This quote by Martin Luther King, Jr. is yet another way of emphasizing the importance of caring about and helping others.  The women and men who I think most highly of, both those I’ve learned about who lived in the past and those who are presently living, are people who endeavored to help others.  Martin Luther King, Jr., was certainly one of those people.  As one of the leaders of the civil rights movement, he was courageous and selfless as he helped to bring about change that improved the lives of numerous people.  Mother Teresa through the charitable organizations she founded also helped many people.  Harriet Tubman through the underground railroad and in other ways enabled numerous slaves to escape the oppression that was occurring in the United States.  Mahatma Gandhi through his example and approach of nonviolent resistance led to India’s gaining independence from British rule resulting in improved lives for many.  And, thankfully, there have been a great many other women and men whose names can be added to this list for their efforts and the positive changes they helped to bring about.

There are also many women and men whose names are not in the history books but who had the courage and selflessness to devote themselves to working for causes that made and continue to make many people’s lives better.

Another way people’s lives are affected in a positive way is by reading the writing of capable authors–novels, nonfiction books, children’s literature, articles in publications, and so on.  When we read that which is published by talented writers, our lives are enriched, we gain in knowledge, and we broaden our life experience.  In addition to having writing ability and creativity, effective writers also have self-discipline, patience, and perseverance.  Because they have these qualities, those of us who read their works gain from their efforts.  I believe what I’ve said about writers also applies to those who compose music.  Through their work they also add to the happiness of others.

Finally, King’s words apply to each one of us as we interact with others.  With our spouses or partners, our children and grandchildren, extended family members, friends, and coworkers.  With people we know and with people we do not know.  When there are ways we can help people that lead to them being happier, naturally that will add to our happiness, as King says.  And we will be living in a way that our Creator created us to live.

 

“Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, one of several people whose words of wisdom I have shared in a number of posts in my blog since I started writing it a few years ago.  She was a woman whose words and accomplishments showed compassion, the ability to overcome adversity, courage, and many other admirable qualities in addition to wisdom.

In the past as well as presently, much has been written and spoken about social justice.  I’m thankful for the progress that has been made, such as educational and career opportunities being more available to many people than they were in the past when race, ethnicity, gender, disability, age, and other characteristics prevented people from having those opportunities.  This progress has been possible thanks to a great many people recognizing that racism and other forms of prejudice are wrong and immoral.  In recognizing this, they had the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare to which Keller refers.

It’s sad that there are people who do not have that sense of responsibility.  Who, rather than caring about other people, think only about themselves or only about themselves and the groups to which they belong.  It’s also sad that some of the progress that has been made is being undermined, because certain people in power do not recognize the importance of caring about others’ welfare.  And it‘s a shame that some of the people who do not care about helping others consider themselves to be Christians when their words and actions directly contradict the teachings of Jesus.

In addition to supporting social justice causes that have as their mission to decrease racism and other forms of prejudice, each of us can do our part to live in a way that shows that we care about other people.  By treating others with respect, by giving our full attention when others are talking to us, by being nonjudgmental, and by helping others, we demonstrate our belief in the importance of caring about each other’s well-being.  And in so doing, we also endeavor to live as Jesus taught us to live.

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

This quote by Mahatma Gandhi is a reminder to all of us of the importance of humility.  For no matter how much knowledge we have, how much education we’ve had, and how many life experiences we’ve had, no human being is exempt from being wrong at times.  One aspect of humility is recognizing the fact that being wrong and making mistakes from time to time help us to learn, and by means of that learning, to gain in wisdom.

Gandhi’s words also cause me to think about being thankful for the wisdom the Creator has given us.  Wisdom helps us to live our lives more fully and with integrity, to keep things in perspective, and to help others.

It’s concerning that there are leaders of countries and members of governing bodies who believe that they are always right, and especially concerning when policies they enact cause harm to people.  They won’t consider investigating alternatives because they don’t think other people’s ideas and suggestions matter.  This certainly is not wisdom; it’s egocentricity.  This wrong approach also applies to anyone whose decisions adversely affect others, including employers, school administrators, and other men and women who hold leadership roles.

Accepting and then keeping in mind Gandhi’s words that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err will help us to be humble and to be open to considering the ideas of others.  And, most importantly, we should all endeavor to listen to our inner wisdom, to try to discern its guidance for us as we travel our earthly journeys.

“I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.”

These words are by Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States, who lived from 1809 to 1865.  He was President during the Civil War and is remembered as a man of integrity who took the first steps toward ending slavery in the United States.

Although Lincoln’s words are referring to himself and his approach to life, they express that which all of us should do.  Trying to do our best is part of living life fully, and each of us has abilities that can help us in our endeavors.

It can be disheartening to make mistakes and to deal with obstacles that get in the way of that which we’re trying to do.  It can also take a lot of effort and perseverance to keep on trying to do the best we can.  And yet it is so important to not give up, both for ourselves individually and for whoever will be affected by what we do.

Whether we are trying to do our best in our day-to-day endeavors related to family, friends, our work, staying healthy, and in other ways, or whether we’re trying our best by putting effort and time into a specific project or goal, we need to keep on doing the best we know how, as Lincoln says.

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

This quote is by Martin Luther King, Jr.  His words reflect the way he lived his calling as a pastor and as a leader in the civil rights movement during the 1950s and 1960s.

There are certain qualities that are always right:  being nonjudgmental, having compassion, being generous, and having courage are some of them.  And when any of these qualities underlie what we do, they help us to do what is right.

I’ve often read about people who have done courageous and selfless things:  some men and women who stopped their cars to assist an elderly man whose car had gone off the road; a man who by using his paddleboard rescued people in his neighborhood when there was flooding and the water had risen quickly and with little warning; a woman and man who visit areas of their city where there are homeless people and give them food and tell them where there are free meals, medical care, and other resources; people, including physicians and other medical staff, who choose to stay in war-torn parts of the world helping the people there; a woman who was able to talk a man she did not know out of committing suicide.  By helping others in these ways they were doing what is right.

I’m always thankful when I read or hear about such selfless acts.  Throughout history there have been many people who have been courageous, compassionate, generous, and nonjudgmental.  Martin Luther King, Jr. was certainly one of them as were many other women and men in the civil rights movement then and since then.

I believe King’s words refer to both the extraordinary things people do and also to that which each of us can do every day.  Treating family members, coworkers, and others with whom we interact with respect and kindness is doing what is right.  Supporting meaningful causes and charitable organizations that help people in need, by contributing financially and/or by volunteering, is doing what is right.  Living with integrity and honesty is doing what is right.  Using the gifts we’ve been given in the ways we discern our Creator wants us to use them is doing what is right.

Let’s all do our best each day to do what is right.

“Live simply so others may simply live.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa, a person who gave of herself as an individual and through the charitable organizations she founded that have assisted and continue to assist people who are experiencing some of life’s most difficult situations, including poverty and end-of-life illness.  I have written several posts in the past based on Mother Teresa’s quotes.  I appreciate her selflessness, for she prioritized caring for others.  I also appreciate her emphasis on the fact that whatever each of us does that contributes to that which is positive in this world does make a difference.

I don’t know the context of Mother Teresa’s words “Live simply so others may simply live” at the time she said or wrote them.  However, one possibility is that her words were directed toward those of us who have the means to help others and therefore should do so.  We who have a home, sufficient food, a steady income, and whose basic material needs are met should be generous to others rather than just adding to our own belongings and comforts.  There are many people in our world who do not have a home, sufficient food, or a means of earning money, and many others whose shelter is in unsafe areas and who, although employed, have low-paying jobs.  By our choosing to live more simply, we are able to share the blessings we’ve been given and by doing so to help others to have better life situations. There are many nonprofit organizations and church outreach programs to which we can contribute financially.  We can also help in other ways, such as by volunteering at such programs.

Mother Teresa’s words can apply to other areas of concern as well.  They cause me to think about doing our part to decrease global warming.  We who live in wealthier countries cause more global warming than do the people who live in poorer countries.  But many of the harmful weather events caused by climate change happen more often in the poorer countries, including causing drought so that crops cannot be grown to feed the people there.  Our choosing to live more simply by reducing our carbon footprint helps people in poorer countries to have an improved quality of life.

When I think about letting others “simply live,” another idea comes to mind.  We can help people simply live by not judging them, by not repeating negative things that we have heard about someone, and by not thinking of ourselves as being better than other people.  Careless words and actions cause harm to others, including stress and sadness, decreasing their being able to simply live.

So I encourage all of us to think about the ways we can help others by choosing to live more simply.  And then to take the steps and make the changes to do so.

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because God loves us.”

This quote is by C.S. Lewis from his book Mere Christianity.  Lewis was an English author and university instructor who lived from 1898 to 1963.  He is well known for both his fiction and nonfiction works.  Most of his nonfiction books are about various aspects of Christianity and faith, and I’ve found them to be very insightful.

Lewis’ quote is a reminder to us to have humility and to embrace our Creator’s love for us.

We are humble when we acknowledge the truth that we are dependent upon our Creator for any of the things we do in the ways our Creator wants us to—in other words, doing those things that make up our goodness.  Having genuine humility helps us to avoid being egocentric, such as by thinking that somehow we do the right things without the help of our Creator.  Remembering that we are dependent on God working within us by guiding us, helping us to see our faults, giving us abilities and direction about how to use those abilities, and in many other ways is essential to our being good.

Human goodness encompasses many qualities:  compassion, selflessness, empathy, sharing of one’s time and abilities, patience, and more.  To the extent we have any degree of these qualities, they are gifts from the Divine.  And, as Lewis says, they are given to us because our Creator loves us.

“The kingdom involves the realization of our personalities according to the inner plan established within us by God; hence, the unfolding of a Self that predates and transcends the ego.”

This quote is by John A. Sanford from his book The Kingdom Within: The Inner Meaning of Jesus’ Sayings.  Dr. Sanford was a Jungian analyst, an Episcopal priest, a speaker, and the author of several books.  I encourage you to read The Kingdom Within as well as any of the other books he wrote.

One of the reasons I am drawn to Jungian psychology is that many of its concepts correspond to religious teachings and spirituality.  And one of the reasons I think so highly of Dr. Sanford was his ability to clearly write about that interrelationship.

In many of my posts I refer to our inner voice, and I encourage all of us to try to discern its guidance as we travel our life journeys.  Sanford’s words “according to the inner plan established within us by God” cause me to reflect upon how our Creator cares for each one of us, made each of us a unique creation, and gives us guidance.  Sanford saying the inner plan is an “unfolding” expresses that it is a process that continues throughout our lifetime.  And his words “predates and transcends the ego” emphasize that our Creator’s plan for us comes from a source greater than our ego.

The main purpose of the ego is to carry out the guidance we’re given from within. That’s a very important purpose.  Making choices, expressing ourselves, and doing actions based on that which we discern gives to our lives a sense of meaning that is not present otherwise.  Many people who do not have a sense of purpose or meaning feel that way because they approach life at only an ego level, either never having learned about or not accepting the truth that the unconscious affects our thinking, words, and actions far more than we realize.  The ego is a smaller part of our total being than is the unconscious.  It is only when we’ve grown in consciousness that we are able to have some understanding of this.  Therefore, endeavoring to become more conscious is vital.

It wasn’t until I began meeting with a Jungian psychotherapist many years ago that I became aware of the ways the unconscious affects our lives without our realizing it.  Through my work with the therapist and by reading about Jungian psychology and related topics, I began to grow in consciousness.  I’m able to say from personal experience that I’m living a more purposeful and meaningful life as a result.  I can also say from personal experience that I make mistakes, that the inner guidance is not always clear to me, and that I have to be watchful of when my ego desires get in the way of my inner work.

But continuing to endeavor to follow the “unfolding of the Self,” to use Sanford’s words, is what matters most.  That is why I share Sanford’s quote with you.  And that is why in my other posts I share the quotes of other people whose words of wisdom can help all of us to grow in consciousness and to live more meaningful lives.