“The capacity for empathy leads to a genuine encounter—we have to progress toward this culture of encounter—in which heart speaks to heart.”
This quote is by Pope Francis, the present Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.
Empathy is one of the most valuable qualities each of us can possess. A basic definition of empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Pope Francis adds depth to this definition, particularly with his words “genuine encounter” and “heart speaks to heart.”
Being empathic is a gift we give to others. When people share with us something they are struggling with, our ability to communicate our empathy is the most helpful thing we can do. We do this by listening to them without distraction and by sensing from what they have told us what it must be like to experience what they are sharing. This is the genuine encounter of which Pope Francis speaks.
A friend once told me about an experience she had that illustrates empathy. She was feeling sadness and disappointment because she hadn’t been hired for a job for which she was highly qualified and for which she had been one of the candidates called back for a second interview. When she shared with friends that she hadn’t been offered the job, some had responded by saying perhaps it was for the best or that she would most likely eventually get a job she liked just as well. She told me she knew her friends meant well and that these statements might be true, but at the time they weren’t helpful. Then she told me about another friend whose reaction was to spontaneously say “damn it” with great emphasis. My friend told me that this friend’s heart-felt reaction caused her to feel understood, supported, and cared for. It was an example of heart speaking to heart.
Having the ability to be empathic is not only essential to being present with people we know and care about, it also can extend more broadly to others. The more that people have empathy about the life situations of other people in our world, the greater is the possibility that positive change can occur. There would be less racism, sexism, ageism, and intolerance of every kind if more of us made the effort to put ourselves in other people’s places. When I read Pope Francis’ words that we have to progress toward a culture of encounter, I thought about this more expansive effect of empathy.
Each of us should try our best to have empathy for others. By doing so, we help people we know and care about and we also add to that which is positive in our world.