“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”
This quote is by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who was a psychiatrist, instructor, and author. She is known for her studies and writings about near-death experiences, stages of grief, and her pioneering work to improve the lives of people who were terminally ill. This work included her insights about hospice and palliative care and about treating people who were dying with dignity. She wrote several books, the best known being On Death and Dying.
Dr. Kübler-Ross’ words “all events are blessings given to us to learn from” are a reminder that every day there are opportunities to add to our knowledge, including our self-knowledge, opportunities for which we need to be grateful. As we go about each day, we learn from, among other things, our interactions with others and from unexpected happenings. Sometimes those interactions and those happenings are enjoyable and therefore we welcome them. At other times they can be difficult. It takes an effort to feel grateful when we must deal with challenges and hardships, for our egos want to be “in control” and to avoid anything we dislike. It is helpful to remind ourselves during those times that often it is only later, after the difficult period has passed, that we recognize how we gained from the experience. Perhaps we will see that we put others before ourselves, had courage and/or perseverance and/or patience, were able to problem solve better than we thought we could, and in other ways learned about ourselves because of how we approached the difficulty.
As Kübler-Ross says, we learn from many aspects of life. An example from my life is what I learned when I helped to care for my elderly mother when she needed to live at an assisted living residence during the last few years of her life. My mother was fortunate that she had been able to live in her home until she was in her mid-90s. Although she understood the need to have the assistance of caregivers when her ability to care for herself changed, it was still a difficult transition for her. It was a priority of mine to spend time with her often, first of all because I loved her and also to give her companionship and to help her feel secure in knowing I would help her in any way I could.
Many adult children of elderly parents do as I did to be present with and assist their parents. Through this experience, we learn that we are able to be generous with our time instead of thinking only for our needs and wants. We also grow in empathy sensing the emotions our parents are feeling as the abilities they had when they were younger decrease, and we grow in patience, such as when we walk slowly down the hall with them to be sure they get that exercise. And when our parents pass away, we have the gift of knowing we helped to make the last years of their earthly journey nicer for them.
The time spent with my mother also gave me practical knowledge about assisted living programs and what to expect if I need to live at one when I’m older. The experience also has helped to motivate me to do what I can to maintain my health as long as possible by eating nutritiously, exercising, getting sufficient sleep, enjoying time with loved ones, staying active physically and mentally, and in other ways.
I encourage you to approach life in the way expressed by Dr. Kübler-Ross. In doing so, you will live a more fulfilling and meaningful life, a life of learning every day.