“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
This quote is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was a German Lutheran pastor, theologian, author, and resistance leader against Nazism. He was imprisoned and later killed when he was 39 years old for his involvement in the resistance.
When I first read Bonhoeffer’s quote, I had the thought that his words are a profound way of describing compassion. For when we are compassionate, we recognize that every person we encounter has experienced and/or is experiencing things we don’t know about, and those experiences often involved a level of suffering. Suffering has many degrees and takes many forms, including what might be termed milder forms such as being disappointed or realizing a person who we trusted is no longer trustworthy, to more serious and persistent forms such as being physically abused, having chronic pain, or struggling with depression. These and many other forms of suffering naturally affect a person’s personality, the ways they interact with others, and their worldview.
When I read Bonhoeffer’s words “in light of what they do or omit to do,” I thought about how we tend to make judgments about others after seeing them do a certain behavior or by noticing something someone hasn’t done that we think that person should have done. But these observations are just part of what we know about the person. There is far more that we do not know, including what they have suffered or are presently suffering. When we judge others, we are doing the opposite of being compassionate toward them. Also, when we judge others, we go against the teachings of many world religions, including Christianity where Jesus said “Do not judge” and reminded us to instead look at ourselves and see our own faults.
I recently saw a photo of a child in tears because her parents were being deported. The woman and man had lived in the United States for a few years, had jobs, and had taken the steps to become citizens, which is often a long process. The person who had posted the photo said it made him ashamed of our country. I believe many Americans would also disagree with how these people were being treated. This type of treatment, including them being denied due process, was an example of lack of compassion at a systems level. Too often compassion is lacking not only by individuals but also by such systems, including certain laws, legal processes, and political agendas.
It is concerning that the virtue of compassion is not considered to be more essential by some of us. People who perform compassionate acts are sometimes ridiculed, including on social media, by certain news organizations, and in films. Just as with all of the values that matter, each of us individually needs to try to grow in compassion, not only because it matters to our own soul work, but also so that others are influenced. This is especially important for children to see so that they too will be compassionate as adults.
I’m thankful for Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s thought-provoking words and for the other ways he showed wisdom and courage when he was on his earthly journey.