“I may not be able to give my kids everything they want, but I give them what they need: love, time, and attention. You can’t buy those things.”
This quote is by author Nishan Panwar.
I have experienced the wonderful gift of raising and loving a daughter who is now in her mid-30s. And now I am experiencing the wonderful gift of being with and loving a grandson who is two years old. Nishan Panwar’s quote certainly applies to parents, but it also applies to others of us who have close relationships with children.
I remember when my daughter was a child how special it was to see her attain each milestone: smiling, crawling, taking her first step, saying her first words. And also seeing what caught her attention, what toys she chose to play with or books to look at, what caused her to smile and to laugh. Being able to observe the many aspects of her being a unique little creation.
As is the case with most adults, I needed to work, and therefore I was with my daughter less often than I would have liked to have been. But when I was with her, I valued being able to give her the love, time, and attention of which Panwar speaks. For, as he says, those are what matter most.
Interacting with children in a loving way is essential for them to thrive, to feel secure, and to sense that they matter. Being loved enables children to have a positive self-concept, which can be the foundation not only for a good relationship with their parents and other caregivers but also for having good relationships with others as they grow older.
Time can be hard to come by in many people’s busy lives. In order to have time to spend with our children, we most likely need to decrease the amount of time we spend doing things we enjoyed doing before having children. In other words, to adjust our priorities. The time we devote to being with and interacting with children is an essential part of nurturing them. And we also gain by being with them.
When we are with our children, we need to give them our full attention—listening to what they say and responding, and thereby letting them know that we value what they are sharing with us. It’s important to set aside distractions as much as possible and to be fully present with them. I realize as I write this that this can be challenging at times, depending on what other things are going on in our lives—we can just try to do our best.
As I was when my daughter was a child, I’m thankful for being able to experience the joy of seeing my grandson grow and change, be active and interested in things. And I again have experienced and continue to experience having a special relationship with a child and doing my best to add to what is positive in his young life.
Children will thrive when we give them what they need: love, time, and attention. These are wonderful gifts for us to give to the children in our lives.