Author: Susan Schulte

Posted on

The Secret of Life

“This is the secret of life:  the self lives only by dying, finds its identity (and its happiness) only by self-forgetfulness, self-giving, self-sacrifice, and agape love.”

This quote is by Peter Kreeft who is a professor of philosophy and who has written many books about Christian theology, philosophy, and apologetics.

Kreeft referring to the self dying reminds me of the importance of us decreasing our focus on our ego-based desires and choices.  By doing that, selfishness dies, opening the pathway to giving of ourselves.

We give of ourselves by being generous with our time and our abilities, both of which are gifts from our Creator.  We do this by helping others, volunteering for causes we believe to have value, spending quality time with our children, grandchildren, and others, and in many other ways.  These are forms of self-sacrifice and agape love, a love that is unconditional, has no expectation of return, and desires the welfare of others.

I have a friend who had a neighbor who she would visit with from time to time.  The neighbor was about 20 years older than my friend and lived alone for several years after her husband passed away.  When the neighbor needed to move to an assisted living residence because of health issues, my friend started visiting her at least once a week and has continued to do that, even though she works full-time and has other obligations.  They talk about various things and sometimes my friend reads to her.  This is an example of self-giving, not expecting anything in return, and choosing to share one’s free time.

I have a coworker who volunteers at a food shelf regularly.  He helps people he doesn’t know to have sufficient food for themselves and their families.  In this way, he too gives of his abilities and time, not thinking of his needs but instead choosing to make the needs of others a priority.

There are many examples of people giving of themselves, sharing the gifts given to them by our Creator.  By trying to discern how our Creator wants us to use those gifts and then by doing our best to act on what we have discerned, we not only help others and make our world a better place, we also live more purposeful and meaningful lives.

 

Posted on

Great Books Help Us Understand

“Great books help you understand, and they help you feel understood.”

This quote is by author John Green.  Reading well written books is a special gift we can give to ourselves.  Although what each person considers to be well written is somewhat subjective and each of us has preferences about what we choose to read, there are clearly books that have stood the test of time, that have received positive reviews from several reviewers, that are required reading for secondary and post-secondary literature classes, that were written by authors who have received awards for their writing, and that in other ways are considered to be the great books to which Green refers.

Green saying that books help us understand is shown in many ways.  The characters in novels help us to learn much about human nature.  The ways the characters interact with each other, think about things, deal with challenges, make decisions, and feel and express emotions reflect those aspects of many people’s lives.  Through reading, we can learn much about psychology and that helps us to better understand others, to be more accepting, and to be more empathic.

The setting of each novel gives us an idea of what it would have been like to live in places and during times other than those with which we are familiar.  I especially like historical fiction because, in addition to enjoying the plot and characters of a story, I learn more about the events that took place in that era as well as about the day-to-day situations of people who lived at that time.  In these ways, reading great literature expands our experiences and knowledge.

Green’s observation that great books help us to feel understood also fits with my experience.  We can often relate to characters in novels, to their reactions to whatever is happening, to their emotions, to their goals and their hopes.  When the personality of a character reminds us of ourselves, or at least ourselves in certain situations, we do feel more understood.  When a character goes through a certain experience similar to something we’ve experienced, we also feel more understood.  Such similarities are ways of showing that “we’re all in this together.”

By reading great books, or listening to the audio versions of them, I’ve been able to have a sense of what it is like to live in large cities, small towns, and the wilderness; to be a parent to many children or to none; to live in Paris in the 18th century, Kenya in the 1800s, and New York City in the recent past; to be wealthy and to be poor.

None of these describe my situation in present reality.  But through reading quality books written by creative and talented authors I have a better idea of what other people’s lives were like in the past and are like in the present.  Reading has definitely helped me to understand and to feel understood, and has added much that matters to my life.

Posted on

Opportunities for Kindness

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

This quote is by Seneca who was a Roman philosopher, statesman, and dramatist.  His words are a reminder that there are many opportunities to be kind to others—in fact, as many opportunities as there are people in our world.

It’s wonderful to see the effects of kind actions.  Recently, one of my coworkers who has a garden brought vegetables to work to share with us.  It’s the time of the year when many of the vegetables are ready to harvest, and he brought tomatoes, green beans, and zucchini.  For those of us who don’t have our own yards or the time to do gardening, the fresh vegetables were a welcome gift.  His thoughtfulness and generosity brightened our day.

I’m impressed and hopeful when I read or hear about more newsworthy acts of kindness.  And yet how special it is that each of us can show kindness throughout each day in our interactions with others.  As with all qualities that matter, our ability to be kind is a gift from our Creator.  We share that gift with others when we treat them with kindness and we are recipients of that gift when we are treated with kindness by others.

I’m thankful for the many people who are kind to others on a regular basis.  What a difference it would make in our world if even more people were.

Posted on

Accomplishing “Small Tasks”

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, a woman who when she was 19 months old had an illness that resulted in her becoming both blind and deaf.  With the assistance and companionship of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to read, write, and speak.  She eventually became a famous author, speaker, and philanthropist who positively affected the lives of many people.

Helen Keller’s words are a reminder that many of the things we do have significance.  It might be that our life path includes working toward a “great and noble task.”  If that’s the case, it’s essential that we put forth the effort and do our best to follow our inner guidance as we take the steps required for that.

It is often the case, however, that our lives are made up of doing what might be termed “small tasks.”  Small tasks as well as large tasks require us to make it a priority to try to discern what our inner voice wants us to do and then to do our best to follow the direction we’ve been given.  Making the effort of discernment is itself a noble task.

When I think of small tasks, I think of many of those things we do daily:  showing our spouses or partners, our children, and other loved ones that we care about them through our actions and our words; acting with integrity; being generous with our time; and helping others.  I think of being responsible, including doing quality work at our jobs.  There are times when we need to be patient, times when we need to be assertive, times when we need to have courage, and times when we need to do creative problem solving.  These and many other ways of being are certainly “small tasks” that are “great and noble.”

Posted on

Getting Back Up Again 

“Do not judge me by my success.  Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

This quote is by Nelson Mandela who lived in South Africa and was a lawyer, an anti-apartheid activist, and a politician.  Before becoming the first president of South Africa in 1994, he had been imprisoned for 27 years after being sentenced for conspiring to overthrow the government because of his anti-apartheid activities.  He certainly was an example of someone who got back up again, of someone who had resilience.

Resilience is a quality that makes it possible for us to face whatever difficulties come our way.  We gain resilience each time we deal with difficulties, including learning through our experiences various ways to approach new challenges.

One of the most valuable things we can do for children is to help them to become more resilient.  We can do this as parents with our own children and also as grandparents, teachers, coaches, day care employees—anyone who spends time with children in other capacities.  I have read articles about research studies that have shown the positive effects of taking the time to listen to what children have to say, of reading to and with them, and of acknowledging their feelings.  When children feel comfortable talking about their feelings with a caring and trusted adult and sharing, for example, when something has happened that makes them feel sad or frightened, it helps them become more resilient.  It helps them in many other ways too because through such interactions they sense that they are valued.

When children tell us their feelings, we must not tell them or imply that they should just get over it.  Instead, we should acknowledge the feelings they’ve shared with us.  Such caring interactions help them to be better able to deal with difficulties when they are adults.  And, according to the findings of research studies, such interactions decrease the potential for mental health and addiction problems to develop.

As Mandela says, it’s the times that we get back up again after something in life causes us to fall down that matter.  We can all become more resilient ourselves and we can help others, including children, to develop this essential quality as well.

Posted on

Perseverance

“Perseverance, secret of all triumphs.”

This quote is by Victor Hugo, a French politician and author who is best known for his novels Les Miserables and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Whenever I hear or read about someone or a group of people who have persevered, who have continued to strive despite difficulties and challenges, I find myself admiring them.  When I think of persevering, I usually think of accomplishments such as a person overcoming an addiction, someone going through treatment for a serious illness, the people who sacrificed their energy and time in the Civil Rights movement, and people rebuilding their home after it was destroyed by a natural disaster.  There are many other examples of people doing what is needed and not succumbing to the part of us that questions whether we can keep putting forth the effort.

It is important to recognize that perseverance is necessary in more day-to-day situations also.  Doing our best as parents to care for, be patient with, and spend quality time with our children; consistently making an effort to do well at our jobs; caretaking elderly parents; trying to be persons of integrity; and endeavoring to become more conscious all require perseverance as well.  Not giving up, not taking the easy way.

I think of my coworker who two years ago, when she was only 29 years old, was diagnosed with a type of cancer that is more difficult to treat than some other types.  She has endured the discomfort and sometimes pain caused by the cancer and also by the various courses of treatment, and she has persevered.  She attributes her ability to not give up to having loving and supportive people in her life and to the gift of faith she has been given.  She often expresses gratitude to the Creator for both.

I think of young women and men starting their first full-time jobs, getting used to this new aspect of being adults, and learning the work requirements, including the difficulty of sometimes learning by making mistakes.

I think of parents raising their children, making it a priority to spend time with them even after a long day at work; trying to be a good example for them; making decisions about what is best for them; and so many other aspects of parenting that require perseverance.

Victor Hugo’s quote speaks of triumphs.  Sometimes there are small triumphs along the way—my friend experiencing a reprieve when her cancer symptoms are easier to tolerate, a young adult feeling pleased about completing a project at work, parents seeing their love for their children reflected back to them by their children’s smiles and hugs–and seeing what a miracle their children are.

Doing what we need to do to persevere in various life situations is part of living a full and meaningful life.

Posted on

Love and Compassion Are Necessities

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”

These words by the Dalai Lama express how essential our ability to love and our ability to be compassionate are.  I’m thankful that many people have these qualities.  And I’m concerned that there are people who do not—or who are very limited in their ability to love and to have compassion.

There are many influences on people’s emotional and psychological development as they grow from infancy to adulthood.  As children, we are influenced by the other people in our lives, especially by our parents.  And over time by other family members, teachers, and various adults whom we see on a regular basis. Additional influences are our physical environment, life experiences—both expected and unexpected—and our genetic makeup, among others.

When we are treated with love and compassion as babies and during the childhood years, those virtues are much more likely to become a part of our nature throughout our lives.  Love and compassion also grow in us when we see, hear, and read about other people modeling these qualities.

I have the good fortune of living just a few miles from my nine-month-old grandson, and therefore I’m able to be with him every few days.  It has been a joy to see how he’s changed between each visit—so much happens in the early years of childhood.  He started crawling not long ago, and I can see how fun it is for him to have that ability to move about and explore.  It has also been a joy for me to see his smiles.  They are the smiles of a little one who is loved.  And there are many other children who are loved.  But some children are born into situations where their parents are limited in their ability to feel and express love and compassion.  This is often because their parents did not experience this type of nurturing themselves.  It is especially for children in these situations that we need to both have compassion and to model loving kindness in our words and actions.

As the Dalai Lama says, without love and compassion humanity cannot survive.  We all are part of helping humanity not only to survive but to thrive.  When we grow in consciousness, our ability to love and to be compassionate also increases.  By remembering that our words and actions have an effect on others, especially on children, we can be more watchful of what we do and say.  This is true whether our words and actions are directed toward a certain individual or whether they are observed by others.  And that observation is often by children when we aren’t even aware of it.

Let us all do our part to add to the love and compassion that are in our world.

Posted on

Being In Harmony

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

These words by Mahatma Gandhi are a perfect definition of happiness.  When our thoughts, words, and actions are in harmony, there is no dissonance.  We feel at peace, and peacefulness and happiness often occur together.

Endeavoring to live according to our values can be challenging.  Thinking about and liking the idea of living according to our values is one thing, but choosing to follow our inner guidance, which is shown by our actions, is another.  It requires courage, especially when some of our values are not embraced by people we care about, including family members and friends.  Sometimes we hold back from making changes that we believe we should make because we fear people will be critical of us, will try to convince us not to change, and/or will avoid us.

I’ve experienced some of these reactions at various times, including when I made the decision to stop eating meat.  A number of years ago, I had a dream which clearly gave me inner guidance to become a vegetarian.  I had never thought about being a vegetarian before that, but I knew it was the right thing for me to do.  Discerning the dream’s message also led to my reading about the many benefits of not eating meat.

When I was planning a visit to my parents the first time after making that decision, I let them know about it ahead of time.  My father was especially against my decision and tried to convince me that I was making a mistake.  I believe he was concerned I’d be missing nutrition he had been raised to believe was essential, but I also believe he didn’t like the idea of me being different.  Eventually my father stopped trying to change my mind, but there were a few months of discomfort between us as he struggled to accept the choice I had made.  I have never regretted following my dream’s direction, for there’s no question in my mind that I am a healthier person as a result.

A key Jungian concept is individuation, which can be defined as the inner process where a person grows in consciousness and becomes more whole.  We grow in consciousness by paying attention to our dreams and their symbolism, noting synchronicities and trying to discern their possible meaning, paying attention to unexpected occurrences and our reactions to and feelings about them, and trying to be aware of when projection is occurring and what it might be telling us about ourselves.  In addition to helping each of us to evolve as individuals, becoming more conscious increases our ability to care about and help others.

Endeavoring to do these things takes time and effort.  They are time well spent and effort worth making, for they lead to us to having a more purposeful and meaningful life, a more harmonious life.

Posted on

Transformation of Consciousness 

 

“When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness.”

This quote is by Joseph Campbell, an American author and professor of literature whose best-known book is The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

Joseph Campbell’s words express once again the truth that focusing on others instead of just on ourselves leads to a more genuine, fulfilling, and purposeful life, a life of greater consciousness.  When I say “once again,” I’m referring to the fact that this truth is emphasized by many religious traditions.  It has also been shown by people whose courageous words and actions have helped many others.  Some of these people are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Harriet Tubman, Mahatma Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln.  And by the words and actions of numerous other people who are not in the history books who also have given their energy and time in service to others.

Campbell’s words “heroic transformation” are significant.  It requires courage to be committed to  trying to discern our inner guidance and to try to follow that guidance.  That was clearly the case for the well-known people I listed above.  A degree of heroism is needed whenever we try to follow the inner promptings that leads us to greater consciousness.  And as we grow in consciousness, we are transformed, for we become more the persons we were created to be.

Posted on

Being in Nature Sooths and Heals

“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.”

This quote is by John Burroughs, a naturalist, nature essayist, and conservationist who lived from 1837 to 1921.

With the coming of spring, I think about nature more often because where I live the winters are cold, there is snow and ice, and the trees other than the evergreen trees shed their leaves in the fall.  So there is much change when spring arrives.  After the cold temperatures and decreased sunlight of winter, spring brings with it milder weather and later sunsets, and the beauty of the green leaves and grass and the early blooming flowers.  Various types of birds that migrated south in the fall return, and hearing their song is another special part of spring.  I’m thankful that in the urban area where I live there are many trees and grassland areas where I can take in the transformation that happens each spring.

As Burroughs says, being in nature can help to sooth and heal us.  Being outside in the fresh air and taking in the beauty around us is a healthy way to spend time, both physically and emotionally.  For many of us who stay busy with family, work, and other commitments, we may be limited for the amount of time we can be in nature.  But there are ways to observe nature around us every day.  Spending only 15 minutes in our yards or a nearby park.  Looking at the sky while on a bus.  Taking a short walk in the neighborhood where we live and seeing the trees, bushes, and flowers in the yards.  There are many ways to be in nature, even for short periods of time.

And when possible, try to be in nature for longer periods, such as by walking along a nature trail or going on a hike.  There is a nature trail near where I live that goes around a small lake.  When I have time to take that three-mile walk, in addition to enjoying seeing the trees and other vegetation, I often see small animals, such as rabbits, squirrels, and turtles.  I also enjoy seeing and hearing the various birds in the trees or flying about.

Burroughs saying that being in nature puts his senses in order makes me think about the peacefulness I experience when in nature.  It’s a time to slow down, to take a break from thinking about our obligations.  It refreshes and re-energizes us.  Being in nature truly is soothing and healing.