Author: Susan Schulte

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Growing in Awareness

“If we judge others, it is because we are judging something in ourselves of which we are unaware.”

This quote is by John A. Sanford who was a Jungian analyst, an Episcopal priest, a speaker, and the author of several books.  Reading his books has been of great help to me, and I highly recommend them to you.  Some of his books are Healing and Wholeness, Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language, The Kingdom Within: The Inner Meaning of Jesus’ Sayings, and Dreams and Healing.

Judging others is a tendency that most if not all people have.  We all have values and worldviews, and we often expect others to have values and worldviews similar to ours.  And when they don’t, we can fall into the trap of assuming there is something wrong with them.

When Sanford says “we are judging something in ourselves,” I’m reminded of psychological projection.  Projection occurs when we attribute to another person or group qualities and/or characteristics that might be a reflection of something about ourselves of which we are not conscious.

Because projection happens unconsciously, we do not control whether or when it occurs.  But we can try to notice when it has happened and then do some self-questioning:  Is it possible that what I don’t like about a certain person or group is an aspect of myself I hadn’t realized was there?  For example, if we notice ourselves being judgmental about someone we consider to be self-centered, upon reflection we might remember times when we too have been self-centered.  It’s far easier to notice what we consider to be faults of others than it is to see them in ourselves.

Having a strong emotional reaction to or about another person or group is often a signal that projection has occurred.  That emotional reaction can serve as a reminder to put some thought into what is very likely projection and then to learn from what we’ve discovered about ourselves.  The purpose of learning about ourselves isn’t to be down on ourselves but rather to assist us to change in positive ways by being watchful of negative tendencies we’ve discovered we have.

Sanford’s words “of which we are unaware” point to the importance of making efforts to grow in awareness.  Lack of awareness frequently causes harm to others.  Projection is the basis for prejudices against people with whom we disagree and against people who are different from us by race, ethnicity, sexual identity, age, faith tradition, etc.  Prejudice and the judging of others it leads to are often the basis for unjust laws and even are the cause of wars in addition to the hurt they causes to individuals in day-to-day interactions.

By making an effort to grow in awareness, we are less likely to judge others.  And we add to our self-knowledge which is the first step to making positive changes that decrease the chance that we might unconsciously cause harm to others.

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Letters from God 

“Dreams are like letters from God.  Isn’t it time you answered your mail?”

This quote is by Marie-Louise von Franz who was a Jungian analyst and the author of several books about analytical psychology.  She also collaborated with Carl Jung for many years.

Until I was in my mid-30s I didn’t think much about dreams.  If I remembered a dream in which something unusual happened or that in some other way caught my attention, l would wonder briefly why a dream like that might occur, but that would be the extent of my interest.  It wasn’t until I began therapy with a Jungian psychotherapist who I had sought out because I was struggling with some difficulties going on in my life that I learned that dreams have meaning.  In addition to my therapist and me talking about my dreams during our sessions, I started reading books about Jungian dream theory.  Most of the books I read were written by Jungian analysts who had years of experience meeting with clients and therefore who had heard thousands of dreams.  Hearing those dreams and discussing them with their clients enabled them to confirm Carl Jung’s writings about dreams and to expand upon his findings.

I have paid attention to my dreams ever since, including recording them in my journal.  Writing down one’s dreams is an important part of the process.  I also make note of any associations I have to people and places that appear in my dreams and of any other thoughts I have about each dream.  Jungian dream theory propounds that when people with whom we are familiar appear in our dreams, the great majority of the time the dreams are not about those people.  Instead, the people represent aspects of ourselves.  For example, a politician appeared in one of my dreams who has said and done things that make it clear he is egotistical, dishonest, and lacking in empathy and integrity.  Having learned that people who appear in dreams often symbolize aspects of the dreamer, I was at first disheartened that he was in my dream because of my negative associations to him.  But I also realized that my dream was reminding me that I too have a degree of those traits and to be watchful of them.  The dream was also a reminder that we all have dark aspects even though we don’t necessarily like to be reminded of them.

I’ve also had dreams in which people appeared who symbolize positive qualities, including creativity, generosity, empathy, courage, and respect for others.  When a person appears in my dream to whom I have positive associations, I’m reassured that I too have some degree of the qualities symbolized by that person.

So I appreciate von Franz’s creative description of dreams as being letters from God.  Just as it is important to read letters we receive, it is important to write down our dreams, contemplate them, and be thankful for them.  And I also appreciate her reminder to us to answer our mail.  In other words, to do our best to discern the possible messages and guidance of our dreams and then to integrate those messages and guidance into our daily living.

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Protecting the Environment

“Environment is no one’s property to destroy; it’s everyone’s responsibility to protect.”

This quote is by Mohith Agadi who is an author and entrepreneur who lives in India.

It can be disheartening when we find ourselves questioning whether the efforts of one person can make a difference when dealing with the large, global problem of climate change.  And yet those efforts do matter.  What would help the most is if many more people would make the effort for, as Agadi says, protecting the environment is everyone’s responsibility.

One of my motivations for recycling, reusing, donating items to programs that make them available to others, driving only when necessary, and in other ways decreasing my carbon footprint is that I care deeply about the quality of life of the children of our world, both in the present and when they are adults, and for all who will be born after them.  I also care about the people who live in poor countries who are experiencing climate disasters caused by global warming even though the people in those countries contribute far less to what causes global warming than we in the United States and other wealthy countries do.  In fact, I recently read that the average carbon footprint of people who live in the United States is four times that of people in the majority of other countries.  We share this earth with almost eight billion people.  The earth is also no one’s property to destroy.

I’m thankful that there are many programs whose purpose is to decrease the factors that contribute to climate change.  We are able to recycle glass and plastic containers, paper, and metal so that new products can be made from those materials.  Composted food and yard waste is turned into organic material that enriches the soil.  There are drop-off facilities that take batteries, electronics, paint, and many other products that are then disposed of responsibly and kept out of landfills.  There are numerous websites with information about the many ways each of us can do our part to help to protect the environment.

The majority of religious and spiritual traditions emphasize helping other people rather than thinking only of our own needs and wants.  Doing our part takes some time and effort.  But that is true of everything that matters.  I think of caring about the environment and doing my part as not only caring about improving air and water quality for myself and my loved ones, but also as yet another way to help other people, both those of us presently sharing this earth and also those of future generations.

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Begin with the Heart

“Where do we begin?  Begin with the heart.”

This quote is by Julian of Norwich, who was an English anchoress who lived in the 1300s.  An anchoress is a woman who led a prayerful, ascetic life and who withdrew from secular society to do so.  The word anchorite refers to a man who chose that way of life.  Julian is best known for her writings Revelations of Divine Love.

When I contemplate Julian’s words “begin with the heart,” I think of feelings that emanate instinctively from within.  I think of agape love, which is a love that desires the welfare of others and has no expectation of return.  And I think of the more personal love we have for people we know and are emotionally close to.  Her words also bring to mind spontaneous reactions as compared to planned responses. When we begin with the heart, we come from a place of genuine caring as a basis for decisions we make and for the way we respond to various life situations.

Most of our day-to-day activities involve using our thinking functions—figuring things out, planning, analyzing, using logic.  These abilities are essential for doing many things, from something as simple as preparing a grocery list to working on complex undertakings such as those that are required by certain professions.  Because thinking functions are necessary for many daily tasks and for many occupations, and because they are emphasized by western cultures, there is often a tendency to minimize the importance of our feelings and intuition.  And yet our feelings and intuitive promptings are also ways to experience aspects of life and are essential in helping us discern choices we make and responses to life happenings.

When we listen to our heart, we are more in touch with the guidance of our inner voice, and therefore more on our spiritual path.  That is what matters most.

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The Source Within

“There is a source within us that always works to bring things into the light.”

This quote is by John A. Sanford who was a Jungian analyst, an Episcopal priest, a speaker, and the author of several books.

One of the reasons I have been drawn to Jungian psychology is the way that many of its concepts correspond to religious teachings and spirituality.  And one of the reasons I think so highly of Dr. Sanford is his ability to clearly write about that interrelationship.

Sanford’s referring to a source within us is an example of that interrelationship.  The source within is the guidance we receive from our Creator which I often refer to as our inner voice.  That source is also the Self, a Jungian concept which can be defined as the larger reality that includes both the ego and the unconscious.  The Self provides energy, strength, and direction to the ego.  The Creator provides our life force which includes energy, strength, and direction.

Another key Jungian concept in addition to that of the Self is individuation.  Individuation is the inner process where we grow in consciousness and become more whole.  We grow in consciousness by integrating aspects of the unconscious that we learn from the symbols and stories of our dreams, from intuition, from synchronicities, and from unexpected occurrences.  And our dreams and intuition, synchronicities, and unexpected occurrences are all given to us by our Creator for the purpose of helping us to learn about ourselves.  Learning about ourselves enables us to change in positive ways that help us to live vital and purposeful lives.  As we become more individuated, we become more the persons we were created to be.  And we were created by our Creator.

Sanford’s words “bring things into the light” speaks to enlightenment.  When we are enlightened, we have a clearer understanding and awareness.  Just as in outer reality when lights make it possible for us to see whatever we’re looking at more clearly, in inner reality something brought into the light helps us to understand the guidance we’re being given.

I’m reminded of people I’ve known or read about who, through their actions and words, are people who are wise, courageous, empathic, and have other qualities that make it possible to live fulfilling lives.  They are not perfect, for no human being is.  But they clearly are on their spiritual path and are people who are individuating.  They are in touch with that source within us that brings things into the light.  This is possible for every one of us, and I encourage those who read this post to learn more about Jungian psychology so that they too will live more fulfilling lives.

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Everything in Life Has Purpose

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose.  There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

This quote is by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who was a psychiatrist, instructor, and author.  She is known for her studies and writings about near-death experiences, stages of grief, and her pioneering work to improve the lives of people who were terminally ill.  This work included her insights about hospice and palliative care and about treating people who were dying with dignity.  She wrote several books, the best known being On Death and Dying.

Dr. Kübler-Ross’ words “all events are blessings given to us to learn from” are a reminder that every day there are opportunities to add to our knowledge, including our self-knowledge, opportunities for which we need to be grateful.  As we go about each day, we learn from, among other things, our interactions with others and from unexpected happenings.  Sometimes those interactions and those happenings are enjoyable and therefore we welcome them.  At other times they can be difficult.  It takes an effort to feel grateful when we must deal with challenges and hardships, for our egos want to be “in control” and to avoid anything we dislike.  It is helpful to remind ourselves during those times that often it is only later, after the difficult period has passed, that we recognize how we gained from the experience.  Perhaps we will see that we put others before ourselves, had courage and/or perseverance and/or patience, were able to problem solve better than we thought we could, and in other ways learned about ourselves because of how we approached the difficulty.

As Kübler-Ross says, we learn from many aspects of life.  An example from my life is what I learned when I helped to care for my elderly mother when she needed to live at an assisted living residence during the last few years of her life.  My mother was fortunate that she had been able to live in her home until she was in her mid-90s.  Although she understood the need to have the assistance of caregivers when her ability to care for herself changed, it was still a difficult transition for her.  It was a priority of mine to spend time with her often, first of all because I loved her and also to give her companionship and to help her feel secure in knowing I would help her in any way I could.

Many adult children of elderly parents do as I did to be present with and assist their parents.  Through this experience, we learn that we are able to be generous with our time instead of thinking only for our needs and wants.  We also grow in empathy sensing the emotions our parents are feeling as the abilities they had when they were younger decrease, and we grow in patience, such as when we walk slowly down the hall with them to be sure they get that exercise.  And when our parents pass away, we have the gift of knowing we helped to make the last years of their earthly journey nicer for them.

The time spent with my mother also gave me practical knowledge about assisted living programs and what to expect if I need to live at one when I’m older.  The experience also has helped to motivate me to do what I can to maintain my health as long as possible by eating nutritiously, exercising, getting sufficient sleep, enjoying time with loved ones, staying active physically and mentally, and in other ways.

I encourage you to approach life in the way expressed by Dr. Kübler-Ross.  In doing so, you will live a more fulfilling and meaningful life, a life of learning every day.

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Heart Speaks to Heart

“The capacity for empathy leads to a genuine encounter—we have to progress toward this culture of encounter—in which heart speaks to heart.”

This quote is by Pope Francis, the present Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.

Empathy is one of the most valuable qualities each of us can possess.  A basic definition of empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  Pope Francis adds depth to this definition, particularly with his words “genuine encounter” and “heart speaks to heart.”

Being empathic is a gift we give to others.  When people share with us something they are struggling with, our ability to communicate our empathy is the most helpful thing we can do.  We do this by listening to them without distraction and by sensing from what they have told us what it must be like to experience what they are sharing.  This is the genuine encounter of which Pope Francis speaks.

A friend once told me about an experience she had that illustrates empathy.  She was feeling sadness and disappointment because she hadn’t been hired for a job for which she was highly qualified and for which she had been one of the candidates called back for a second interview.  When she shared with friends that she hadn’t been offered the job, some had responded by saying perhaps it was for the best or that she would most likely eventually get a job she liked just as well.  She told me she knew her friends meant well and that these statements might be true, but at the time they weren’t helpful.  Then she told me about another friend whose reaction was to spontaneously say “damn it” with great emphasis.  My friend told me that this friend’s heart-felt reaction caused her to feel understood, supported, and cared for.  It was an example of heart speaking to heart.

Having the ability to be empathic is not only essential to being present with people we know and care about, it also can extend more broadly to others.  The more that people have empathy about the life situations of other people in our world, the greater is the possibility that positive change can occur.  There would be less racism, sexism, ageism, and intolerance of every kind if more of us made the effort to put ourselves in other people’s places.  When I read Pope Francis’ words that we have to progress toward a culture of encounter, I thought about this more expansive effect of empathy.

Each of us should try our best to have empathy for others.  By doing so, we help people we know and care about and we also add to that which is positive in our world.

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Have Patience with All Things

“Have patience with all things.  But, first of all with yourself.”

This quote is by Saint Francis de Sales who lived in the 15th and 16th Centuries and was a Catholic prelate and the Bishop of Geneva.  He was also known for his writing about religious and spiritual topics.

Patience is one of those qualities that can be hard to come by and, therefore, that we should work at developing.  We tend to want to have quick solutions to problems and to complete tasks or projects so they’re off our minds.  But the reality is that quick solutions and fast completion of projects are often not possible, and we need to be more accepting of that reality.

There are frequently times when we need to be patient with other people.  When we find ourselves having difficulty being patient, it can be helpful to put ourselves in the other person’s place and treat her or him as we would want to be treated.  I think about an older person driving more slowly than we think they should but who needs to do that in order to drive safely.  Or a store clerk who isn’t checking out our order as fast as we want them to but who might be new at the job.  We can never know the full picture of other people’s situations, and they deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Being patient is especially important when dealing with children.  We need to keep in mind children’s developmental levels and to not have expectations for them to respond or act in ways that they are not able to until they’ve reached certain developmental levels.

And, as Saint Francis points out, we need to be patient with ourselves.  Part of being human is that there will be times when we will make mistakes and have regrets.  Thankfully, we can learn from our mistakes and, where possible, address regrets, such as by apologizing to someone we realize we inadvertently hurt or by explaining a misunderstanding.  We also need to be patient with ourselves as we try to make positive changes, to grow in consciousness, and to listen to our inner voice.  Remember to take things a step at a time and recognize that there will be times when we will need to repeat a step.

People’s impatience not only causes them stress, which is unhealthy for them, but it also is hurtful to others.  If we truly believe in the importance of fairness and caring about the wellbeing of others, we need to notice when we are being impatient, to not give ourselves excuses for that, to take a deep breath or two, and to remind ourselves to be calm.  And then to be patient with and forgive ourselves.  Everyone with whom we interact and each of us will benefit from our efforts.

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Becoming More Whole

“The goal of individuation is wholeness, as much as we can accomplish, not the triumph of the ego.”

This quote is by James Hollis, a Jungian analyst, author, and speaker.

Individuation is the process of growing in consciousness and becoming more whole, thereby becoming the unique person each of us was created to be.  Individuation isn’t completed in this life; Hollis‘ words “as much as we can accomplish” refer to this truth.  As we gradually gain in consciousness through the process of individuation, however, our lives become more authentic and we become more able to discern inner direction given to us by the Self (to use Jungian terminology) and by our Creator (to use spiritual terminology).  And as we become more conscious we are more able to follow that direction.  The proper role of our ego is not to triumph but instead to be in service to inner direction, to try our best to do the actions and make the changes that we discern.

Individuation, therefore, is the opposite of the ego triumphing.  When the ego triumphs, we become egocentric.  People who are egocentric think they’re in control, that they already have the answers and therefore have no need to listen to anyone, let alone their inner voice (of which they are most likely unaware).  As a result, their lives are stagnant rather than changing in positive ways.  Egocentric persons are cut off from the qualities that lead to a more meaningful life:  creativity, acceptance of challenges that life presents to help us grow in courage, perseverance, and other qualities, a sense of purpose, and times of genuine joy.

Some people, especially those who are naturally more intuitive, tend to live in a way that leads to individuation without needing to have a lot of knowledge about it.  By that I don’t mean it’s an easier process for them than for others, for there are always times of challenge and difficulty in order to grow in consciousness.

As a person who is naturally less intuitive, I had no awareness of the concept of becoming more conscious until I started meeting with a Jungian psychotherapist many years ago.  I was struggling to deal with some things going on in my life, and I made the decision to get help.  Through our work together and by reading books that my therapist recommended about Jungian psychology and other helpful topics, I not only received the help to deal with issues that led me to seeking out a therapist, but it was also the beginning of my growing in consciousness that has made my life more meaningful and purposeful during the time since and that will continue for as long as I am on my earthly journey.  And I believe that I was “led” to my excellent therapist by inner direction, even though at the time I wasn’t aware that was happening.  For that, I am very grateful.

The more each of us individuates and therefore becomes more whole, the less the ego triumphs.  This not only makes each of our lives matter more, it also has a positive impact on everyone with whom we interact.

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We Are Instruments of Divine Love

“I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa, a person who gave of herself as an individual and through the charitable organizations she founded that have assisted and continue to assist people experiencing some of life’s most difficult situations, including poverty and end-of-life illness.

There is a simplicity in the image Mother Teresa’s words portray, and yet her words express essential truths.  By being “a little pencil” in God’s hand, she—and, by extension, each of us—has a story to live given to us by our Creator.  That story consists of our Creator’s plan for us, and each day we should endeavor to discern and then to act on what that plan for us is.

Some of the ways to try to discern our Creator’s will are by paying attention to the symbols and stories of our dreams, being watchful of when psychological projection might be happening, noting possible meanings of unexpected occurrences, paying attention to intuitive promptings, and praying for God’s help as we make decisions and in all that we do.

Mother Teresa saying God “is sending a love letter to the world” is a reminder of our Creator’s love for us.  And that God works through us to share that love with others.  Love is expressed in many ways.  Some of those ways are by having empathy for others, being patient, acting with integrity, and being generous with our time and our abilities.  Sometimes our love for someone is shown by being assertive when that is what is needed.  There is agape love for people we don’t know as well as the more personal love we have for spouses and partners, our children and grandchildren.

By being open to our Creator working through us, we are instruments of Divine love.  We are part of the “love letter” from our Creator to the world.