Author: Susan Schulte

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” This prayer, known as the Serenity Prayer, was written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It is a well-known prayer in part because it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs.

The Serenity Prayer helps me to put things in perspective. As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I find myself wondering why there is so much that is wrong in our world, in particular the cruel things people do to each other, such as child, elder, and intimate partner abuse, hate crimes, and war. I feel for the innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace but happen to have been born in a war-torn country or a place where cruel acts based on racial or ethnic prejudice are common. And there are also the less obvious but too prevalent forms of cruelty such as people being involved in scams that steal money from vulnerable adults. Not only do I wonder why such cruelty exists, I also feel very limited in my ability to help people in those situations.

The Serenity Prayer helps me to accept that there are things I cannot directly change. Just as important, however, it also helps me to focus on and put energy toward doing the things I do have the ability to accomplish, or to work toward accomplishing, that help to make our world a better place. These include endeavoring to treat people with respect, to be patient, and to be fair. And to have humility, remembering that any positive qualities I have and any of my accomplishments are gifts from the Creator.

The Serenity Prayer also reminds me of the Jungian concept of individuation, the inner process where a person grows in consciousness and becomes more whole. Where the prayer refers to courage, I’m reminded that it takes courage to try to follow the direction we receive from our inner voice. And where the prayer refers to wisdom, I’m reminded of the wisdom of our inner voice that both gives us direction and also gives us the ability to try to follow that direction.

Many of the Jungian authors I have read believe that each person who becomes more conscious, who works toward individuation, helps our world. I pray and I believe that this is true.

“Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance. Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us. Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy. The root of joy is gratefulness.” These words were written by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, psychologist, and author. When I read them, I immediately related to what Brother David is expressing.

Many things can make us feel happy. Spending time with people we care about, doing work we enjoy, having something positive happen that we hadn’t anticipated, and volunteering for a cause we care about are a few of the many activities or experiences that can add to our feelings of happiness.

Brother David’s words “The root of joy is gratefulness” especially resonate with me. It is important to remind ourselves often of all that we have been given and for which we should be thankful. It only takes reading a headline or two to realize how blessed we are. We are thankful for the times when we are content and have a sense of well-being. But we also need to be thankful for the more difficult and challenging times, because those experiences and how we approach them help us to grow as individuals, to become more empathic, courageous, and caring. In fact, I have found that reminding myself that there is a reason I am being faced with a challenge—even if that reason isn’t clear at the time—helps me to take the steps to deal with the challenge.

By being genuinely grateful, we open our hearts to joy, “that extraordinary happiness” of which Brother David writes. We cannot make joy happen—it is pure gift. Being thankful for our blessings and not taking them for granted help to prepare us to receive the gift of joy.

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” I smiled when I read this quote by poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou. I can certainly say the same about myself, and I believe every one of us, no matter our age, life experience, or education, always has more to learn. It’s important that we recognize this truth in order to live life more fully and to have a healthy degree of humility.

There are some people who are not open to learning because they think they have all the answers already. It’s too bad for them because they limit themselves by being that way. They miss out on those moments of discovery and clarity that being open to new ideas makes possible. Many of them also limit the possibility of having close relationships because it’s difficult to be with people who are that egotistic.

One way we learn is by reading well written books, both fiction and nonfiction. We as readers can find out more about certain topics and aspects of life by reading nonfiction, and we can vicariously live thoughts and actions of characters in fiction works. Those characters can model integrity, courage, sacrifice, and love, among many other qualities. I recently read an article about research studies that have found reading to be one of the most effective activities we can do to keep our brains healthy. Although I believe there’s a place for entertainment, it concerns me that, because of what modern technology makes available to us, many people no longer read but instead watch videos and play games during their free time.

We also learn from life experiences, such as dealing with challenges. We learn from our interactions with others and by simply noticing what is going on around us. And, as I have written in many of my posts, we learn from the symbolism and stories of our dreams, from synchronicities, and from intuitive promptings. These happenings broaden our minds and touch our hearts if we are open to what they can teach us.

In his book How to Defend Yourself Without Even Trying, author Dr. Terry Chitwood says this about intuition: “Intuition is a direct channel from your spirit. Spirit is the part of you that knows no limitations and is connected to a power greater than itself.”

As with all qualities, some people are naturally more intuitive than others. I am more a sensing type, someone who pays attention to physical reality, notices facts, and sees practical uses for things. A person who is more intuitive, on the other hand, tends to pay attention to impressions and to think about new possibilities and about the future. People who are intuitive generally are more creative, a quality that I admire.

I am more aware of promptings from my intuition than I used to be. My work with a Jungian therapist, the reading it led me to by authors who write about Jungian and related ideas, including spirituality, and learning about and experiencing how dreams are meaningful have all helped me to be more intuitive. I’m thankful for that because, as Dr. Chitwood writes, intuition is a connection to our spirit, and that connection is essential to living a life that has purpose and meaning.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” This quotation by Mother Teresa is a reminder of something all of us can readily do that has a positive effect on other people: taking a minute to say something thoughtful.

Two words that I appreciate hearing are “Thank you.” There are many interactions among people, including family members and coworkers, where this simple acknowledgment means a lot. Saying “thank you” shows we don’t take for granted what another person has done for us. Other examples of kind words are complimenting people on a job well done, encouraging people who are working toward a goal, and giving words of comfort to someone who is grieving. Mother Teresa’s words “their echoes are truly endless” make me think about how, when someone says something kind to me, it not only results in my feeling valued in that moment, but also at other times when I recall what was said.

It is essential, of course, that we be sincere when saying such words. If we aren’t sincere, it’s better to say nothing. But I think sometimes when people are busy and absorbed in what they are doing they neglect to thank, compliment, encourage, and comfort. It’s important to look at ourselves and see if that’s the case. And, if so, to make an effort to change.

Kind words, genuinely stated, not only brighten the day for the person to whom they are spoken, kind words also send positive energy into the world. And certainly the more positive energy there is in our world, the better!

As we go about our daily activities—working, raising children, completing tasks—it can be easy to take for granted how fortunate we are. It’s important, however, that we remember and are thankful for our blessings. It’s also important to remember these words of Jesus: “Every one to whom much is given, of that person will much be expected.” Luke 12:48.

When I’m struggling with trying to follow inner direction, remembering those words helps me. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, my ego wishes I didn’t need to go to work that day, or to try to write, or to follow through with my other responsibilities. I just want to be lazy. At those times it helps me to think about how much I have been given. I have friends who have been laid off when there were staff reductions, I know people who are going through painful treatment for serious illnesses, and I know others who are lonely and long to be in a committed relationship. I haven’t had to experience any of these things. I pray that if I ever do, I’ll have the faith and courage to do what I need to do. I’m thankful I have a job, I’m thankful I have good health, and I’m thankful that there are people who love me.

Remembering these and my many other blessings helps me to recognize those times when I’m struggling and to say to my ego who would rather be idle that that is the wrong choice. I recognize that I have been given much and it’s essential that I try to do what is expected of me by our Creator. For by endeavoring to follow my inner voice, I take steps toward becoming the person I was created to be.