Author: Susan Schulte

Saint Teresa of Avila was a nun, mystic, author, and religious reformer who lived in the sixteenth century. She wrote about many spiritual topics, and one of the things she said about prayer is: “For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.”

When I was a child, my parents and religious instruction teachers taught me and had me memorize prayers such as the Lord’s Prayer, the Hail Mary, and many others. For much of my childhood my parents and siblings said the rosary together most evenings. The other type of prayer I learned about when I was young was to pray for things I hoped would happen, such as that a sick family member would get well or that I would be given something I wanted to have.

It wasn’t until I became an adult that my prayers became more personal, more like what Saint Teresa describes. Although I believe there is a place for traditional prayers and prayer services, I find personal prayers to be more meaningful. The idea of “friendship with God” helps me to remember that the Creator is always listening, always present. I’ve lived long enough to know that what I want to happen isn’t what matters most, so I’ve come to include the words “that Your will be done” when I pray. I pray for people I know and love, and I pray for all the people in our world. I pray for certain causes and I pray for myself, that I will follow my inner voice and spiritual direction.

I share my ideas about prayer and also what Saint Teresa said in the hopes it will help others to have a more meaningful prayer life.

Earlier today I found myself thinking about some of the sad things that occur in our world and feeling discouraged that there isn’t more I can do to help. Then I came across these words by Mother Teresa: “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” Her words helped me.

In another post I wrote about the Serenity Prayer. When I’m feeling down because of limitations of what I’m able to do, I need to listen to the inner wisdom that helps me to know the difference between those things I cannot change and those that I can. So the answer is not to give up because of the enormity of some of the problems, but to discern as best we can what it is we are supposed to try to do. And then try to do it. And by doing so, to add to the “ocean” of love and compassion for others.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” This prayer, known as the Serenity Prayer, was written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It is a well-known prayer in part because it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs.

The Serenity Prayer helps me to put things in perspective. As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I find myself wondering why there is so much that is wrong in our world, in particular the cruel things people do to each other, such as child, elder, and intimate partner abuse, hate crimes, and war. I feel for the innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace but happen to have been born in a war-torn country or a place where cruel acts based on racial or ethnic prejudice are common. And there are also the less obvious but too prevalent forms of cruelty such as people being involved in scams that steal money from vulnerable adults. Not only do I wonder why such cruelty exists, I also feel very limited in my ability to help people in those situations.

The Serenity Prayer helps me to accept that there are things I cannot directly change. Just as important, however, it also helps me to focus on and put energy toward doing the things I do have the ability to accomplish, or to work toward accomplishing, that help to make our world a better place. These include endeavoring to treat people with respect, to be patient, and to be fair. And to have humility, remembering that any positive qualities I have and any of my accomplishments are gifts from the Creator.

The Serenity Prayer also reminds me of the Jungian concept of individuation, the inner process where a person grows in consciousness and becomes more whole. Where the prayer refers to courage, I’m reminded that it takes courage to try to follow the direction we receive from our inner voice. And where the prayer refers to wisdom, I’m reminded of the wisdom of our inner voice that both gives us direction and also gives us the ability to try to follow that direction.

Many of the Jungian authors I have read believe that each person who becomes more conscious, who works toward individuation, helps our world. I pray and I believe that this is true.

“Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance. Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us. Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy. The root of joy is gratefulness.” These words were written by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, psychologist, and author. When I read them, I immediately related to what Brother David is expressing.

Many things can make us feel happy. Spending time with people we care about, doing work we enjoy, having something positive happen that we hadn’t anticipated, and volunteering for a cause we care about are a few of the many activities or experiences that can add to our feelings of happiness.

Brother David’s words “The root of joy is gratefulness” especially resonate with me. It is important to remind ourselves often of all that we have been given and for which we should be thankful. It only takes reading a headline or two to realize how blessed we are. We are thankful for the times when we are content and have a sense of well-being. But we also need to be thankful for the more difficult and challenging times, because those experiences and how we approach them help us to grow as individuals, to become more empathic, courageous, and caring. In fact, I have found that reminding myself that there is a reason I am being faced with a challenge—even if that reason isn’t clear at the time—helps me to take the steps to deal with the challenge.

By being genuinely grateful, we open our hearts to joy, “that extraordinary happiness” of which Brother David writes. We cannot make joy happen—it is pure gift. Being thankful for our blessings and not taking them for granted help to prepare us to receive the gift of joy.

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” I smiled when I read this quote by poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou. I can certainly say the same about myself, and I believe every one of us, no matter our age, life experience, or education, always has more to learn. It’s important that we recognize this truth in order to live life more fully and to have a healthy degree of humility.

There are some people who are not open to learning because they think they have all the answers already. It’s too bad for them because they limit themselves by being that way. They miss out on those moments of discovery and clarity that being open to new ideas makes possible. Many of them also limit the possibility of having close relationships because it’s difficult to be with people who are that egotistic.

One way we learn is by reading well written books, both fiction and nonfiction. We as readers can find out more about certain topics and aspects of life by reading nonfiction, and we can vicariously live thoughts and actions of characters in fiction works. Those characters can model integrity, courage, sacrifice, and love, among many other qualities. I recently read an article about research studies that have found reading to be one of the most effective activities we can do to keep our brains healthy. Although I believe there’s a place for entertainment, it concerns me that, because of what modern technology makes available to us, many people no longer read but instead watch videos and play games during their free time.

We also learn from life experiences, such as dealing with challenges. We learn from our interactions with others and by simply noticing what is going on around us. And, as I have written in many of my posts, we learn from the symbolism and stories of our dreams, from synchronicities, and from intuitive promptings. These happenings broaden our minds and touch our hearts if we are open to what they can teach us.