“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
This quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, who was an American essayist, philosopher, minister, abolitionist, and poet who lived in the 1800s.
The emotion of anger is complex. Some people get angry often, including for what most of us would consider overreactions to whatever they are angry about. Many people have been hurt emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically by other people’s inability to control their words and actions when they are angry. In my years working as a crisis line counselor, people called who were in relationships where there was domestic abuse. Not only were the adults harmed but children in the household were also, whether directly or by seeing and hearing the abuse. Another place where anger is commonly displayed is on the internet when some people spew out hateful and threatening words. These are examples of unhealthy anger.
There is also anger that we feel in response to unjust or mean treatment of others, sometimes referred to as righteous anger. This is the type of anger that Jesus expressed when merchants were exploiting pilgrims in the temple rather than respecting it as the house of prayer, and also when the Pharisees prioritized following ritual rather than having concern about others, such as when they criticized Jesus for healing seriously ill people on the Sabbath. Anger that is felt as a result of racial and other types of prejudice, innocent people being killed in unnecessary wars, and people being victims of crime are other forms of righteous anger. Righteous anger is healthy anger.
Emerson’s words caught my attention because of the way they express what we lose when we’re angry—we lose time that can be spent in much better ways. As he says, we lose time when instead we could be happy; I would add that when we’re angry we lose time when instead we could feel peaceful and caring.
I’m quite sure that Emerson would agree that anger is not an easy emotion to control for some people. Often those people who take out their anger on others observed that behavior when they were children and it became a learned response. Some studies show that there can be a genetic component for some people. People who have difficulty controlling their anger are often helped by working with a counselor and/or attending group therapy or a support group. Acknowledging that there is a problem and reaching out for help require courage, and thankfully those who learn to deal with their anger not only help themselves to have a higher quality of life but also help the people who care about them.
Healthy anger, on the other hand, has been the impetus for many causes whose purpose is to work toward educating others, providing support and resources for victims of anger, enacting laws, and in other ways helping people. When the energy of concern-based anger is channeled in these positive ways, people’s lives are improved.
Let’s remember Emerson’s words and do all we can to decrease unhealthy anger and increase happiness.