My mother is 99 years old and thankfully was able to live in her home until she was 94, living there by herself eight years after my father passed away. Since then she has lived in an assisted living apartment. The transition from living independently to living in an assisted living facility or nursing home is usually difficult for people, understandably so. They miss the familiarity of their home, friends, and routine, and find themselves in entirely different surroundings, with people they don’t know. The transition was difficult for my mother but, I’m happy to say, she is generally content now.
Whenever I see that someone new has moved onto Mom’s floor, I say a prayer for that person. The reason each person needs to be there is unique to him or her—sometimes there are cognitive changes, sometimes physical limitations, and sometimes both. But no matter what the reason for needing to move there, I doubt that it’s an easy life change.
I recently heard someone who is in her 70s and whose mother is in her 90s complaining about the time it takes to visit her mother and do tasks for her, such as taking care of her finances and purchasing items her mother needs. One of the reasons the person gave was that she herself is getting older and it might not be long before she will need someone to take care of her. She resented that helping her mother resulted in less time being available to do things she would rather do.
If I have a long life and need to live in assisted living someday, I hope there will be people who want to visit me and to assist me with those things I can no longer do on my own. I spend time with my mother because I love her, but also to follow the teaching of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). This maxim applies to many situations. If our inner direction is to do certain things we would rather not do, try not to focus on the inconvenience. A life of only ease and comfort is not a meaningful life.