Category: PersonalGrowth

“Each one has to find peace from within.  And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”  When I read this quotation by Mahatma Gandhi, I thought about how inner peace, like faith, is a gift from the Creator.  Although it is a gift, we need to honor it by preparing for and nurturing this gift.  We do that by trying to hear and follow the guidance of our inner voice.

Feeling peaceful isn’t the same as feeling happy.  People can have a sense of inner peace during difficult and sad times as well as during the more serene times.  I believe that is what Gandhi meant when he said real peace is not affected by outside circumstances.  True peace is part of our inner reality no matter what is happening in outer reality.  Growing in consciousness adds to peacefulness.  Jungian psychotherapists write about how clients they’ve assisted and they themselves have found that endeavoring to become a more conscious person has resulted in more serenity within.

When I read Gandhi’s quote, I also thought about this verse from the New Testament where Jesus says:  “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid” (John 14:27).  Gandhi’s statement that real peace is not affected “by outside circumstances” is similar to Jesus saying the peace of which he speaks is not “as the world gives.”  They both refer to peace having an inner source.  Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that if only a person we know would change or we had a different job or something from the past hadn’t happened, and so on, we would then have what we need to feel more peaceful.  When we have such thoughts, we need to remind ourselves that true peace does not result from such outer happenings.

My prayer is that all of us will receive, cherish, and nurture the gift of peace.

Twila Paris is a singer, songwriter, and author who has written and recorded many songs based on Christian teachings.  She is creative and talented, and I enjoy listening to the messages of her songs.

One of my favorites is entitled “Undivided Heart” and includes these lyrics:  “Give me an undivided heart; make a new spirit in me.”  For me, having an undivided heart means having the correct spiritual focus, which is possible by being able to discern the right actions to do and words to say in order to be on our spiritual path, and then choosing to do those actions and speak those words.

Because none of us is perfect, we’re not always able to make the correct discernment.  Thus, the need to pray for help from our Creator, just as the words of the song do.  We are often pulled in different directions by family and friends, by the requirements of our work, by societal pressure, and by our ego desires.  For most of us, there are many options from which to choose that affect the decisions we make, and there are many things that can distract us from following our path.

For all of these reasons, it’s essential to try to listen to our inner voice for guidance.  Each time we make this effort, we come closer to having the undivided heart and the new spirit of which Twila Paris sings.

Earlier this evening I looked out the window and saw the sky had become overcast and darker, and I wondered whether it might rain.  A few minutes later it did start raining, quite a downpour, with wind gusts and some lightning and thunder in the distance.  A little later the wind calmed down and the rain became lighter and continued to fall for about a half hour before moving on.  I stood by the screen door to watch the rain coming down and also to hear the sound of it and to smell the freshness that a rainfall brings.

I’ve written several posts about the importance of our connection with nature, usually emphasizing the beauty that we see—the sky, the trees, the animals and birds.  But there are also the sounds and aromas that are part of that connection.  And the sense of touch too, such as when we feel a breeze or the warmth of the sun.  Hearing, seeing, and smelling the rain this evening reminded me of how thankful I am that I’m able to hear and to see and to smell.

It also reminded me of the admiration I have for people who have adapted to not having one or more of the physical senses.  When I see people who are blind walking with a cane, I’m impressed not only with how they have adjusted to not being able to see, but also by their courage.  When I’m at presentations there is usually someone signing for those attending who are deaf, and again I am impressed by the many people who have not let their inability to hear hold them back.

Another thought that came to me this evening as I watched and listened to the rain was how it can be symbolic of life experiences.  Sometimes we find ourselves facing unexpected and difficult challenges that can feel overwhelming and frightening.  The downpour, wind gusts, lightning, and thunder reflected those situations.  And other times things go more smoothly as reflected by the gentle rain, those periods when we feel peaceful.  The quieter times enable us to recognize that going through the more difficult times helps us to grow in qualities such as courage, perseverance, and selflessness.

Embracing both the stormy times and the calmer times helps us to follow our individual life paths and become more whole and grounded persons.

“Compassion brings inner peace and, whatever else is going on, that peace of mind allows us to see the whole picture more clearly.”  This quote by the Dalai Lama is one of many where he speaks about compassion and peace, reminding us of how important these qualities are both for ourselves individually and also for others with whom we interact.  And for the world in general.

I thought about the Dalai Lama’s words after attending a meeting of coworkers and administrative staff today.  During part of the meeting, those attending were invited to express concerns or feedback about aspects of their work.  A young woman had several complaints about administrative staff not dealing with certain work situations as the woman expected them to, and she made generalizations and had what seemed to me to be unrealistic expectations.  She spoke in a demanding and sometimes angry tone of voice.

I had a couple reactions as I listened to her.  One reaction was feeling some compassion for her that she felt the way she did.  I also noticed, however, that her being critical of others and having a demanding tone of voice weren’t helpful in resolving the problem.  A more compassionate approach would have enabled her to have the peace of mind to see the various aspects of the situation.  Had she stated what had happened that concerned her, asked questions, and been open to listening to the perspectives of others involved, she would have been better able to see the larger picture.

I think it’s important to be assertive when a situation calls for it, but a person can be assertive while also being considerate and empathic.  Talking about problems in that way is far more effective and gives the other person or persons an invitation to respond with information that can clarify the issue, set forth present limitations, and describe what changes might be possible.

The incident that I’ve shared is just one of the many that occur in our world every day where the lack of the compassion of which the Dalai Lama speaks greatly decreases the chance of an effective outcome.  Each of us trying to be more compassionate will make a great difference both in our day-to-day interactions with others and in larger causes as well.

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”  These words of Jesus appear in Matthew 10:16 of the New Testament.  Jesus is speaking to his disciples as he directs them to travel to other cities and regions and to share the teachings he has taught to them.  As they travel and teach, some people will welcome them but others will not and will even try to harm them, which is why Jesus gives them the serious counsel he does.

When I am trying to discern how to approach a certain situation or undertaking, I remind myself of Jesus’ words, especially the guidance to be wise as serpents.  Wisdom is one of the attributes snakes symbolize in dreams, art, and literature.  Something I’ve needed to work on over the years is my tendency to be a “good girl.”  Good girls, and there are good boys too, are people who have a strong need for approval from others.  In order to acquire that approval, they readily say yes to requests or agree with what someone else says rather than giving it some thought before responding.  For many of us, it’s a holdover from having been children for whom obedience came easily.  But there’s a difference between being an obedient child and being an adult who uses the intelligence and wisdom he or she has been given.

Our inner voice is the source of wisdom that will help us to make decisions and guide our actions.  Therefore, it’s essential to try to listen to that voice and act on what we discern.  Doing so will enable us to be on our paths and to do those things we were created to do.

Many religious traditions teach the same or similar beliefs.  There’s an overlap in the truths they impart.  Some of these teachings are that there is an all-knowing and all-powerful divine presence and that having compassion, being humble, avoiding being judgmental, and helping others are qualities we should embrace.

Some people find it hard to believe in a divine presence.  In my work as a crisis line counselor, people sometimes call about their struggles with addiction and trying to maintain sobriety.  Although thankfully many people have been helped by attending Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, some tell me they don’t consider attending those programs because they don’t believe in a higher power.  I understand having doubts.  Although I was raised in a religious tradition and attended worship services and religious instruction classes regularly throughout my childhood and teen years, I went through a period of questioning when I was in my 20s.  Questioning when a person is a young adult is natural to that time of life.  And it can happen at any age.  Most religious traditions have compassion for people as they struggle with their beliefs.

In modern western society, the rational/materialistic approach to life is emphasized.  Using our rational thinking abilities is essential for many tasks.  But the thinking, analytic function definitely does not provide all the answers.  There are many subjective, intangible aspects of life for which there are not clear, concise, objective explanations.  Some people ridicule a person who says there are not obvious explanations and that at times we do well to accept that there are mysteries.

Having faith is a gift from the Creator, the divine presence.  Although we are not directly in control of when we will be given that gift, it is important that we “prepare the soil,” so to speak, to receive it.  Trying to follow the almost universal teachings of having compassion, not judging others, having humility, and not thinking only of our needs and wants but remembering we are part of the human community are ways to do that.

Be open to the divine.  Then prepare the soil to receive the gift of faith, to care for it, and to help it grow.

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”

One of the things I pray for is courage, courage to face the challenges that come my way.  And courage to embrace the truth that challenges and difficulties are an essential aspect of living.  As much as I know intellectually and from experience that there are times when we all must grieve the passing of loves ones, feel the disappointment of unexpected setbacks, experience illness, and deal with other challenges, there is a part of me that questions why this must be so.  The words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. which I quoted above help me to see that there is a purpose to enduring hardship.

Dr. King and many other people displayed great courage during the civil rights movement.  Their brave words and actions and their perseverance paved the way for many people to have more opportunities and better lives.  Their example gives us guidance and hope.  As does the life of Harriett Tubman.  She endured much suffering when she was a slave, was able to escape, and then, at significant risk to herself, helped many other people escape slavery through the underground railroad.  Other people also risked their lives to help people gain freedom in this way.

The Jungian concept of individuation where we become more whole and self-actualized persons through the integration of unconscious content into consciousness certainly involves challenges.  We become aware of unconscious content from dreams, synchronicities, intuition, and meaningful life experiences, and this awareness often requires that we take actions that are difficult to do.  The difficulty is caused by our egos not wanting to follow the direction of the Self or inner voice.  It’s hard for our egos to give up control, even though in reality that sense of control is illusory.  In order to continue to grow in consciousness and therefore to have more meaningful lives, however, it is essential that we do our best to follow the inner direction we discern, despite our fears.  Just as Harriett Tubman, Martin Luther King, Jr., and many others have done.

By doing so, we go through the darkness that leads to the starlight.

“The voice of my grandfather said to me, the air is precious. It shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave me my first breath also received my last sigh. You must keep the land and air apart and sacred, as a place where one can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.”

These beautiful words were spoken by Chief Seattle, part of a speech he made during negotiations with the U.S. government on behalf of white settlers, “negotiations” where the Native people had basically no say. He was chief of the Suquamish and Duwamish Indians in the Pacific Northwest in the mid-1800s. Even as he and his people were having their land taken from them, he asked that those who would live there after them cherish and take care of that land and water and air.

I am sometimes reminded of Chief Seattle’s words when I’m spending time outdoors. It’s early spring as I write this. Some of the migrating birds have returned and I have the pleasure of seeing them and hearing their songs. In spring there is also the gradually increasing daylight, with the sun rising earlier and setting later. And there is the aroma of budding greenery and flowers. Although I live in an urban area, there is a small lake nearby that has a walking path around it, and I enjoyed taking that walk today. It was a sunny day and it was invigorating to take a brisk walk in the fresh air.

The cloudless blue sky today reminded me of these words from Chief Seattle’s speech: “How can you buy the sky? How can you own the rain and the wind?” For the sky and the rain and the wind and so many other aspects of nature belong to all of us.

Recognizing and valuing our connection to nature add to our wellbeing. Even if we live in urban areas and aren’t able to leave the city very often, we can see the sky and the sun and the clouds—they are a connection to nature too. I’m thankful that many urban planners and decision-makers recognize the importance of having green spaces within cities so those of us living there can walk along tree-lined streets and spend time in parks. We should value our connection to nature of which Chief Seattle spoke so profoundly and do our part to care for these gifts, not only for ourselves but for those who come after us. For he also said, “Preserve the land and the air and the rivers for your children’s children and love it as we have loved it.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” When I read these truths expressed by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I thought about symbolism of light.

I picture a sunrise, the start of a new day. And how each new day is a new beginning and an opportunity to make good choices and do right actions. I think of the light of understanding, compassion, empathy, justice, and love. Just as the sunrise appears as the night ends and replaces the darkness with light, these qualities diminish and help to drive away close-mindedness, bigotry, complacency, selfishness, and hate.

History records many major movements where light drove out darkness: the end of slavery, peace accords, and civil rights and equal rights laws, to name a few. These achievements started with individual persons making choices and then working with others who had similar visions. It took courage, persistence, and empathy for the suffering of others. And those same qualities are needed today as we endeavor to make this a better world.

Each day each one of us can do our part to decrease where darkness is present. We do that by treating others with respect and by acting with integrity. We do that by trying to hear and follow our inner voice. And we do that through prayer and by growing in consciousness. Embrace each opportunity to add to the light and the love in our world.

As I have written in other posts, my elderly mother has lived in an assisted living apartment for about six years. Both she and I are thankful she was able to live independently in her home until she was 94 years old. She is now 100, which is quite amazing. However, as a result of both cognitive and physical changes this past year, my mother requires considerably more assistance from staff than she did the first few years living there.

I would like to say thank you to staff who work at assisted living facilities and nursing homes. There are aspects of their jobs that are very difficult and other aspects that are mundane and repetitive. Staff need to have patience, such as when they feed and bathe people who can no longer do those things for themselves. At other times staff need to act quickly, such as when helping someone who has fallen and been injured. Employees at these facilities do not earn very much money and yet the services they provide are essential. For we count on them to take care of the people we love who can no longer take care of themselves.

As in all occupations, some employees are more invested in what they do and more able to carry out their job duties well. So I am realistic and I do not suggest that all assisted living and nursing home staff are equally dedicated, qualified, and skilled. But many do have those qualities. I’m always impressed at how some of the staff are as positive as they are. They are “naturals” at doing the work they do. Their cheerfulness makes it nicer for the people they care for and helps them to feel better. For this I am very thankful.