Category: PersonalGrowth

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” I smiled when I read this quote by poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou. I can certainly say the same about myself, and I believe every one of us, no matter our age, life experience, or education, always has more to learn. It’s important that we recognize this truth in order to live life more fully and to have a healthy degree of humility.

There are some people who are not open to learning because they think they have all the answers already. It’s too bad for them because they limit themselves by being that way. They miss out on those moments of discovery and clarity that being open to new ideas makes possible. Many of them also limit the possibility of having close relationships because it’s difficult to be with people who are that egotistic.

One way we learn is by reading well written books, both fiction and nonfiction. We as readers can find out more about certain topics and aspects of life by reading nonfiction, and we can vicariously live thoughts and actions of characters in fiction works. Those characters can model integrity, courage, sacrifice, and love, among many other qualities. I recently read an article about research studies that have found reading to be one of the most effective activities we can do to keep our brains healthy. Although I believe there’s a place for entertainment, it concerns me that, because of what modern technology makes available to us, many people no longer read but instead watch videos and play games during their free time.

We also learn from life experiences, such as dealing with challenges. We learn from our interactions with others and by simply noticing what is going on around us. And, as I have written in many of my posts, we learn from the symbolism and stories of our dreams, from synchronicities, and from intuitive promptings. These happenings broaden our minds and touch our hearts if we are open to what they can teach us.

In his book How to Defend Yourself Without Even Trying, author Dr. Terry Chitwood says this about intuition: “Intuition is a direct channel from your spirit. Spirit is the part of you that knows no limitations and is connected to a power greater than itself.”

As with all qualities, some people are naturally more intuitive than others. I am more a sensing type, someone who pays attention to physical reality, notices facts, and sees practical uses for things. A person who is more intuitive, on the other hand, tends to pay attention to impressions and to think about new possibilities and about the future. People who are intuitive generally are more creative, a quality that I admire.

I am more aware of promptings from my intuition than I used to be. My work with a Jungian therapist, the reading it led me to by authors who write about Jungian and related ideas, including spirituality, and learning about and experiencing how dreams are meaningful have all helped me to be more intuitive. I’m thankful for that because, as Dr. Chitwood writes, intuition is a connection to our spirit, and that connection is essential to living a life that has purpose and meaning.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” This quotation by Mother Teresa is a reminder of something all of us can readily do that has a positive effect on other people: taking a minute to say something thoughtful.

Two words that I appreciate hearing are “Thank you.” There are many interactions among people, including family members and coworkers, where this simple acknowledgment means a lot. Saying “thank you” shows we don’t take for granted what another person has done for us. Other examples of kind words are complimenting people on a job well done, encouraging people who are working toward a goal, and giving words of comfort to someone who is grieving. Mother Teresa’s words “their echoes are truly endless” make me think about how, when someone says something kind to me, it not only results in my feeling valued in that moment, but also at other times when I recall what was said.

It is essential, of course, that we be sincere when saying such words. If we aren’t sincere, it’s better to say nothing. But I think sometimes when people are busy and absorbed in what they are doing they neglect to thank, compliment, encourage, and comfort. It’s important to look at ourselves and see if that’s the case. And, if so, to make an effort to change.

Kind words, genuinely stated, not only brighten the day for the person to whom they are spoken, kind words also send positive energy into the world. And certainly the more positive energy there is in our world, the better!

As we go about our daily activities—working, raising children, completing tasks—it can be easy to take for granted how fortunate we are. It’s important, however, that we remember and are thankful for our blessings. It’s also important to remember these words of Jesus: “Every one to whom much is given, of that person will much be expected.” Luke 12:48.

When I’m struggling with trying to follow inner direction, remembering those words helps me. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, my ego wishes I didn’t need to go to work that day, or to try to write, or to follow through with my other responsibilities. I just want to be lazy. At those times it helps me to think about how much I have been given. I have friends who have been laid off when there were staff reductions, I know people who are going through painful treatment for serious illnesses, and I know others who are lonely and long to be in a committed relationship. I haven’t had to experience any of these things. I pray that if I ever do, I’ll have the faith and courage to do what I need to do. I’m thankful I have a job, I’m thankful I have good health, and I’m thankful that there are people who love me.

Remembering these and my many other blessings helps me to recognize those times when I’m struggling and to say to my ego who would rather be idle that that is the wrong choice. I recognize that I have been given much and it’s essential that I try to do what is expected of me by our Creator. For by endeavoring to follow my inner voice, I take steps toward becoming the person I was created to be.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” When I read this quotation by poet, singer, and civil rights activist Maya Angelou, I thought about how courage is required of us for what might be considered relatively minor situations as well as for more serious ones. Something I experienced many years ago is an example of this.

Within the first year that I began meeting with a Jungian psychotherapist, reading books about Jungian concepts, and recording my dreams, I had this dream: I see some people sitting around a table and there is a platter in the middle of the table with a pig on it that appears to have been cooked. One of the people picks up a carving knife and begins cutting a slice of the meat, and the pig moves and makes a sound. To my horror, I realize the pig isn’t dead. I understood this dream to be inner direction to stop eating meat, and I have been a vegetarian since having the dream 30 years ago.

It took courage for me to become a vegetarian, not because it was difficult to stop eating meat, but because of criticism for my decision from people I care about. I grew up in a rural town where farming and raising animals to be sold for meat were the main occupations and sources of income. My grandparents farmed and my father had farmed as a young man. So my father found it especially hard to understand why I would make this decision, and he made efforts to change my mind. I love my father and I think he might also have been concerned that a person couldn’t be healthy without eating meat. Even though I was in my 30s, my father’s opinions still affected me, and it wasn’t easy to go against his ideas of what was best. Other family members and some friends also questioned my choice.

So, as I said, it took some courage for me to stay with my decision. None of my friends were vegetarians so I felt somewhat alone. But I also was certain this was what I was supposed to do. I began reading about the benefits of not eating meat—which are many—and I noticed I had more energy. I know I’m a healthier person because I haven’t eaten meat for many years, and I’ve never questioned that it was the right thing for me to do.

There are many acts of courage of far greater significance than staying with a personal decision that is not understood by people we care about. However, being brave in the “smaller” life situations helps to prepare us to be more courageous when confronting the larger challenges.

Jungian thought includes the idea of individuation, the life-long process of becoming the unique persons we were each created to be. Following the guidance of our inner voice requires courage and, as Maya Angelou said, having courage is the basis for living the many other virtues.

“We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.” Helen Keller wrote these words, a woman who when she was 19 months old had an illness that resulted in her becoming both blind and deaf. With the assistance and companionship of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to read, write, and speak, and eventually she became a famous speaker, author, and philanthropist who positively affected the lives of many people.

Helen Keller’s words are particularly significant to me because she is someone who, despite not being able to hear or see, strove to develop the many other abilities she had. It’s hard for me to imagine how difficult that would have been and the patience and courage it took for her to persevere. I often struggle to understand why there is so much suffering in our world. I feel for people who have disabilities, who are the victims of abuse, who live in war-torn areas—the list goes on. On a more personal level, I have struggled to accept challenges I’ve needed to face, challenges that, although difficult, have not been as difficult as those of many other people.

So I derive hope from Helen Keller and other people I respect, and I strive to be brave and patient during the trying times in my life.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men [and women] light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men [and women], that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (I added the bracketed words.)

These verses 14 through 16 from chapter 5 of the Gospel of Matthew are among those writings in the Bible that are most meaningful to me. They are Matthew’s record of some of Jesus’ many teachings. Although my family attended Sunday church services regularly when I was a child and I heard many Bible readings and many sermons based on those readings, it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that they began to have personal meaning for me.

At first glance, it might seem that people being told they are the light of the world could cause them to have too high of an opinion of themselves. But the words are not directed to one person or just certain people. They are directed to all of us. Every one of us has something to offer, talents to share, ways of helping others, gifts to give.

I was shy as a child and I had a tendency to walk behind others, such as when my family was walking somewhere or for school activities. I was shy about being in front, and I wonder if, at an unconscious level, I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in the front. Although I’m no longer as shy and I had enough self-confidence to do well in school and in the jobs I’ve had, some of that “don’t be first” tendency is still a part of me. So when I was prompted by my dreams and by synchronicities to start writing a blog, I found it very difficult to begin. There was that part of me that didn’t believe I had anything to share, that didn’t believe I could write in a way that “let my light shine.”

Because I believe our dreams are from the Creator, and therefore it is essential for all of us to try to follow dream direction, I did begin writing this blog. Writing my blog is vital to my personal growth. It is also a way for me to try to help those who read it to have hope and to grow as individuals. For every one of us has ways to shine by doing good works using the talents and blessings we have been given.

In my work as a crisis line counselor, I receive calls from women and men of all ages and often from adolescents too. Each person is calling for assistance, emotional support, and sometimes resource information to deal with whatever difficulty prompted them to call. Sometimes they are calling about something that happened to them just recently, and sometimes it is about ongoing problems. Capable counselors need to have the qualities of compassion, empathy, being nonjudgmental, and being able to give each person who calls their complete attention.

Actually, all of us should strive to develop these qualities. What a difference that would make in our world! It would become a far better place, one interaction at a time. And not only would we help to make the world better for others but also for ourselves. For as the Dalai Lama says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” These words by Mother Teresa are a good reminder to try our best to use each day well. Whatever our situation, we have been given the ability to do those things that are in our power to do, and we should value that gift.

“Yesterday is gone.” We are all human and therefore we are all imperfect. We make mistakes and have regrets. It’s important for our motivation and for our emotional well-being to not let those regrets keep us from using the present day well. When fitting and possible, we need to apologize and make amends, do what we can to right a wrong that we caused, and then move forward. If we’re regretting not starting or completing a task, we now have the present day to do that.

“Tomorrow has not yet come.” Looking forward to future occasions and activities can add to the joy of living. Some examples are having plans to visit people we care about who we seldom get to see or attending our child’s sports event or dance performance. Enjoy such anticipations but make effective use of each day as well. “Tomorrow has not yet come” also reminds me how it is sometimes tempting to put things off without having a good reason for doing so. To help avoid this, I remind myself how good it feels to accomplish things, to know they’re taken care of and off my mind, and to feel the satisfaction of a job well done.

“Let us begin.” Often taking that first step releases the energy to continue an endeavor. This is especially true when we are trying to follow direction from within. Mother Teresa’s words “Let us begin” also remind me that our Creator forgives us when we make mistakes and always makes it possible for us to begin again. And those of us who pay attention to our dreams know that when we do not discern the message of a dream that is directing us to do certain actions, we will be given additional dreams that try again to get our attention. The Self wants what is best for us and gives us chances to begin again. Thank goodness. For many of us, myself included, need additional prompting. Trying to do what we hear our inner voice guiding us to do through intuition, sychronicities, and our dreams leads to a sense of peace and well-being.

In my work as a crisis line counselor, I have spoken with many women and men who have told me they have mental illness. The diagnoses I’ve heard most often are depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and schizophrenia. Many of the callers have told me they have a therapist and a psychiatrist, and some attend group therapy as well as individual therapy. Some have told me they have needed to be hospitalized at times.

I recently came across an Amish proverb that caused me to think about people who deal with the challenges of mental illness: “Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.” There is much need for more empathy in our world, including for people who have mental health problems. I am often impressed by the efforts people make to deal with their symptoms by doing coping skills, attending individual therapy and support groups, and practicing self-care, including healthy nutrition and exercise. For the more severe diagnoses, taking medication as prescribed also helps to manage their symptoms. Similar to having a physical illness such as diabetes where people need to monitor their blood sugar and do what is necessary to maintain a healthy level, people with mental illness need to notice when their symptoms increase and do self-care or coping techniques to help to manage them. This requires being aware and being motivated. Some people who call the crisis line talk about how overwhelming dealing with their mental illness is and the discouragement they sometimes feel.

It concerns me that many people who have the good fortune of not having mental illness have no idea what it is like for people who do, and therefore have no appreciation of the effort many people put into trying their best to take care of themselves. Too often people make generalizations and display little, if any, empathy. And too often this ignorance adds to the stigmatization of mental illness, another challenge callers have told me adds to their burden.

Through this post I want to acknowledge the women and men who struggle with mental illness and to applaud all that they do to cope and care for themselves. For I, and I’m sure many other people, are truly impressed by them.