Category: PersonalGrowth

“Forever is composed of nows.”

This quote is by Emily Dickinson, an American poet who lived in the 1800s.  Her poems are well known and they are regularly part of literature courses at universities and high schools.

Dickinson’s words are a reminder that what we do and say each day matters.  That it’s not just certain occasions or times of accomplishment that have value (although they do also), but that every day does.  Often in our modern world there is an emphasis on what is coming next rather than on making the most of the present.

It’s special to see how young children naturally live in the present.  I often take my grandson, who is a toddler, to a park near his home.  As I watch him enjoying running from place to place and playing on the playground equipment, I’m reminded of this.  And when I am with him and feeling happy that he is happy and healthy, I too appreciate the present, for my focus is on what he is doing and not on something I need to do later.

Each day there are opportunities to treat each other with kindness and respect, to be nonjudgmental, to offer our assistance, to express gratitude, and in many other ways to do our part to add to that which is positive in our world.  And during the times when we are not with others, to spend the gift of time well no matter what we’re doing.  That can include exercising, doing housework, walking the dog—all of these activities matter too.  Silent prayer while doing such activities adds even more value to what we are doing.

For those who are not already doing so, I encourage you to learn about Jungian psychology and through that to endeavor to be more conscious persons.  Becoming more conscious adds positive change and meaning to our lives, helping us to live each day more fully.  I especially recommend Jungian analyst John A. Sanford’s books.  And it certainly can be beneficial to meet with a Jungian therapist.

Everything we do each day makes up our “forever.”  Whatever we are able to do to add to that which is good and right for others and for ourselves adds purpose, meaning, and beauty to that forever.

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you’?”

This quote is by William Arthur Ward who was an American motivational writer.  He was known for writing positive sayings which appeared in many publications and other media.

This quote caught my attention, both because of the importance of expressing our thankfulness and also because of the unique way Ward reminds us of the gift of life, of the 86,400 seconds of life we have each day.

As we go about our day doing the various activities we need to do, it can be easy to take for granted the many things for which we should be grateful–our families and friends, health, abilities, jobs, people who have been positive influences, and the opportunities that come our way.  And the clean air we breathe, the birdsong we hear, the beauty of the sky, and the many other aspects of nature, not only in the countryside but also in urban areas.  The list of things for which we should be thankful goes on and on.

Focusing on the many blessings we have rather than on what we don’t have adds to our sense of wellbeing and helps us to be more positive in general.  In fact, there are research studies that have found that this approach helps to decrease the effects of depression and other mental illnesses.

Each day is a gift from our Creator.  It’s important to value that gift and, as Ward reminds us, to say thank you for that gift.

“From my point of view, God is the light that illuminates the darkness, even if it does not dissolve it, and a spark of divine light is within each of us.”

This quote is by Pope Francis, who was Pope of the Roman Catholic Church from 2013 until 2025.  He was the first Pope from a Latin American country, and he was known for his concern for the poor, migrants, and refugees, his emphasis on God’s mercy, and his humility, as well as for many other qualities.

Pope Francis’ description of God as the light that illuminates the darkness causes me to think about the gift of faith.  For having faith helps us as we take the steps of our earthly journey and gives meaning to that journey.  The light that illuminates also brings to mind the word “enlightened”—being able to recognize truth and to remember the good that is in others.

His words “even if it does not dissolve it,” referring to the darkness, reminds us of the realty that life will always include challenges, times of doubt, not having the clarity about certain things that we would like to have, and wondering why certain realities are as they are, including the presence of evil in the various forms it takes.

And Pope Francis’ words “a spark of divine light is within each of us” reminds us that our Creator created each one of us as a unique human being and gave us, and continues to give us, life for as long as we are on our earthly journeys and beyond.  That divine light is also our inner voice who gives us guidance each day–the guidance that comes to us through our dreams, synchronicities, unanticipated happenings, our intuition, and in other ways.  Knowing that divine light is within us is a reassuring source of hope.

I am thankful for Pope Francis’ words and for all that he did to make our world a better place for many people during his earthly journey.

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”

This quote is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was a German Lutheran pastor, theologian, author, and resistance leader against Nazism.  He was imprisoned and later killed when he was 39 years old for his involvement in the resistance.

When I first read Bonhoeffer’s quote, I had the thought that his words are a profound way of describing compassion.  For when we are compassionate, we recognize that every person we encounter has experienced and/or is experiencing things we don’t know about, and those experiences often involved a level of suffering.  Suffering has many degrees and takes many forms, including what might be termed milder forms such as being disappointed or realizing a person who we trusted is no longer trustworthy, to more serious and persistent forms such as being physically abused, having chronic pain, or struggling with depression.  These and many other forms of suffering naturally affect a person’s personality, the ways they interact with others, and their worldview.

When I read Bonhoeffer’s words “in light of what they do or omit to do,” I thought about how we tend to make judgments about others after seeing them do a certain behavior or by noticing something someone hasn’t done that we think that person should have done.  But these observations are just part of what we know about the person.  There is far more that we do not know, including what they have suffered or are presently suffering.  When we judge others, we are doing the opposite of being compassionate toward them.  Also, when we judge others, we go against the teachings of many world religions, including Christianity where Jesus said “Do not judge” and reminded us to instead look at ourselves and see our own faults.

I recently saw a photo of a child in tears because her parents were being deported.  The woman and man had lived in the United States for a few years, had jobs, and had taken the steps to become citizens, which is often a long process. The person who had posted the photo said it made him ashamed of our country.  I believe many Americans would also disagree with how these people were being treated.  This type of treatment, including them being denied due process, was an example of lack of compassion at a systems level.  Too often compassion is lacking not only by individuals but also by such systems, including certain laws, legal processes, and political agendas.

It is concerning that the virtue of compassion is not considered to be more essential by some of us.  People who perform compassionate acts are sometimes ridiculed, including on social media, by certain news organizations, and in films.  Just as with all of the values that matter, each of us individually needs to try to grow in compassion, not only because it matters to our own soul work, but also so that others are influenced.  This is especially important for children to see so that they too will be compassionate as adults.

I’m thankful for Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s thought-provoking words and for the other ways he showed wisdom and courage when he was on his earthly journey.

“I have just three things to teach:  simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”

This quote is by Lau Tzu, a Chinese sage and philosopher who was born in the 6th century BC.  He is considered to be the founder of Taoism and is generally credited as the author of the Tao Te Ching.

One of my first thoughts when I read Lau Tzu’s quote was how fitting it is that he refers to simplicity, patience, and compassion as treasures.  For, as with treasure, those three qualities have great value.  Thankfully, many people do value them.  And what a difference it would make in our world if many more people did.

Simplicity can refer to choosing to live in a more modest way, to not be taken in by the materialism of our modern-day culture.  Sharing our money, time, and/or abilities with organizations and causes that assist others is another way to live more simply for, by doing so, we are not holding on to those gifts just for ourselves.  Simplicity can also refer to the simplicity of the spoken word, being clear and thoughtful when talking with others.  These are a few of the many ways that we can add the value of simplicity to our lives.

When we are patient, we show others that we care about them by not putting our agenda first.  We try to be understanding about whatever the situation is that requires us to be patient, to pause and be present with others.

Being compassionate toward others is one of the most helpful qualities we can have.  None of us can know the many influences that formed the personalities of other people—how they were treated as children, whether they felt loved and secure, whether they were given attention, and what behaviors were modeled to them by the adults in their lives.  And as adults how various experiences and interactions affected them.  Therefore, it’s important to pay attention when we are having judgmental thoughts about someone, and instead to remind ourselves to be compassionate rather than making judgments.

I value the qualities of simplicity, patience, and compassion, but I certainly need to remind myself of them from time to time.  It helps me to remember the times throughout my life when I was treated with patience and compassion and when I was positively affected by seeing others living in a more simple way.

There are many qualities that matter and, as Lau Tzu says, simplicity, patience, and compassion are three of great value.

“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”

This quote is from one of the writings of Lau Tzu.  Lau Tzu was a Chinese sage and philosopher who was born in the 6th century BC.  He is considered to be the founder of Taoism and is generally credited as the author of the Tao Te Ching.

In reading Lau Tzu’s words, I can’t help but notice how they offer guidance which is directly contrary to that which is promoted by many aspects of modern American culture.  Much of what is on the internet, many movies and TV shows, and abundant advertising emphasize accumulating more belongings, having larger homes, upgrading to the latest technology, going on expensive vacations, and so on.

I respect the guidance of the entire quote, but in this post I’m going to focus on the words “Reduce selfishness.”  Each of us can do this by considering the needs of others rather than focusing only on our needs and wants.  Hopefully, we are already doing this within our families and regarding other loved ones.  But we can extend our endeavor to be less selfish by keeping in mind the needs of other people we don’t know, for we are all part of the human family.  And by keeping in mind the many worthy causes that help to improve the lives of others.  One way to support such programs is by volunteering our time, abilities, and talents. Another is by donating money to help those programs to continue to assist others.  Among the numerous additional ways to be generous with our time are visiting people who are in assisted living programs, nursing homes, and hospitals; being mentors to new employees at our jobs; and helping with fundraisers for activities in which our children participate—the list goes on and on.

Selfishness is also present on societal and national levels.  Legislators who pass laws that favor wealthy people and corporations; decisions to not fund programs that provide services, including health, nutrition, and educational services, to people in our own country who cannot otherwise afford those services and also to those who live in poor countries; and policies that deny or downplay the dangers of climate change are some of the many ways wealthier countries are selfish.

There’s another phenomenon to consider regarding selfishness.  In dealing with our tendency to overdo accumulating belongings, we should ask ourselves whether our desire (and sometimes compulsion) to have more and more materially might be a substitute for satisfying inner needs of which we are unaware.  For this often underlies such behavior.  It is essential to try to discern the guidance of our inner voice in order to make changes that lead to personal growth, which naturally includes becoming more generous.  Doing so will be far more meaningful and fulfilling than the temporary gratification we feel when we acquire additional material items.

All of us need to look within and acknowledge the ways we are selfish and then to make efforts to become more selfless.  By doing so, we will “reduce selfishness,” as Lau Tzu encourages us to do.  And by doing so, we will share the gifts of time, abilities, and talents that have been given to us by our Creator and thus will do what we are called to do.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.  And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”

This quote is by Maya Angelou, who was a poet, singer, and civil rights activist.  In her quote, Angelou talks about gratitude and faith—two of the most valuable gifts we can have.

We can never have too much gratitude.  It’s easy to take for granted our abilities, our health, the opportunities we’ve had, that there are people who love us, and so much more.  Our ego attitude might be that we have earned or are somehow deserving of these aspects of our lives.  If so, we are wrong, for they are all entirely gifts from our Creator.

One of the many things for which I’m thankful is that I’ve had good health throughout my life.  I’ve been fortunate that I haven’t had a serious illness or injury which required me to be in the hospital or to need to undergo extensive treatment.  A couple months ago I had pneumonia for the first time.  In addition to congestion, a fever, and a persistent, deep cough, another of its symptoms was fatigue.  For almost three weeks I needed to sleep more hours each day than I was awake; the doctor who diagnosed the illness said that was to be expected and to not push myself to be active until my body was ready.  And that also meant missing three weeks of work.

I would catch myself feeling sorry for myself and at times feeling frustrated that I needed to miss so much work and that I couldn’t do my usual activities, including spending time with loved ones.  I was so used to being healthy that I had difficulty accepting my illness.  But then I’d remember the many people in our world who endure far more serious and long-lasting illnesses and other burdens, and I felt ashamed of my self-centered attitude.  I am well again and the experience has made me even more thankful for good health, and hopefully it also taught me to be more accepting of life’s challenges.

Angelou also talks about faith.  Having faith helps us in many ways.  Because faith is based on spiritual discernment rather than on proof, it enables us to better deal with the unknown.  Our belief in God reminds us that we are not alone on our earthly journey.  Faith accompanies us as we do our best to deal with difficulties that are part of everyone’s life from time to time, and faith is also a source of hope and meaning in our lives.

Each day we should recognize our many blessings and give thanks to our Creator for them, including giving thanks for the gift of faith.

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”

This quote is by Mother Teresa.  Since I began writing my blog several years ago, I have chosen other quotes by her a number of times as a basis for my posts.  There’s a kind of “quiet strength” in the way she approached life that is reflected in her words, a quiet strength that is meaningful to me.

Mother Teresa often spoke and wrote about the fact that each person’s efforts have value. That is the case once again in her words “do it alone, person to person.”  Every time we treat another person with dignity, kindness, and empathy, we make that person’s life better as an individual, and in addition we increase that which is positive in our world.  And by treating each other in this way, we are also doing one of the things we were created to do.

Although each act of caring matters in itself, there is also the cumulative effect of such person-to-person interactions.  Mother Teresa refers to this in some of her other quotes too.  An example is when she says “the ocean would be less because of that missing drop” where she uses the metaphor of each act of kindness as being a drop of water.  Just as every drop of water makes up the huge ocean, every positive word and action add to that which has value in our world.

Once again, I’m reminded of how essential it is to grow in consciousness so that we become more and more able to follow inner direction. For inner direction guides us in our day-to-day words and actions.  Through its guidance, we are led to those things we were created to do.

So heed Mother Teresa’s words:  Don’t wait for others; do it alone, person to person.

“The highest result of education is tolerance.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, who when she was 19 months old had an illness that caused her to become blind and deaf.  With the assistance and companionship of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to read, write, and speak, and eventually she became a famous author, speaker, and philanthropist who positively affected the lives of many people.

Tolerance, along with empathy, compassion, and courage, is a quality that each one of us should strive to develop.  Those four qualities, although not synonymous, have a connection with each other.  When we have empathy for other people, we are able to have a sense of what they are experiencing and of their feelings related to what they are experiencing.  This helps us to be tolerant of our differences.  Having compassion for others works in a similar way.  And sometimes it takes courage to be tolerant of people who have different viewpoints, priorities, and traditions from ours, such as when our being tolerant in certain situations is not accepted by friends or family members.

When I first read Keller’s quote, I thought of her use of the word education as referring to learning that takes place in school.  It is important that children be exposed to examples of tolerance throughout their elementary and secondary schooling.  Having teachers who are tolerant, reading stories where the characters show this quality, and learning in history classes about people who were tolerant in the past helps students to learn to have tolerance.

But I also thought about education in the broader sense, for all of us have opportunities to learn each day of our lives.  The words and actions of our parents and other people who influenced us when we were children and teens; the interactions we have with others as adults; the reading we do—whether it be news articles, novels, or other genres.  All are sources of education and provide possibilities of learning about people who model tolerance in their words and actions.

It concerns me and many other people that being tolerant isn’t valued by some people.  As much as I appreciate the numerous positive aspects of the internet, one of its negative aspects is the presence of websites where intolerant views are expressed, often based on ignorance of the truth, misinformation, and/or lies.  This is one of many reasons we need to be watchful of what children and teens are viewing and to make possible activities and books and other alternatives to being online.  And to do the same for ourselves.

Although much of value can be and is gained as a result of education in its various forms, I agree with Helen Keller that learning to be tolerant is a very valuable result.

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

This quote is by Aldous Huxley, who was an English writer and philosopher.  He wrote poetry, essays, and many books.

It’s a common human trait to want other people to change, including people who disagree with us, who act in ways we don’t consider to be acceptable, or with whom we feel uncomfortable because of our differences.  And there are times when our wanting other people to change is based on our sincere concern for them, such as someone we are close to who is addicted to a substance and ideally should start a treatment program or someone who shows clear signs of depression and who ideally should seek help by meeting with a therapist.

And yet, as Huxley says, the only person who each of us can improve is ourself.  We can encourage others, we can try to be good examples by modeling healthy behaviors, we might even be able to have some influence on helping others make changes that will benefit them.  But we cannot cause other people to change, for adults must make that decision for themselves.  And then make the effort that will lead to the changes they are seeking.  No one else can do that for them.

In my work as a crisis line counselor, I sometimes receive calls from people expressing sadness and/or frustration with their spouse or partner, saying how they wish that person would change, and wondering what they can do to cause their spouse or partner to change.  It’s hard to accept that we can’t change others.  What we can do is to try to be understanding and open-minded, and perhaps try to have a conversation with that person about our concerns.

As far as improving ourselves, all of us have areas that need improvement.  If we don’t recognize that, we’re not being honest with ourselves.  One of those areas for many of us has to do with our physical health:  eating nutritiously, exercising, having a healthy weight, getting sufficient sleep, and stopping smoking or using drugs.  Improvement in these areas not only decreases our chance of becoming seriously ill, but also improves our emotional and mental health.

Other ways we can make changes that will benefit ourselves and others are by becoming better listeners; starting or increasing the ways we try to help our environment by recycling, composting, and being aware of when we’re wasting energy; and having gratitude for all that is good in our lives, noticing those things we take for granted and instead recognizing how fortunate we are.

So as we try to make improvements in ourselves, we need to remember to take things a step at a time and be patient with ourselves.  To use Huxley’s words, work on that “one corner of the universe” who is you.