Category: PersonalGrowth

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

This quote is by Seneca who was a Roman philosopher, statesman, and dramatist.  His words are a reminder that there are many opportunities to be kind to others—in fact, as many opportunities as there are people in our world.

It’s wonderful to see the effects of kind actions.  Recently, one of my coworkers who has a garden brought vegetables to work to share with us.  It’s the time of the year when many of the vegetables are ready to harvest, and he brought tomatoes, green beans, and zucchini.  For those of us who don’t have our own yards or the time to do gardening, the fresh vegetables were a welcome gift.  His thoughtfulness and generosity brightened our day.

I’m impressed and hopeful when I read or hear about more newsworthy acts of kindness.  And yet how special it is that each of us can show kindness throughout each day in our interactions with others.  As with all qualities that matter, our ability to be kind is a gift from our Creator.  We share that gift with others when we treat them with kindness and we are recipients of that gift when we are treated with kindness by others.

I’m thankful for the many people who are kind to others on a regular basis.  What a difference it would make in our world if even more people were.

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

This quote is by Helen Keller, a woman who when she was 19 months old had an illness that resulted in her becoming both blind and deaf.  With the assistance and companionship of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to read, write, and speak.  She eventually became a famous author, speaker, and philanthropist who positively affected the lives of many people.

Helen Keller’s words are a reminder that many of the things we do have significance.  It might be that our life path includes working toward a “great and noble task.”  If that’s the case, it’s essential that we put forth the effort and do our best to follow our inner guidance as we take the steps required for that.

It is often the case, however, that our lives are made up of doing what might be termed “small tasks.”  Small tasks as well as large tasks require us to make it a priority to try to discern what our inner voice wants us to do and then to do our best to follow the direction we’ve been given.  Making the effort of discernment is itself a noble task.

When I think of small tasks, I think of many of those things we do daily:  showing our spouses or partners, our children, and other loved ones that we care about them through our actions and our words; acting with integrity; being generous with our time; and helping others.  I think of being responsible, including doing quality work at our jobs.  There are times when we need to be patient, times when we need to be assertive, times when we need to have courage, and times when we need to do creative problem solving.  These and many other ways of being are certainly “small tasks” that are “great and noble.”

“Do not judge me by my success.  Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

This quote is by Nelson Mandela who lived in South Africa and was a lawyer, an anti-apartheid activist, and a politician.  Before becoming the first president of South Africa in 1994, he had been imprisoned for 27 years after being sentenced for conspiring to overthrow the government because of his anti-apartheid activities.  He certainly was an example of someone who got back up again, of someone who had resilience.

Resilience is a quality that makes it possible for us to face whatever difficulties come our way.  We gain resilience each time we deal with difficulties, including learning through our experiences various ways to approach new challenges.

One of the most valuable things we can do for children is to help them to become more resilient.  We can do this as parents with our own children and also as grandparents, teachers, coaches, day care employees—anyone who spends time with children in other capacities.  I have read articles about research studies that have shown the positive effects of taking the time to listen to what children have to say, of reading to and with them, and of acknowledging their feelings.  When children feel comfortable talking about their feelings with a caring and trusted adult and sharing, for example, when something has happened that makes them feel sad or frightened, it helps them become more resilient.  It helps them in many other ways too because through such interactions they sense that they are valued.

When children tell us their feelings, we must not tell them or imply that they should just get over it.  Instead, we should acknowledge the feelings they’ve shared with us.  Such caring interactions help them to be better able to deal with difficulties when they are adults.  And, according to the findings of research studies, such interactions decrease the potential for mental health and addiction problems to develop.

As Mandela says, it’s the times that we get back up again after something in life causes us to fall down that matter.  We can all become more resilient ourselves and we can help others, including children, to develop this essential quality as well.

“Perseverance, secret of all triumphs.”

This quote is by Victor Hugo, a French politician and author who is best known for his novels Les Miserables and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Whenever I hear or read about someone or a group of people who have persevered, who have continued to strive despite difficulties and challenges, I find myself admiring them.  When I think of persevering, I usually think of accomplishments such as a person overcoming an addiction, someone going through treatment for a serious illness, the people who sacrificed their energy and time in the Civil Rights movement, and people rebuilding their home after it was destroyed by a natural disaster.  There are many other examples of people doing what is needed and not succumbing to the part of us that questions whether we can keep putting forth the effort.

It is important to recognize that perseverance is necessary in more day-to-day situations also.  Doing our best as parents to care for, be patient with, and spend quality time with our children; consistently making an effort to do well at our jobs; caretaking elderly parents; trying to be persons of integrity; and endeavoring to become more conscious all require perseverance as well.  Not giving up, not taking the easy way.

I think of my coworker who two years ago, when she was only 29 years old, was diagnosed with a type of cancer that is more difficult to treat than some other types.  She has endured the discomfort and sometimes pain caused by the cancer and also by the various courses of treatment, and she has persevered.  She attributes her ability to not give up to having loving and supportive people in her life and to the gift of faith she has been given.  She often expresses gratitude to the Creator for both.

I think of young women and men starting their first full-time jobs, getting used to this new aspect of being adults, and learning the work requirements, including the difficulty of sometimes learning by making mistakes.

I think of parents raising their children, making it a priority to spend time with them even after a long day at work; trying to be a good example for them; making decisions about what is best for them; and so many other aspects of parenting that require perseverance.

Victor Hugo’s quote speaks of triumphs.  Sometimes there are small triumphs along the way—my friend experiencing a reprieve when her cancer symptoms are easier to tolerate, a young adult feeling pleased about completing a project at work, parents seeing their love for their children reflected back to them by their children’s smiles and hugs–and seeing what a miracle their children are.

Doing what we need to do to persevere in various life situations is part of living a full and meaningful life.

“When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness.”

This quote is by Joseph Campbell, an American author and professor of literature whose best-known book is The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

Joseph Campbell’s words express once again the truth that focusing on others instead of just on ourselves leads to a more genuine, fulfilling, and purposeful life, a life of greater consciousness.  When I say “once again,” I’m referring to the fact that this truth is emphasized by many religious traditions.  It has also been shown by people whose courageous words and actions have helped many others.  Some of these people are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Harriet Tubman, Mahatma Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln.  And by the words and actions of numerous other people who are not in the history books who also have given their energy and time in service to others.

Campbell’s words “heroic transformation” are significant.  It requires courage to be committed to  trying to discern our inner guidance and to try to follow that guidance.  That was clearly the case for the well-known people I listed above.  A degree of heroism is needed whenever we try to follow the inner promptings that leads us to greater consciousness.  And as we grow in consciousness, we are transformed, for we become more the persons we were created to be.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

This quote is by Bil Keane, who had a long career as a cartoonist.  When I first read his words, I smiled at the way he uses the two meanings of the word “present.”  I also like the way he refers to the past as history and to the future as mystery.

Yesterday and all the days preceding it since each of us was born makes up our personal history.  It’s the memories, accomplishments, relationships and interactions with others, our many and varied life experiences, as well as our day-to-day responsibilities.  Our personalities evolve as we learn and grow from our experiences, including when we recognize and learn from mistakes we’ve made.

Tomorrow is a mystery because we cannot know with certainty what life will bring each day.  Often what we will do has a certain predictability, such as spending time with our family, working at our jobs, attending events or meetings, etc.  But it’s important to be open to unexpected occurrences too and to do our best to do whatever is required of us to respond to them when that is needed.  And also to notice and appreciate the unexpected special things that happen.

As Keane says, each day certainly is a gift of God.  In fact, each morning when we awaken is a perfect  time to say a prayer of thanksgiving for that day and to pray for guidance in all that we do throughout the day.  And when today passes into yesterday to know that we tried to live it well.

“My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”

This quote is by Jim Henson, a well-known puppeteer, animator, inventor, and filmmaker, perhaps best known as the creator of The Muppets.

Henson’s quote resonates with me because it conveys both hope and humility.  Hope and humility are two qualities essential to living our lives in a meaningful way.  Henson’s having the goal of in some way doing his part to make the world better expresses a hopefulness, a belief that it is possible to do that.  And he shows humility by using the words “my hope” and “a bit better,” rather than suggesting he has all the answers.  Henson’s words are a quiet affirmation of what might be possible.

If each of us had the goal of leaving the world a bit better, and sincerely tried to make that happen, the lives of many people would be positively affected.  It’s essential that we recognize that it is the Creator working through us that makes it possible for us to do anything of value that we do, including that which we are able to do to improve the world.  It’s also vital to believe that each of us has a calling or callings given to us by the Creator that we need to try to discern.

Through that discernment and our efforts to endeavor to follow each of our individual paths, all of us can make the world better, better for our children and grandchildren now and when they’re adults, better for all of the present generation as well as for future generations.

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

This quote by Mother Teresa helps me to remember that each action I do with heartfelt intentions matters.  I assume when Mother Teresa said or wrote those words she was referring to the work that she and the nuns of her order were doing to assist people who were suffering from serious illnesses, often providing care to people who were critically ill.  It mattered that they were able to help each person that they did.

When I find myself thinking about how my efforts to help others seem so limited, especially because there is so much need in our world, I remind myself of Mother Teresa’s words and how each effort I make adds to the ocean of caring.  And the many other drops that make up that ocean are symbolic of all the individual actions of a great many other people.  Every one of those sincere actions matters.

In addition to helping people we know, such as family members, other relatives, and friends, it’s important to keep in mind ways we can help in broader contexts as well.  One way we can help others, including future generations, is by making efforts to reduce our carbon footprint.  We can do this by recycling, by not running the car engine unnecessarily, and by composting instead of putting compostable items in the garbage.  It surprises me how often I see items that should be put into a clearly marked mixed recyclables container that instead have been put in a trash container that is right beside it.  It is also concerning that many people warm up their cars for several minutes unnecessarily, adding exhaust to the air for no good reason.  I’ve read that as much as 40% of food in America is discarded.  There are many waste haulers who pick up compostable food and other compostable items that are turned into organic matter used as fertilizer and to enrich soil.  If many more of us did these and other actions to decrease global warming, what a difference it would make.

Finally, one of the most vital things we can do both for others and for ourselves is to grow in consciousness.  We do this by noticing when we might be projecting qualities onto others that are actually reflections of aspects of ourselves—both negative and positive; by trying to discern the possible meanings of synchronicities; by paying attention to intuitive promptings; by recording our dreams and pondering the possible messages of the symbolism of our dreams; and by trying to discern the significance of unexpected occurrences.  According to Jungian psychological theory, whenever a person becomes more conscious, it has a positive effect on our world—another important drop added to the ocean of caring.  Similarly, many religious traditions emphasize that each loving action positively affects not only the receiver and giver of that action but that loving kindness radiates to others as well.

It is my hope that Mother Teresa’s words will encourage each of us to make changes and do actions that benefit others and to remember that each of those changes and actions does make a difference.

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”

This quote is by Albert Schweitzer, who was a theologian, organist, writer, physician, humanitarian, and philosopher.  His words resonate with me because of their emphasis on caring about and wanting to help other people.  These qualities are also emphasized in the teachings of Christianity and in Jungian psychological theory, which is one of the reasons I embrace both.  Even though Jungian psychology isn’t considered a religious psychology, there is much correlation between its concepts and Christianity.

People who think only about their own needs and wants live a limited life.  Each of us is unique and we have individual callings, and by trying to discern and act upon those callings we help others and also feel more fulfilled.

There are many ways we can help others.  A very important one is by being good parents to our children, spending quality time with them, being patient, answering their questions, and showing them through our actions as well as by our words that we love them.  For many of us, assisting and spending time with our elderly parents or elderly friends or relatives are ways we help others.  And there are volunteer opportunities available with organizations whose missions are to assist people in various ways, just a few of which are working at a food shelf, spending time with someone in an assisted living residence or nursing home, helping children with their homework, and teaching English to immigrants.

And there are many ways to serve people other than being part of a program.  A friend of mine told me that each time it snows a neighbor not only clears the sidewalk in front of her home with her snow blower, but removes snow the length of the entire block.  Another friend enjoys baking and often shares what he bakes with neighbors and friends.  There are many ways to show others that they are cared about, some as ongoing commitments and some as unexpected and much appreciated acts of kindness.

Without a sense of purpose, life is dull—it feels as if something is missing.  We were created to use the gifts we’ve been given for the purposes they’ve been given to us.  Showing compassion and being willing to help others are two of those gifts.

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

This quote by the Dalai Lama reminds us of the importance of safeguarding our sense of peace by being aware that what other people do and say affects us.  This applies to the behavior of people we know, such as a family member unjustifiably criticizing us or a coworker telling another coworker something that isn’t true about us, as well as to the actions of people we don’t know, such as when we read about others being treated unjustly.

In my experience and in those of others who have shared their experiences with me, it can be difficult to not let the behavior of others destroy–or at least temporarily disrupt–our inner peace.  And yet it’s essential to our wellbeing that we follow the Dalai Lama’s wise counsel.

Some approaches that I have found to be helpful are self-reminders and “distraction” coping techniques.  If I’ve been unfairly criticized or hurt in other ways, I remind myself that what has been said or done is unwarranted, that the person who behaved in that way has problems, and that I must do my best to not let their problems take away positive energy from me.  When I read or hear about wrongdoings done to other people, I naturally feel sadness that such things happen and then I try to focus on the many good things that people do in our world every day.  Some distraction coping techniques are doing physical exercises, taking a walk, reading, doing housework–any activity that helps us to focus on something other than the disturbing behavior.  An additional benefit of distraction techniques is that not only are we not giving energy to the negativity of what has been said or done, we are also doing things that are good for us and that give us a sense of accomplishment.

It’s natural to feel righteous anger when we read or hear about hurtful acts, righteous anger meaning the anger we feel because we care about others and because we want people to act morally.  And, even though it’s emotionally healthy to safeguard our inner peace, that doesn’t mean we don’t have empathy for others who have been mistreated.  When possible, we should do what we can to help those who have been wronged.

Having inner peace is a gift from our Creator.  As with all blessings we’ve been given, it’s not something we’ve earned or deserve.  It’s a gift that helps us to follow the life path we have been created to follow.