Category: PersonalGrowth

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”  -The Dalai Lama

It truly is always possible to be kind.  For kindness can be shown in many ways and in many circumstances.  Some ways I was treated with kindness today were coworkers greeting me with a smile, someone I don’t know holding a door open for me, a coworker patiently answering a question I had about a work procedure, and a person who was waiting for the same bus as I was gesturing for me to go ahead of her.  Those are the actions that I remember; I’m sure there were others as well.  And each one added a little brightness to my day.  They are some of the many ways we show kindness to one another on a daily basis.

In addition to my being a recipient of kindness today, I read about situations where people’s kindness is making a significant difference in other people’s lives.  I read an article describing a pro bono project where some lawyers are providing legal expertise and completing the procedures and paperwork needed to help people leave countries where they are in hiding until it is safe to leave.  The article also told about lawyers who are representing people who have been falsely charged with crimes and are in prison.  By volunteering to investigate the facts of cases, the lawyers are working to prove that the people did not commit the crimes so that they may be free again.  Another article I read was about people who volunteer at a food shelf to help the many people who depend on it to have sufficient food for themselves and their children.  These are just a few examples of worthy causes where people are showing kindness toward others by choosing to assist in the ways they are able to.

Whether in relatively small ways, such as those I experienced today, or in larger ways, such as by volunteering time and energy toward valuable causes, each of us can and does show kindness.  For being kind is always possible, one way or another.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

This quote is by Martin Luther King, Jr.  His words reflect the way he lived his calling as a pastor and as a leader in the civil rights movement during the 1950s and 1960s.  He and many other people who are less well known than he is gave of themselves in order to change the oppressive and unjust status quo and thereby to improve the lives of others.  Despite their nonviolent approach to bringing attention to the numerous wrongs that were being perpetrated, they were often treated with violence and imprisoned.  And yet, despite the setbacks, they did not give up.  They accepted the finite disappointments, and they held onto infinite hope as they continued to make their voices heard.

When I think of finite disappointments, I think of things not turning out the way we want them to.  It is especially disheartening when that which we want to happen seems so right, a change for the better.  When we experience these disappointments, we need to endeavor to discern whether to try again or perhaps to try a different approach toward pursuing our objectives.  In some cases, something not working out as we hoped can be a sign that it’s time to reassess whether that is the direction we should be taking.  Making an effort to discern what our inner wisdom is telling us is essential to determining what our next steps should be.

When I think of infinite hope, I think of a hope that is based on faith; a hope that is present despite whatever else is happening in our lives, including the more challenging and difficult times.  It is the hope that is present during the darker times as well as during the more joyful times.  Infinite hope also involves embracing the truth that only the Creator sees the full picture, and therefore there will be times when we won’t be able to have answers to why something did or did not happen as we wanted it to.

Infinite hope is a gift from our Creator that makes it possible for us to persevere.

“The past is past; nothing can change it.  But the future depends on the present; we still have the opportunity to shape it.  This is not a matter of employing technology or spending more money, it’s a question of developing a sense of concern for others’ well-being.”

When I read this quote by the Dalai Lama, I thought about how I sometimes recall a past decision I’ve made or action I’ve done and about how, if I had the chance to do it over, I would do it differently.  And of course there are many times when realizing I made a mistake is only clear in hindsight.  No matter what the circumstances, the reality is that I cannot change what has been done, as the Dalai Lama says.  Instead, I must let it be, hopefully learn from my mistake but don’t dwell on it, forgive myself, and focus on the present.

The Dalai Lama emphasizes the importance of having concern for others’ well-being; that in having the opportunity to shape the future by what we do in the present, we think about others rather than only about ourselves.  Some ways that we show concern are by giving our full attention to someone who is talking to us, by being nonjudgmental, by having empathy, and by being willing to assist people when it’s clear they would welcome that assistance. This is true regarding our interactions with loved ones and other people we know, and it is also true regarding each person with whom we come into contact.

It is in the present that we can endeavor to make right decisions and do right actions.  The more we are able to discern direction from our inner voice, to truly believe there is that source of wisdom within each of us, the better we will be able to make those choices and do those actions.  And when we do, they will help to shape the future in a positive way.

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.”

When I read this quote by Meister Eckhart, a German theologian, philosopher, and mystic who lived from 1260 to 1328, I thought about how it applies in various contexts.

The idea of being a beginner each day reminds me of the importance of being open to new possibilities and approaches.  To be watchful of the tendency to become set in our ways without realizing that is happening.  To notice when we have an automatic response to something rather than taking a moment for thoughtful reflection about how best to respond.

Meister Eckhart’s words also remind me of the opportunities we are given for “fresh starts.”  When we realize we’ve made a mistake, we can take steps to rectify it.  When we’ve inadvertently hurt someone, we can apologize.  Sometimes people don’t accept apologies, but we can do our part and then recognize that if our apology isn’t accepted at least we made the effort.  And we can look at each day as a fresh start.  When we awake each morning, we can say a prayer of thanksgiving for another day of life we’ve been given, and also pray for guidance to help us make decisions we need to make and to do the actions we need to do that day.

Meister Eckhart’s quote also brings to mind the virtue of humility, in that by being willing to embrace the idea of being a beginner we acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers, that there is always more to learn.  Sincere humility is one of the most valuable qualities we can have.  It involves a willingness to recognize our humanity, including our limitations.  It’s also important to recognize the qualities and abilities we have, but when doing so to remember they are gifts from our Creator.

Being willing to be a beginner seems like such a simple idea.  And yet sincerely doing so can have a positive effect on many aspects of our lives as well as on the lives of people with whom we interact.

“If we look at the buildings we live and work in, the roads we travel, the clothes we wear, or the food we eat, we must acknowledge that all are provided by others.  None would exist for us to enjoy and make use of were it not for the kindness of so many people unknown to us.”

This quote by the Dalai Lama serves as a reminder of the connections among human beings.  When we think of connections, many of us think of the people we know, the personal relationships we have with others.  Those relationships matter very much.  But there’s also the larger interconnection among all people.

The Dalai Lama emphasizes the kindness of the many people who through their work make available the items we need and use.  In addition to their kindness, I appreciate their commitment to doing their jobs, many of which require hard labor.  An example is the workers who harvest fruits and vegetables whose work involves repetitious movement for several hours each day.  Fresh fruit and vegetables are essential to good health and their availability in the stores where we shop is truly a blessing.

The other day I ran several errands.  I dropped off some items at a recycling center, returned and picked up items from the library, had the tire pressure checked and adjusted, and went to the grocery store.  I noticed the good customer service of the people working at each of the places I went, and I was reminded of the Dalai Lama’s words.  I also appreciate the people who work after businesses are closed to stock shelves and do the cleaning, making the spaces nice for those of us who will be there the next day.  Most of these “behind-the-scenes” jobs are low-paying, and yet they are essential.

It can be easy to take things for granted.  It’s words such as those of the Dalai Lama that help us remember to appreciate and be thankful for our many blessings and for the many people unknown to us that make them possible.

“We are called to achieve personhood–to contribute most to others by becoming who we are, and standing for values that matter in this world, whatever the obstacles history provides us.”

This quote is by Jungian analyst, author, and speaker James Hollis from his book What Matters Most–Living a More Considered Life.

One of the principle concepts of Jungian theory is that each of us has the potential to grow in consciousness.  Becoming more conscious persons leads to our living more purposeful and meaningful lives.  Dr. Hollis’ words “becoming who we are” is another way of expressing this truth.  And his words “to contribute most to others” remind us that becoming more conscious not only benefits each of us as individuals, but also enables us to interact more genuinely with other people, and to better understand, have empathy for, and assist them.

Although Jungian psychological theory is not a religious-based theory per se, its emphasis on individuation clearly correlates with the teachings of many religious traditions, including Christianity.  The ongoing life-long process of individuation is basically synonymous with the life-long process of becoming the unique persons the Creator created us to be and using the abilities we’ve been given to help others.  By endeavoring to do this, we certainly do stand for values that matter, as Hollis says.

In his quote, Hollis also refers to “whatever the obstacles history provides us.”  When I read that, I thought about how all of us have personal histories as well as the history of the larger culture surrounding us, and we are affected by both.  Hollis’ words are hopeful, reminding us that we can live according to values that matter despite obstacles.

Standing for the values that matter takes courage, in particular when doing so is not supported by people we care about.  By becoming more conscious persons, we are given that courage and many other inner supports to continue our journey of “becoming who we are.”

“In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

These words of Mahatma Gandhi remind us that prayer matters but only when we are genuinely invested in the prayers we say.

As a child I was taught certain well-known prayers—The Lord’s Prayer, the Hail Mary, and many others.  In addition to our family saying a prayer together before each meal, my parents reminded us children to always say our prayers before going to sleep each night.  I think teaching children prayers is a natural part of telling them about the Creator and introducing them to religious traditions.

As adults, however, our prayers should reflect a more personal relationship with our Creator.  If that includes continuing to say traditional prayers, then we need to be careful to not just repeat the memorized words, but to focus on what those words express and how they reflect our beliefs and our faith.  This pertains to the prayers we say during church services as well, for it can be easy to fall into a pattern of not thinking about the words that we have said so many times before.

Heartfelt prayer is personal prayer.  It is where we talk to our Creator, sharing our feelings, our concerns, and our struggles, and asking for help.  It is also praying for other people and causes, and it is a time for expressing gratitude for our blessings.  Part of having the gift of faith is accepting that our Creator knows immeasurably more than we do and has a plan for each of us, for we are all unique creations.  And that means that there will be times when what we prayer for will not happen.  This can be hard to accept but acceptance of the Divine will is also part of having faith.  And it is our personal relationship with our Creator that helps us to be accepting.  That personal relationship is also the basis for living a meaningful life.

“God doesn’t require us to succeed; God only requires that you try.”

This is a quote by Mother Teresa.  I often use her words as the basis for posts I write, for she expressed many truths during her earthly journey that I find to be helpful for my journey.  I hope those who read my blog will find her words to be helpful for their journey too.

We all have heard that making mistakes is part of being human and that we can learn from our mistakes.  It’s important to remember too that if we’re afraid that we might make mistakes, we can become stuck and not grow and change in positive ways.

We also frequently hear or read about other people’s accomplishments.  But many times those accounts do not tell about what happened along the way—the stops and starts, the challenges that needed to be dealt with.  Only by being willing to try and to continue to try despite difficulties were they able to accomplish what they did.  They didn’t give up.

That is what we need to do when we are endeavoring to follow our inner direction, the direction given to us by our Creator and by the Self (to use Jungian terminology).  We need to try and to keep on trying despite obstacles that get in our way.  Obstacles come in many forms.  Sometimes people we care about don’t understand our choices and try to talk us out of them or they distance themselves from us, which can be very hurtful.  Another common challenge is our ego’s resistance to making changes, resistance that takes energy to overcome.  And there are many distractions in our modern world that we need to make an effort to avoid.

It is by trying, by making efforts, that we affirm our intention to work toward doing what we believe we are supposed to do.  As Mother Teresa said, it is by trying that we are doing what God requires.

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” — Chinese proverb

I came upon this quote in a book I was reading recently.  The book is about ecology and emphasizes the importance of protecting forests because they are integral to the health of our earth and its atmosphere, and to the wellness of human beings and many other creatures.  When I read the quote, I thought about how it pertains to many other aspects of our lives as well.

We often hear or read about the importance of setting goals and then working toward reaching those goals.  Having goals can be a source of hope and working toward them can add to our sense of purpose.  And yet it’s fairly common for us to have ideas of what we would like to accomplish but then to put off taking the steps required to make those ideas a reality.  It takes self-discipline and there are many distractions in our modern world that readily give us excuses to put off taking those steps.  In order to make progress, we need to embrace the idea that the “second best time is now” so that we will begin doing that which ideally we should have started doing already.

It’s essential to distinguish between direction given to us by our inner voice and goals that are only ego-based.  Inner direction comes to us through dreams, synchronicities, intuition, and unexpected life experiences, all of which are phenomena that we do not cause to happen but that instead happen to us.

The fact that the promptings we receive in these ways are to help us live more genuine lives and to use the abilities and blessings we’ve been given does not mean trying to follow inner direction is easy.  And yet when we endeavor to make changes in order to live in ways that we’ve done our best to discern are from our inner voice, there is a sense of “this is what matters, this is what I’m called to do.”  And we are given help from the universe to have the courage, creativity, energy, and perseverance that we need in order to move forward along our path.

Trying to hear our inner voice, to discern its messages, and to follow the direction we’re given—direction that is unique to each of us—is essential to our emotional and spiritual well-being.

“Gratitude to God is to accept everything, even my problems, with joy.”

This quotation is by Mother Teresa, a person known to have been someone who gave of herself as an individual and through the charitable organizations she founded to assist people who were experiencing some of the most difficult situations.  She and others in those organizations helped people who were living in poverty, provided care to people dying from terminal illnesses, and in many other ways endeavored to treat people in need with dignity.  And that work continues.

Even though I know from personal experience and from the reading I’ve done that all people are faced with difficulties and challenges from time to time, I often struggle to accept that reality.  At times I feel some shame about this, especially when I think of the dire situations that many people endure in comparison to the difficulties I’ve experienced.  In fact, the women and men whom I admire and respect most—both those who lived in the past whom I’ve learned about through historical accounts as well as people in the present—faced adversity with courage and perseverance.

In her quote, Mother Teresa speaks of gratitude. As I’ve written in other posts, I believe being thankful for and not taking for granted the many positive aspects of our lives is something we should be mindful of.  It’s easy to be thankful for that which our ego wants.  The challenge comes when there are occurrences that our ego doesn’t want—that is when our resistance gets in the way of being thankful.  Mother Teresa not only expresses gratitude, but gratitude even for her problems, and not just acceptance, but acceptance with joy.

Meaningful change usually requires taking steps—one step at a time, as we often hear.  The first step is to endeavor to become more accepting.  The next step is to work toward recognizing that we need to be thankful even for problems when they occur because they are part of our life path and help us to grow and change in positive ways.  After being able to do that, we will be more ready to take the third step of accepting our problems with joy.  It very likely will take time to complete each step, and that’s OK.  We need to be patient with ourselves.  And we need to remember that every step we take matters.